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needsyourhelp23 Offline
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Unhappy Serious Advice Regarding A Relationship - November 26th 2012, 06:18 AM

I am twenty years old. I have been in a relationship with a man for 3 years. He's twenty-four and lives at home with his parents. I also live at home but have been having a very difficult time. My family yells and fights all the time. My stuff is always getting stolen from my sister. I can't ever get any sleep and have even been kicked out for something completely unnecessary.
My boyfriend on the other hand gets to enjoy his at home life. His mother makes him dinner. She does his laundry. His family pays for his internet. etc.
He recently got a better job and is now making about 50,000 a year. His parents refuse to let me sleep over even if it means ill be sleeping in my car. They don't allow it regardless if i sleep on couch. His sister on the other hand (my age) is allowed to have her boyfriend sleep over when she comes into town. They even pay for her apt. with her boyfriend. Not fair at all. Especially cause my boyfriend is 24. Anyways I work very little cause im a nursing student and i have to go to school full time. I get paid 8.25 an hour and hardly have enough money to survive.
Considering my terrible at home conditions I want to move out so that I can be happy again and be able to work on my school work in peace.
My boyfriend refuses to do this and says I must come up with half the rent for about three weeks to show him I can move out.
The problem is he knows I can't come up with that money because I dont make much to begin with. It hurts me that he says he loves me and wants to marry me someday but forces me to pay exactly half when he makes so much more than me. He brings up womens equality rights to justify his actions.
He doesnt want to move out for me. He doesn't care that Im suffering at home and would never make a deal with his parents to let me stay over once in awhile. Im in need of help.
He doesnt want to move out and claims hell still till 30 if he wants to. I need a more stable life but Im torn on what to do.
I have no body in my life. He was my only friend.

Please help.
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Eternal Offline
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Re: Serious Advice Regarding A Relationship - November 27th 2012, 03:47 AM

I think the problem here is that he has a completely different home life from you so he isn't able to put himself in your shoes and understand how bad it is. This doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, it just means he is lacking some perspective.
Regarding him asking you to come up with half of the money, I think the issue here is he is worried you might end up completely relying on him financially. By earning half the money for three weeks, this would be some assurance to him that you aren't just using him for his money. However, I do agree that this isn't very fair and he should be willing to help you out.
My best advice here would be to look for another job that would get you a little more pay and continue talking to your boyfriend about your living situation and try and get him to understand the difficulty of the situation. You can try talking about how nice it would be to live together to help convince him.

And here you are living, despite it all.
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