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LGBT, Sexuality and Gender Identity Whether you're LGBT, questioning, have gender identity issues, or have entirely unrelated feelings, this forum is here to help.

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Question Worries - November 24th 2011, 12:06 AM

So I like this girl and I found out yesterday that she likes me too. But she's stuck in the whole "I can't be gay" issue. And the fact that she wants kids. I talked to her about it all and she felt better. She said I made her feel like her worries are silly but I'm afraid she really didn't get over them much. Advice on how to help her accept herself? I hate seeing her so stressed over something so simple


A broken heart just proves you did care and you didn't lie. A broken heart just proves your human. A broken heart just proves your still alive even though you feel dead inside </3
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Re: Worries - November 25th 2011, 08:18 PM

Unfortunately, there isn't very much you can do. Sexuality is a very personal thing, and people have to come to terms with it on their own. If she is struggling with her own emotions over having feelings for the same sex, she will have to process those by herself. You can encourage her that you love and accept her for who she is, and that you will be there for her in whatever way she needs you to be, but beyond that there isn't much you can really do. Just let her know things CAN be worked out, and that you will stick by her while she does that.


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"Then it doesn't matter which way you go."

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Re: Worries - November 26th 2011, 04:09 AM

Just mainly be her friend, and remind her of that right now. Bring her along to a GSA in your area, it could help her to see that there is nothing wrong with being gay.


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and a We in Wellness."
   
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Re: Worries - November 26th 2011, 05:18 AM

Right now, be her friend. Don't push her to be ready to date, because that might just push her away. If you have a GSA chapter around you, take her to a meeting so she can meet other people in similar situations. Remind her that being a lesbian is perfectly fine, and she should focus on what makes her happy, not what she's expected to be. Chances are, this is going to be a very emotional time for her. Sexuality is very personal, and realizing that your sexuality is different from what is expected can be challenging. Be there to support her, to help her pick up the pieces, and to remind her that she is an amazing person. If a relationship forms later on, great! If not, you still have an amazing friend. Good luck!


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Re: Worries - November 26th 2011, 05:21 AM

Something that seems simple to you, can be way out of reach for someone else. People handle things in different ways, and if shes still not completly sure about her sexuality, you cant rush her decision. Just be there for her, and let her know how you feel, but if you push her, shes not going to decide any faster. I hope things work out for you and your friend!


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Re: Worries - December 1st 2011, 12:44 AM

Ok so I just realized all the replies and maybe I should of explained the situation a little better. I'm in no way trying to rush her choice or into a relationship. I just broke up with my girl... Ex.. Whatever she is a week ago. And I'm not ready for another relationship. I just want to know if there was something you were told that really helped you when you went through this. She knows there's other people out there. Two of our best friends are gay and then she has a lot more gay friends I barely know. I'm not even sure where to begin explaining this situation these days.. Lol


A broken heart just proves you did care and you didn't lie. A broken heart just proves your human. A broken heart just proves your still alive even though you feel dead inside </3
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