GSA

[♥ Choir. ♥]

I'm in my school's GSA, which my parents disapprove(and make evident), but they normally let me stay after anyway. After the last meeting my mother asked me if everyone in GSA is gay, I told her no. I only know two for sure who are gay or lesbian and I know two or three who are bisexual or pansexual. She started to ask if I'm lesbian, stopped and said never mind. I know that she's afraid I'm not straight, and I'm not planning on coming out to them(I'm pansexual) until I move out. When I told my older sister, she told me to hide it until then, there's a chance they'll kick me out when I tell them. If my mother asks me, what do I say?

[Chris.]

Well if you really want to keep it away from her and she asks again, I would just say, no Im not lesbian. But if you feel it the right timing to tell them, then I would do it. I personally would keep it away until around age 18 and your about to move on. They may accept it alot more.

Goodluck.

Best wishes,
Chris

[Chasers]

Hey!

Chris's answer was excellent, because technically you are not a lesbian. Pansexual is still a fairly new word these days, do your parents know what a pansexual is?

Also do you have a partner? If not, then there really is no reason to worry about telling your parents when they do ask. If they do, just be like "I don't know. I'm just trying to find myself right now" as most high schoolers are and there should be no shame in that at all. And you are young, so your mom shouldn't be pressuring you at all right now. Five years is going to be hard to remain quite.

And like Chris said, if you find a chance to open up with her and have a conversation then have it, but you need to protect yourself otherwise.

Hope this helps and feel free to PM me if you need anything else.

Chasers

[Sythan]

If you're in danger, either physically or financially, then don't come out. Wait until you're able to safely, ie. moving out and away until breaking it to them, and always have the PFLAG (Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians And Gays) information to hand to them if you do. If your mother asks you currently, lie and say you're straight.

Remember, you have the support of your GSA if you ever want to talk to them.

[teddscau]

Nothing to add. Just noticed that a lot of people and sites talk about not coming out to prevent "being kicked out by your parents", and the like. People kick their kids out? They must be arrogent losers then. I asked my mum (theoretically) if she'd kick me out due to sexual orientation and she said she'd never. My parents would never kick me out (they aren't biggots and they love me), and if they did, well, I don't think they'd want to be sued for child neglect, hate crime, and etc.

[Guile]

Don't lie to your parents, now that's just downright promoting direct immorality.

[Loving Linux Penguin]

Yes, it happens, but I heard recently on a PBS program (or was it local program on the PBS affiliate...not sure) that apparently there have been studies finding that most parents never actually wanted their kids to end up severed from them permanently--they were just in shock and didn't know how else to deal with it.

Originally Posted by teddscau

Nothing to add. Just noticed that a lot of people and sites talk about not coming out to prevent "being kicked out by your parents", and the like. People kick their kids out? They must be arrogent losers then. I asked my mum (theoretically) if she'd kick me out due to sexual orientation and she said she'd never. My parents would never kick me out (they aren't biggots and they love me), and if they did, well, I don't think they'd want to be sued for child neglect, hate crime, and etc.

[Chasers]

Originally Posted by Guile

Don't lie to your parents, now that's just downright promoting direct immorality.

Even though you are protecting yourself from being kicked out?

[Sythan]

Originally Posted by Guile

Don't lie to your parents, now that's just downright promoting direct immorality.

So getting kicked out and being homeless is better than lying to protect yourself? Not sure that's entirely logical or a smart thing to even consider.

[bbratton]

I am a lesbian who came out at the age of 19. However, when i was in high school and my parents would ask i would say no.Now, that i have been out for 6 years, i wish i would have been honest and not lied. I thought they were going to react badly and i was scared so i lied. Honesty is the best policy. But if you are not a lesbian technically you are not lying if your answer is no.

[Squidgy]

Originally Posted by Sythan

If you're in danger, either physically or financially, then don't come out. Wait until you're able to safely, ie. moving out and away until breaking it to them, and always have the PFLAG (Parents, Friends, and Family of Lesbians And Gays) information to hand to them if you do. If your mother asks you currently, lie and say you're straight.

Perfect answer. The most important thing is you're safety. And parents don't usually ask if you're gay so you should be okay. Lying is okay when it comes to keeping yourself safe (as long as you're not endangering someone else)

[Chris.]

Originally Posted by Guile

Don't lie to your parents, now that's just downright promoting direct immorality.

I totally Disagree with this statement. I believe that if you feel its not the right time to tell your parents due to personal reasons (abuse or maybe being kicked out) then I believe saying that you are straight, or that you are simply 'trying to find myself' is not wrong on any level. Just my opionion.