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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
LazzaBeep Offline
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Name: Laura
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: England

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Join Date: July 15th 2009

bad breakup - May 27th 2012, 03:49 PM


I've known this lad for 2 & a half years & we have been on and off 'seeing' each other for that whole time.
I fell in love with him about 6 months ago. When I told him this he got scared and cut off all contact with me.
2 weeks ago, we were talking again. We met up & he told me that he left because he left the same as I did but he was scared to disappoint me. (He has no job, dropped out of uni ect which is why he thought he would disappoint me)
I spoke to my friends about everything before I done anything else & they all said to be careful because he has hurt me before.
I got with him because I honestly thought he'd changed.
A few days after we officially got together we slept together and he was the first person I slept with.
The day after this he ended things.
He said that it was strange that we were together after us been friends for so long.
Now I'm left heartbroken again.
All my friends have boyfriends and when I see them all together it rips me apart. Not because I'm jealous but because I had that not 2 weeks ago.
Now I don't even want to get out of bed because it hurts so much.

I just don't know how to pull myself out of this now...

Do You Take The Non-Believers, Because I'm A Non-Believer

There are 6 billion people in this world. But sometimes all you need is 1.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
PSY Offline
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Name: Robin
Age: 31
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Location: Southern California

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Join Date: June 12th 2009

Re: bad breakup - June 3rd 2012, 06:06 AM

Laura, I am so sorry that things turned out this way. =( I'm afraid that this pain isn't going to go away for some time, but it WILL gradually ease up. It hurts when your trust has been betrayed - even if the person who betrayed you didn't necessarily mean to do so. The only advice I can offer is to take this as a lesson learned, and to hold on to the belief that not all relationships will end up this way. This was a complicated situation, but you can avoid similar problems in the future when you are willing to put your heart out there again. Spend time with your friends (single ones may be best) to boost morale, and eventually, you're going to be able to push this incident behind you.

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survivor. :)
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Re: bad breakup - June 3rd 2012, 06:26 AM

Hey there Laura,

I am so sorry you have had to go through this. Having your trust betrayed like that is horrible. Unfortunately like Robin said, there is no easy answer for this, its gonna take time. You must remember that not everyone will be like that and in time you will be able to trust again - don't hold it against every guy you meet as they are all different. I know it will be hard to build bridges again, but it is possible, your heart will heal.

Try and spend as much time as you can with your friends, make sure that you don't isolate yourself from people as that really won't help you in the long run. Maybe mention it to them how much your struggling and that its hard for you to see them together, i'm sure if they knew they would try and be more subtle in front of you around - they care about you.

Feel free to PM me any time if you would like to chat.
Take care of yourself,

You have to have the negative things in life
to be able to appreciate the positives.
TG 05/04/2013
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