i think I am pansexual and don't know what to do

[Sparrow]

Well I am pretty sure that I am pansexual only I don't know what to do. I go to an all girls school and though my mum is accepting of everything, my brother is not. I am also worried about what my friends think if I tell them.

The other problem is, one of my best friends is also pansexual and I think I might be attracted to her, but I don't know what to say and I worry about what everyone will say when I tell them should anything happen between us.

If someone could give me some advice I would really appreciate it thank you

[Amberpamber]

Just sit your family down and tell them how you feel, it looks like your mom will take it quite well. As for your brother, I wouldn't worry to much about it, might take him some time but you're family he should love you no matter what. Your friends should like you for who you are no matter what, if they don't I really wouldn't consider them your true friends and as far as the girl you have feelings for tell her 1st about your sexuality and see how she takes it. After that decide if its safe to tell her more or not.

[Celestial.]

Hey there.

First off, I think it's great that you've accepted yourself, since I know that for some people, that's the hardest part of coming out - admitting it to yourself. So I'm glad you've done that. As for what to do - you don't have to do anything. You can be as open about this as you like - and that includes not telling anyone. If you don't want to share this part of you just yet, you don't have to. Don't even consider coming out until you're ready; on the other hand, if you are ready, coming out can be a liberating experience, and can mean you get a supportive network of friends.

If you want to start coming out to your family, it sounds like talking to your mother first might be a good idea. It's always great to have a supportive parent, and once you talk to her, she might be able to help you figure out whether you should tell your brother, and, if you do, how to do it. You don't have to tell all your friends at once. When I started coming out, I told one or two of my closest friends, and once they were comfortable with it, I started telling more. That way I built up my support network, and knew that I had people on my side in case somebody took it badly (which, so far, nobody has). So, are any of your friends more accepting than the others? Are you especially close to some? Have any expressed any support for, say, LGBT rights or equality? If you're not sure, you can always drop something into the conversation, like the topic of gay marriage, and see how people react - but remember that how they react to that, or even how they react in the group setting, could be different to how they really feel. That said, it can give a good indication.

As for your pansexual friend - is she 'out'? If so, how do people treat her? If they're okay with that friend being pansexual, they probably will be with you too. You could try talking to this friend, and coming out to her, so that at the very least you have hersupport. Then you can see where it takes you. Or, if you're up for it, you could just ask her out, which is a bit like killing two birds with one stone.

As for how people will react - well, that's their problem, not yours. There are always going to be people who disapprove, and while it can be hard to ignore them, just remember that there's nothing wrong with being who you are and liking who you like. You're you, and you shouldn't apologise for that, or feel like you have to hide. Then again, as I said before, this is your business, not theirs, so if you don't want to open up, you don't have to.

I hope I helped, and I hope things work out well for you.

Take care.