a moment of realization?

[justmeg]

so i've been questioning my sexuality for like, 3+ years (even though it feels like forever)...for background see my previous post (questioning...still) in this same forum-category

anyway, i was talking to one of my now guy friends (who i happened to date over the summer, hoping it would help me figure some things out. we're still friends). so somehow the convo got onto the topic of gay friends we have. i mentioned that one of my friends in high school (openly lesbian) had asked me out numerous times. he responded, "did she know you're straight?"

i kind of froze for a minute, not sure what to say. my first thought was literally, "but i'm not..." i obviously didn't want to say that as i'm still not completely sure about myself and don't want to go around filling everyone in on my more personal feelings regardless.

was it some kind of realization? i keep hoping that i'll get some kind of sign that will just help everything fall into place and i'll just know for sure in one moment. (i doubt it happens like that but it would be nice, yea?) it's just so confusing, sometimes. one moment i'll think to myself that i'm completely straight and all is well in my life, but the next moment i'll think to myself that i'm not but all will be well. talk about frustrating. i just want to know for sure and be okay with it either way...

thoughts/advice appreciated. PMs welcome, too!

[ProjectD]

Realization? That's hard to say.

I had personally gone through things that would have definitely put a "label" on me, but I denied those things.

Everybody thinks of such things at one point or another, but that doesn't necessarily guarantee sexuality or any realization.

You are normal for thinking of such things. I mean, I had to for a while, and my "realization" (if it eve was one) moment came later than I felt it should have.

You can't exactly label anything, and I know it sucks. But why worry about it? If you are, then great! If not, then great! You will still be an awesome person either way, so if you want to pursue such feelings, then who can truly stop you from doing so?

[justmeg]

i didn't mean realization as in OMG REALIZATION, if that makes sense. more like a clue? i dunno. it was just weird, cause i wasn't expecting myself to react like that. im just thankful we were talking online because it would have been really awkward had it been in person.
and thank you i generally try to avoid labels, but feel i should define my sexuality to some extent at least. i guess i'll kind of just be going with the flow for now...

[Miss Adventure]

I don't really think that there is a "clue" you can find that will make everything fall into place. I went through something similar to what you're going through right now and I didn't really realize that I was a lesbian until I started exploring my sexuality a bit more.

[bookishnerd]

From my experiences, your first thoughts are the most honest.

[justmeg]

Originally Posted by bookishnerd

From my experiences, your first thoughts are the most honest.

right though?! always trust a first instinct...i feel like they rarely lead one astray...

[Chris.]

Well unfortunalty we dont get signs like this.

I would ask these questions:

Have I ever dated a guy (if so how did the relationship go)?
Have you done anything with a male?
Have you done anything with a female
What was the difference between the to?

If you havent done anything with a male, I would maybe try to get in a relationship and see how you feel. Same with a female, although that may be alittle harder unless its when your drunk and you guys start doing something.

To really know if your straight, gay, or bi, you need to experiment and play around. See how you feel, and how things go. It may take a few more years, or a few months. Just role with the flow and investigate!

Goodluck!

[justmeg]

thanks for the advice, chris. i've actually dated both, but they were the only two people i've ever done anything with, so i really don't have a lot to go on...that's the biggest problem i think. for me, it's hard to start a relationship right now (i'm bustin' my butt in school at the moment) but i do want to kind of "investigate" as you put it. it's just weird timing right now, ya know? i'm just going with the flow for now and hoping things just work out

[Celestial.]

Since Meg seems happy with the responses, I'm going to close this thread. PM me if you want it reopened.