Confused

[Charlie1230]

First, I'm not sure what all the sexuality's mean anymore. I have heard many such as transsexual, gender queer, transgendered etc. I'm sort of wondering what all of them mean now...

Second, I am confused on who I am personally. For a while I seriously thought I was transsexual. But, now I'm not so sure. I just need advice on how I could not be confused and find myself. I know it takes time but, I'm not sure what to do anymore. One of my friends told me not to talk to an adult about it and another told me I should. What are some things I could do that might help?

[Celestial.]

Hey Charlie.

My first piece of advice is this: don't worry so much about labels. While they can be helpful, they can also cause a lot of confusion and be more hassle than they're worth. A lot more people these days are choosing not to identify as one of the more rigid categories, such as lesbian, gay, FTM or MTF. There's a trend to just identify as fluid, flexible, or as nothing at all - you like who you like, you are who you are, and that's good enough. If you're really interested in all of the labels and what they mean, however, there's a helpful little sticky here.

You've put your finger on something very important here: time. Take as much as you need. There's no rush, right? You're still young (and I know you're probably sick of hearing that, but it's still true) and things can change so much. You don't have to put a label on yourself, or know everything about yourself just yet - try to enjoy the journey, the discovery of new things. You don't have to do anything right now.

Although I would say that talking to somebody could help you figure things out. It doesn't have to be an adult - maybe somebody who's very open minded, or has gone through the same thing. A counsellor could even help in this situation, so is that something you would consider? Just remember that you're not alone, and there are people out there who will support you, and understand what you're going through.

Take care, and good luck.