Hate/love obsession

[Serge]

Ok so there was a guy who entered my school when I was in seventh grade. After a few months we figured out our personalities were kind of similar, except he was more jerkish than me. We then became competitive about who was best, this ended being a huge problem almost to the point of being enemies. We liked to tease/ bully each other. Then sadly I got really obsessed with him, mainly for the fact that we both made the same choices without knowing it (even the same mistakes in the exams) After that I kind of began liking him, but still I liked hating him. He never had a girlfriend, and the girl he said he like was the same girl I said I liked. Anyways last year, he moved back to Kentucky and since then I feel kind of empty. No competition, no love, no anything The problem is really big now since lately I have been having nightmares about it. What can I do?? Its not like I can tell anyone "Remember the guy I hated?? It turns out I love him and miss him like crazy

[Eldora]

Oh, dear. I'm totally a girl, but I can see what you're going through.

My ex and I were like this at first (he was a guy, by the way): We fought like crazy and were extremely competitive over the smallest things. We dated for a while, and now everyone thinks we hate each other again... Including the guy I dated, though I don't really hate him at all. Now he's moving to Ohio this summer, and I don't guess I'll ever see him again after that. I've already began to feel empty about it, and it hurts like hell. So, I'm extremely sympathetic toward you, haha.


Now, as for the dreams. If you think about him before you go to sleep, you're going to have to stop that to get rid of the nightmares. Concentrate on other things, other people, make up random stories in your head, but don't think about him. I used to dream about my ex all the time, and I soon figured out that when I could manage to think about something else before I went to sleep, I (most often) didn't dream about him.


Also, to get rid of the emptiness you feel, try taking up a new hobby or something. (Even if that hobby is a new person to like). And it might seem like there's no one else in this entire world that's like he was (or better), but just keep your eyes open.

To quote one of my favorite songs, it's hard to notice gleaming from the sky,
when you're staring at the cracks. In other words, you can't see a good thing in your future when you're looking about the bad things in your past. Keep your chin up, and your eyes open, and you'll no longer feel empty.


I hope you feel better about this soon. Heartache sucks like hell, haha. If you want to PM me sometime, then feel free to.

[Serge]

Originally Posted by Eldora

Also, to get rid of the emptiness you feel, try taking up a new hobby or something. (Even if that hobby is a new person to like). And it might seem like there's no one else in this entire world that's like he was (or better), but just keep your eyes open.

Thanks I might just do that (although its kind of hard)

[Eldora]

Oh, it's not just 'kind of hard'. It's extremely hard. But once you see someone else to like and concentrate on, it really helps.

[Shawn K.]

Dude, sorry to hear what you're going through. Got a question though. Do you love this guy, or are you in love with him?

My absolute best friend and I are so close that we don't call each other friend, we are brothers. My family calls us brothers. We're inseparable. I'm grounded right now ( thats why I'm posting on here so much ) but he's the only one who's allowed over. He's here now spending the weekend. He's a foster kid that moved in with neighbors that live near me, is the same age, and we've been friends/brothers since fifth grade. I want my dad to adopt him so we'll be legal brothers.

My point is, I love this guy, and I know he loves me. If for some reason he would ever move away, I'd need therapy for sure. But I'm not "in love" with him. It's not a romantic thing.