Fears about being Transgender

[confused623717]

I've always thought I was comfortable as a male, I'm 17, have a healthy attraction to females, and I've never thought I was uncomfortable with my gender identity. I've been fine with being called male and do still think of myself as one.

Yet at times, like currently, I've begun wondering if it's possible for someone to be transgender despite overall living their live comfortable with their birth-gender? I've heard about people 'realizing it later', and that sort worries me. I do occasionally wonder what it's like to be a woman, perhaps just because it's different? but I don't feel "wrong" in my body and never have as a child. Puberty was also easy on me as well, and I like my beard

I suffer from severe paranoia and anxiety issues (I've worried about being gay as well, though this was earlier in my puberty, and I've also worried about the world ending on some dates), so this might just be a paranoid phase I'm going through, but I'm still interested in hearing some viewpoints.

[Yorehl]

I started feeling the same way about a year ago and over time its gotten a lot worse for me. I'm not saying you are or anything, I'm just saying keep an eye on it for a while. Don't do anything drastic like come out to family until your absolutely sure.

[confused623717]

Originally Posted by LovelyCactus

I started feeling the same way about a year ago and over time its gotten a lot worse for me. I'm not saying you are or anything, I'm just saying keep an eye on it for a while. Don't do anything drastic like come out to family until your absolutely sure.

There's still a lot of variables to consider. Were you like this from an early age? Have you always been slightly uncomfortable with your gender? Do you prefer imagining yourself as female?

[ToGoOmniscient]

Hello,

first of all, I wanna welcome you both to TeenHelp (:

And second... I can actually relate.
I'm a 14 year old bisexual female, and just like you guys, I am happy with my body and my attraction (in this case to both sexes) but lately, I've been wondering... if I was born in the wrong body. I haven't been thinking about it too much, because I don't... really want to. I guess I've just been considering how it would affect me, my friends and my family if I were be transgender.

I agree with LovelyCactus. Just think about it and make sure you're absolutely sure. But overall, make sure you're happy with who you are. Whatever your decision is, I wish you the best of luck.

xx

[Yorehl]

Personally, this all started for me about a year or so ago. Looking back, however, i have always acted and felt very feminine. As for imagining myself as a female, YES! I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I do it all the time, and sometimes I go on chat rooms and pretend to be a girl. Is that wrong?

[Invert]

Originally Posted by confused623717

I've always thought I was comfortable as a male, I'm 17, have a healthy attraction to females, and I've never thought I was uncomfortable with my gender identity. I've been fine with being called male and do still think of myself as one.

Yet at times, like currently, I've begun wondering if it's possible for someone to be transgender despite overall living their live comfortable with their birth-gender? I've heard about people 'realizing it later', and that sort worries me. I do occasionally wonder what it's like to be a woman, perhaps just because it's different? but I don't feel "wrong" in my body and never have as a child. Puberty was also easy on me as well, and I like my beard

I suffer from severe paranoia and anxiety issues (I've worried about being gay as well, though this was earlier in my puberty, and I've also worried about the world ending on some dates), so this might just be a paranoid phase I'm going through, but I'm still interested in hearing some viewpoints.

I don't actually know you, and even if I did, I wouldn't actually know how you are feeling. However from what you've written here, it doesn't sound like you are even starting to identify as a woman (though just to highlight, a healthy attraction to females is unimportant on the gender identity issue). If sounds like you are starting to think, 'what if I'm wrong, and Im not comfortable being a male', simply out of anxiety, and the fact some people have 'realised' later in life. Your final paragraph too makes it sound like anxiety may be behind all these fears.

Now I might be wrong, you may actually be starting to feel you are a woman, but really, it doesn't sound like it. And until that starts to happen, don't worry about it. You aren't trans until you are trans. And by feel like a woman, I mean more than trying to imagine the senario of what it would be like to be a woman. Curiousity is actually quite normal. I know lots of non-trans girls who sometimes wonder what it'd be like to be a boy. I'm sure many boys think about the topic too, but girls are more willing to talk about these things.

And most trans people I know (but not all trans people) at least feel 'some thing is wrong' or 'different' about them from before they realise they are trans. Some will have been very trans-y as kids, some will have always been uncomfortable, but not all. Most people don't really start to get uncomfortabel till puberty, when you have changes that make you very physically male or female.

Personally, this all started for me about a year or so ago. Looking back, however, i have always acted and felt very feminine. As for imagining myself as a female, YES! I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but I do it all the time, and sometimes I go on chat rooms and pretend to be a girl. Is that wrong?

LovelyCactus, feeling feminine and feeling like you are a female appear to be different things. For example, lots of really feminine men still feel really like men, and many butch maculine women really feel like women. It is a possible precusor, but as you, yourself has said, take your time, and don't rush to a 'decision'. If you are comfortable with how you are living now, live like this. Even if you decide you are trans, but you are comfortable, you don't have to transition. Transition is simply used to help certain people feel comfortable, it is not in fact a requirement, but an option.

Though the chat room thing is neither here nor there. Lots of people cross-play their gender in things like chat rooms. You'd have to ask yourself why you are doing it. But I wouldn't say its wrong, especially if you are using it for self-exploration, though I would avoid making close friendships, or at least relationships if you are doing that, especially whilst you arent sure which gender you identify as.