Could I be... trans?

[terminallyCapricious]

I have been trying to figure out what gender I am for a long time and recently I've just been thinking so much about how badly I want to be a girl. I finally got the opportunity to get some girl clothing and... yeah. I loved it. I took a lot of photos, and I look beautiful. I even went online and chatted with people on camera, everyone was blown away when I revealed I was a boy. And that felt AMAZING.

It never has bothered me to be called "he" and everyone knows me as a male, and I'm totally fine with that. But... I'd prefer it if I was "she" instead. This is what makes me confused, the friends of mine who are trans all seem to have hated their biological sex, and felt "wrong" in their bodies. I feel great in mine, I just want to... upgrade, I guess.

I don't mind my male body. Heck, I like it! Sometimes, it's a lot of fun to be big and macho and manly! But... I want even more to be feminine and girly and pretty. If I could snap my fingers and be a girl, poof, I'd do it in a heartbeat. But does that make me transgendered?

For the most part, online, where I can be whoever I want, I'm a girl to everyone, because it's what I really want. And right now I'm a very confused girl. I don't really know where I "fit," if that makes any sense.

Any trans/genderqueer/anyone else folks out there have some advice for me?

[Ennui.]

Hey there,

I may not be transgender, but I do want to let you know that you aren't alone in this. It is possible that you are transgender, although this is something that you will have to determine, and this may take time. I will give you the link to our Queer Dictionaryto look through the gender identity section a bit. Maybe you will find something else there that fits you, if you don't think transgender does. But in the meantime, if you want to dress or act a certain way, by all means do. You are wonderful just the way you are and you have every right to identify as whatever you'd like to. It seems as if you do have some accepting friends around you who may also be able to help you out, so maybe you can speak to some of those trans friends and get their experiences as well. They probably would be willing to at least tell you a bit about what they went through and give you their ideas.

Try not to stress too much though, this is something that will get better in time. We have a lot of transgender people on the site too so I bet you'll have a really great support system!

[Lamia]

Hey there! I am trans myself. I just saw this and felt bad I didn't see it sooner!

As I am on my phone keyboard right now, I'm afraid I can't type a long post with links, as Inwould like to, but if you're interested in talking to me about it, don't hesitate to send me a private message about it, and I'll respond ASAP (which, unfortunately, with school and all, would be sometime tomorrow evening.)

I recommend you do check out the link Dez gave you. It's one of the first things I link to people who are questioning, and I think it's a great way to get started if you are questioning.

Best regards, and again, feel free to talk to me any time about this.

-Kat

[terminallyCapricious]

Thanks for the responses, guys. It's always reassuring to hear that people out there understand. Gender stuff has always been an absolute fascination of mine. I'd have probably studied it in college if I'd had the chance. Didn't ever think back in the day that I might be questioning my own gender someday! Amazing how the addition or subtraction of a single letter from "he" to "she" makes all the difference in the world... both in how you see yourself, and how others see you.

*head spins*