HELP Im 15 and i want a girlfriend

[Toyb1234]

My name is Toy. I swear is it. Im 15 and i really want a girlfriend. Ive never really had one. I suck at talking to girls. I dont know why but i am terrible at it. And im short. Ive tried and tried and tried. But i just cant seem to get one. Can somebody PLZ help me.

[PureStorm]

Hi Toy

I understand your problem (really do, felt the same way @ 15). People will tell you youre young and you should give it time, but I'll tell you you're ready for a relationship when you feel like it.

So you said you tried, tried and tried. What exactly did you try? I flirted with a good 100 women before I even came remotely close to a possible relationship. If you tried then that's very good, because believe it or not, failure will make you better. And that's why you should keep trying. Back to the question - what exactly did you try?
Also if you "try" too hard you will turn the women off with non-male behavior. It is hard for a virgin, but try not to be clingy or needy - focus on having a nice flirty conversation and check her out, scan her for compatibility/traits with what you expect of her in a relationship.

I'll gladly try to help you further but first you need to tell us where exactly your sticking point is.

[Always *]

I know that "your young, you have time" is often wasted words for a lot of people. If you want a girlfriend/boyfriend those words don't help if it's not happening when you want it.

The reality is that I have to wonder what you are trying? Because "trying and trying" can come off as desperation and/or overkill. For example, there is a fine line between being a gentleman,.... And being creepy.... Like I'd have guys who liked me come up and insist on carrying my books and binders for me and it was like "wtf, I have arms I can carry my own shit", I sort of feel like sometimes guys go overboard trying to impress girls and, for me at least, it can be really off putting. It's hard when you're young to experience where the fine line is because you don't want to freak out thinking "oh god, is this girl right? am I doing things that actually are not attractive to girls in potential boyfriends?" and go away intending to be super subtle. The nice thing about being young is that you can take the time to experiment with different things, find out how to talk to girls how works for you.

And what is most important is not to just try to pick up any ol' cute girl. Take the time to get to know her and se if you really like her instead of locking you're fingers in determined to get her to fall for you the second you decide she's cute, take your time to get to know her and all that, it'll give her the time to get to know you soon so you can both see what the other has to offer. PLUS relationships usually build up over time, start small, casual subtle flirting, showing an interest in talking to her etc., ask her out for lunch and so on, then add more things on until it's relationship time. I had guys who were SO creepy in their attempts, like this guy I had 0 interest in so I had already friend-zoned him (which isn't a bad place to be in my books), but one day he's texting me saying how one of the first times he saw me he thought I looked like an angel and that he wanted to know if I thought he was attractive too (erm... definitely not) and was just saying all this other shit that was super awkward for me, like he was convinced that I had to have some weird motive to have texted him that morning (aka that i liked him) as opposed to the fact that I merely felt like saying hi and catching up cause, well, he's an ok enough guy and we hadn't talked since he left the place we worked at about a month earlier, and when I confirmed that I was doing was texting to say hi, to catch up and see how summer school was going for him it was like he didn't believe me... It was SO awkward for me...

So like I said, there is a fine line between flattery and being a gentlemen and between being awkward, creepy and going overboard. All you can really do is learn from your experiences, and even reading dating magazines and websites (is there a male equivalent of seventeen and cosmopolitan?, you could also reasonably discreetly buy those 2 magazines if you want to go directly to the female perspective, I stress discreetly because you probs don't want other guys bugging you even though it might help... they're both on the internet if that helps).... Eventually you will meet the right girl, but you have to realize it might not happen right away

[PureStorm]

Since magazines, sites and whatnot have been brought up in this thread, I just want to point out that 95% is rubbish. Be wary. If there's anything like pickup lines that get 100% of the chicks, three secret questions to get her wet, being a fake self or a total jerk or (the other extreme) "pedestal nice guy", please close that site/magazine without further reading.
On the other hand, techniques through which you can communicate your natural self while at the same time being attractive to the woman are where you should start reading (still be wary).

Best is to make your own (failure) experiences first, then check out GOOD advices which effectiveness' are proven infield, and then it will click for you and you will become much better.

[Always *]

What weirdo magazines are you reading??? I mean, the ones I read you gotta take with a grain of salt but most of the stuff isn't total rubbish (some of it is a little ridiculous but I wouldn't totally discount it). I'd be the first to admit that half the time it's like "ok, I'd never do that in a million years", but you can easily tailor the suggestions to fit your style, the idea is more or less just to get a broader range of ideas for what's out there, I think women's magazines are a little less crass then ones for men cause women tend to want to hear about the romantic stuff, like date ideas and such versus the best ways to get a girl hot (well, that'd be a guy for most females)... And technically magazines were just one suggestion, not an absolute requirement, because it can help to consult other places while trying to look into your own experiences if you don't know exactly how to change your own experiences to be "better" (for a lack of better words)...... But yeah, definitely look for other sources, magazines shouldn't be your #1 source simply cause it's the one I have suggested here, it's just the one I have thought of first with the easiest to explain

[Emileenicolee]

I agree that you should slow down because a lot of people end up 'finding' people to date, when they least expect it. Don't force it on yourself and just talk to people, get to know some girls, become friends and see where it goes from there.

