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shortie4life Offline
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Breakup Takes a Turn for the Worst... - May 17th 2013, 10:13 PM

I am 16 and I think I was depressed since 14. Anyway, I dated someone for two years. We broke up in September. Once I realized he was really gone (new years day) my heart was broken. He was like the only friend I had..my best friend and someone who complimented me when I was down. And he was a really nice boyfriend, but also kind of sensitive. He would cry if he felt like he didn't live up to my expectations. Needless to say, I never thought he would be the one to break my heart. Now he has a new girlfriend and they've gone to Panama Beach together while only dating for a month. We've never been on an overnight date...idk whose parents would allow that...I wouldn't even think his parents would but I guess that doesn't matter. And to make matters worse, I don't even have any guys worth my time chasing after me. I'm left without a boyfriend, and he has the times of his life at the beach. It saddens me to even think he's laughing at me behind my back, which he probably is.

The breakup really took a toll on me. I feel very lonely. My self esteem is low. the worst part is that I still don't have a boyfriend. No guys seem interested in me. The weird part is that I felt alone and insecure when I was with my ex, so I cant really say my problems come from that. They really escalated tho. Basically, I want to know if theres anyone out there that's been in a similar situation? How did you get through ongoing problems of insecurity, loneliness, depression, and a breakup with someone that's having none of those problems. His life seems better without me in it. I hate high school.
   
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Re: Breakup Takes a Turn for the Worst... - May 17th 2013, 11:37 PM

This is actually pretty normal after a break up. I never thought my ex would break up with me either (this happened three years ago) and I can definitely relate with how you are feeling right now. He quickly had a thing with a girl so I know how much it hurts.
Let me just tell you know that his new relationship is likely just a rebound since you two were together for two years.
Did he ever give you any closure or reason as to why he wanted to break up? His feelings may have just disappeared which is common in long-term relationships.
I also want to mention that you don't need to get into another relationship right away just because your ex did. You have to be able to be happy without relying on someone else. If you aren't over him, then it likely won't work out anyway. The best thing to do is take some time out for yourself right now and build your self esteem back up. Take more part in any activities you enjoy. Getting a makeover or a new haircut can also help you to feel better about yourself.
The pain you feel right now isn't permanent either. Try and avoid your ex if you can, and keep yourself distracted. It will definitely take time until you will know that you have moved on, so just hang in there. Take this time to talk to some other people and make some new friends that you can spend time with.
High school isn't that great, but you'll be done with it before you know it!


And here you are living, despite it all.
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Re: Breakup Takes a Turn for the Worst... - May 18th 2013, 04:22 AM

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Originally Posted by Silhouette View Post
This is actually pretty normal after a break up. I never thought my ex would break up with me either (this happened three years ago) and I can definitely relate with how you are feeling right now. He quickly had a thing with a girl so I know how much it hurts.
Let me just tell you know that his new relationship is likely just a rebound since you two were together for two years.
Did he ever give you any closure or reason as to why he wanted to break up? His feelings may have just disappeared which is common in long-term relationships.
I also want to mention that you don't need to get into another relationship right away just because your ex did. You have to be able to be happy without relying on someone else. If you aren't over him, then it likely won't work out anyway. The best thing to do is take some time out for yourself right now and build your self esteem back up. Take more part in any activities you enjoy. Getting a makeover or a new haircut can also help you to feel better about yourself.
The pain you feel right now isn't permanent either. Try and avoid your ex if you can, and keep yourself distracted. It will definitely take time until you will know that you have moved on, so just hang in there. Take this time to talk to some other people and make some new friends that you can spend time with.
High school isn't that great, but you'll be done with it before you know it!
Nope, no closure. Just stopped texting and calling every night, and stopped coming to my locker. I was too full of pride to switch it up and call and visit his locker. Sometimes I wish I could go back and chang e it but I know if he really loved me, he probably would have came back around like he usually did. My mother usually tells me that nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. I know this is true, but It's still hard to accept. He always told me that he would never leave, that he will never replace me. It's sad to see someone else taking my place. We were supposed to go to Panama City Beach together. I always said that. And someone else gets to do it? Lol, look at me ranting. Thanks tho.
   
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Re: Breakup Takes a Turn for the Worst... - May 20th 2013, 04:03 PM

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Originally Posted by shortie4life View Post
Nope, no closure. Just stopped texting and calling every night, and stopped coming to my locker. I was too full of pride to switch it up and call and visit his locker. Sometimes I wish I could go back and chang e it but I know if he really loved me, he probably would have came back around like he usually did. My mother usually tells me that nothing I could have done would have changed the outcome. I know this is true, but It's still hard to accept. He always told me that he would never leave, that he will never replace me. It's sad to see someone else taking my place. We were supposed to go to Panama City Beach together. I always said that. And someone else gets to do it? Lol, look at me ranting. Thanks tho.
Sometimes we never get the closure after the break up and sometimes it's best we don't and let it go. With my ex, I never got closure either. I didn't even know we were going to break up at all. He just called me up and called it quits. Next thing you know, he was with a girl 4 years younger than him. She ended up cheating on him. It broke my heart being the dumpee, but I didn't get official closure until I met a great guy just a year and a half ago who changed my life for the better. It ends up that I've been with this great guy for awhile and he currently hasn't dated anyone in a few years. Sometimes people don't work out, but it's not your fault. No one likes to feel lonely and the only reason you're thinking this way is because he was the only love in your life. I can assure you there will be plenty of loves in your life and it's worth the wait for the better and right guy. Good luck!




   
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