Boys and girls

[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Something is wrong with me, family and church say never okay to like girls because I'm a girl, only boys. I'm liking boys and girls, how do I fix myself?[/size][/color][/font]

[Ennui.]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for liking both guys and girls. I know that your family and church say otherwise, but liking both guys and girls doesn't make you a bad person in the least. It's just who you are. You can't control who you are and who you develop feelings for, and it's not something that is easily "fixed." It's a part of who you are.

The important thing is to surround yourself with other people who ARE supportive. Your family may not be supportive, but do you have friends, teachers, or other trusted adults who you can reach out to about this? There are people that will love you and care about you regardless of who you love, and those are the people you want to surround yourself with. Does your school have a gay-straight alliance or something similar? If you're able to join it without your family finding out it may be a way to meet other people like you who you can develop friendships with.

It's also important that you are safe while you are still living at home. For example, if you do end up dating girls while you live at home I wouldn't bring them around your family if they are unsafe to be around. You want to make sure that before you live as your authentic self that you would be safe to do so, such as having a safe place to go if things don't go as planned.

While you are going through this, try and develop outlets for your emotions, especially when things get tough. Writing, art, or music are great ways to express your emotions. You can also do something like go for a walk or do another form of exercise. Also remember to practice self-care. Things are hard right now, but make sure you perform basic activities, even if it's just showering or brushing your teeth. But also do nice things for yourself, like treating yourself to your favorite snack, using your favorite lotion, or lighting a nice candle.

Treat yourself kindly. You are a good person with a lot to offer the world. Who you love does not define your worth.

[Ambedo.]

Hi there,

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you for liking both boys and girls. You can't control what gender(s) you're attracted to. It's just a part of who you are. Unfortunately, there will always be people that don't agree with that or that will try to shame you for living your truth. But, at the end of the day, you have to focus on what makes you the happiest and what allows you to live your most authentic life.

I'm sorry to hear that, in addition to your church community, you don't feel supported by your family. One of the most beneficial things that you can do for yourself is to find people in your life that are supportive of you being exactly who you are. Do you have close friends at school or in your community that you feel comfortable coming out to? If not, perhaps you could see if your school offers a club for people in the LGBTQ+ community, such as GSA. Clubs like that are a great place to meet new people who will be nothing but supportive and may even be able to share their own stories with you.

If attending church is something that is important to you, you may also want to consider looking for inclusive churches in your area. I'm not sure what your religion is, but I have noticed a growth in churches in my community that welcome LGBTQ+ individuals and offer just as much support for them as they do for any other member of their church. Being part of the LGBTQ+ community doesn't mean you have to step away from your religious beliefs if that isn't something that you want to do. It's just about finding the right environment that fosters your religious growth AND is supportive of your identity.

If you ever need to talk, please feel free to shoot me a message anytime!

[Dawn.]

Hi there,

There is absolutely nothing wrong for you for liking both boy and girls. Please don't EVER think that. You are who you are and no one can change that. There will always be people out there that will support you for being you and I hope you find those people or you already have them in your life.