[PureStorm]

Originally Posted by ~Wallflower~

What weirdo magazines are you reading??? I mean, the ones I read you gotta take with a grain of salt but most of the stuff isn't total rubbish (some of it is a little ridiculous but I wouldn't totally discount it). I'd be the first to admit that half the time it's like "ok, I'd never do that in a million years", but you can easily tailor the suggestions to fit your style, the idea is more or less just to get a broader range of ideas for what's out there, I think women's magazines are a little less crass then ones for men cause women tend to want to hear about the romantic stuff, like date ideas and such versus the best ways to get a girl hot (well, that'd be a guy for most females)... And technically magazines were just one suggestion, not an absolute requirement, because it can help to consult other places while trying to look into your own experiences if you don't know exactly how to change your own experiences to be "better" (for a lack of better words)...... But yeah, definitely look for other sources, magazines shouldn't be your #1 source simply cause it's the one I have suggested here, it's just the one I have thought of first with the easiest to explain

The good ones that advise men on their way. A thing women don't have to even think about, because they get dates left and right (if they want) even if they're average looking and expect men to do all the work. Like I said, I skip the rubbish ones - they're blatant rubbish - but some men can't see that because they're so desperate.
I like how Toy attempts to take that matter in his own hands. Some men are so unlucky that "dates come when you least expect it" doesn't count -- or really when you least expect it, cause you've given up at 50.

[Doodle.]

Originally Posted by Emileenicolee

I agree that you should slow down because a lot of people end up 'finding' people to date, when they least expect it. Don't force it on yourself and just talk to people, get to know some girls, become friends and see where it goes from there.

Completely agree. When I was looking for a relationship I never come close. When I wasn't I met my boyfriend Don't force it to happen. Wait until a nice surprise comes along

[Emileenicolee]

Originally Posted by PureStorm

The good ones that advise men on their way. A thing women don't have to even think about, because they get dates left and right (if they want) even if they're average looking and expect men to do all the work. Like I said, I skip the rubbish ones - they're blatant rubbish - but some men can't see that because they're so desperate.
I like how Toy attempts to take that matter in his own hands. Some men are so unlucky that "dates come when you least expect it" doesn't count -- or really when you least expect it, cause you've given up at 50.

I don't think that feeling bad about it helps any guy though. And generalizing an entire gender isn't fair because that's like saying a girl has never asked a guy out ever and I'm sure plenty have, I know I have. and I for one don't want them to do all the work? And plenty of women level out unlucky too.

But even that's off topic because confidence does help and if men expect women to be confident and not constantly dog on themselves, then it shouldn't be a complete negative for women to want that same comfort.
I think Toy should just be himself and I know that's a generic form of phrase but no one gets anywhere being miserable and it is good he's taking matters into his own hands, because if he feels ready to date, then he should date.

[Lelola]

Well, my advice to everyone is to wait till they can legally drive and have a job. Yes having a girlfriend is nice and all, but it seems like most early high school relationships aren't true relationships.

One thing to keep in mind is to keep yourself interested and involved in a variety of activities. I recommend getting a job when you can legally get a job, be involved in some sort of physical activity whether it is a sport, martial art, or etc, and some sort of club. That way you can meet people. A lot of people who start out dating actually date people they meet through their work and not their job.

Another thing is to be happy with yourself. It is easier said than done. When I was happy with myself and content to be single, then I had people who wanted to date me and be in a relationship with me. On some level, people can sense desperation. If they think you want a relationship, then they do not necessarily want a relationship with you. When I look for guys, I look for guys who can complement my better half and I complement them. The guys desperate for a relationship are unappealing. Also, I want guys that have things going on for them and are active. I am a firefighter, work full-time, go to school full-time, and do martial arts. If the person is needy and wants me to make them feel better than that is unappealing to me. I also want someone who is independent and can do their own thing. My boyfriend has his own interests like working on the motorcycles/cars, building things, working on the house, his job, fishing, etc.

Confidence and being interesting go a lot farther than just wanting a relationship.

[Cassie999]

some of the nicest guys with the sweetest hearts don't have girlfriends unitl college etc. Talk to the girls. You don't need to make any moves on them because it might make you nervous. Just have casual talk. About yesterday's homework assignment maybe, or tomorrow's test, Make her laugh! Be yourself though. If you try to be something you're not, it's Very easy to detect.
Keep in mind! Girls don't go to the guys. Guys go to the girls.
If you want a girlfriend, don't wait around for someone. Go out there and do your thing. (:
Hope this helps!