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shazi Offline
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Unhappy In an awful situation,need some good advice - December 9th 2013, 06:22 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Ok its really complicated but i'll try to keep it as short as possible
I know what i did was terrible but i had no other option.I had been in a serious relationship with the perfect guy for 5 years the kind of guy who would literally do anything for me,but we rarely met our relationship was basically on phone in the period of this 5 years we dated only THRICE because we live in a society where keeping such relationships is not allowed moreover my family didn't allow me go out much .About a year ago i entered university so i could go where ever i please.I wanted to meet him,date him,do everything with him we had never even kissed i don't know why he just made excuses everytime i wanted to go out it was getting out of my control i couldn't take it much longer i had waited more than 5 years i just couldn't take it anymore.
A senior guy in my university in his final year who showed interest he wanted to date me i hadn't told him i had a boyfriend he made it clear though that he didn't want a serious relationship because his family only cousins could intermarry.I agreed i didn't want a serious relationship either i had a boyfriend so i dated the other guy for over 6 months it was the greatest time of my life but something happened that i did not expect .I fell for him completely i he was charming and handsome more than my boyfriend i told him how i felt but i knew the answer too he didn't love me back he liked me cared for me too but just didn't feel the same way i did on the other hand i couldn't afford to leave my boyfriend and tell him the truth because if i lose him i know i can never find anyone who would love me the way he does he completely crazy about me and has even told his whole family about me. He wants to get engaged in a year or two.
I tried to leave the other guy believe me i did but everytime i said this to him he got mad and said that neither of us are in a relationship so it doesn't matter. I couldn't tell him the truth either. I told him that i would continue to see him on only one condition if he would block me and does not ever contact me after this temporary relationship is over. He didn't like it at first he wanted to remain friends after he left but after knowing what i felt for him he felt sorry and thought it was best for me to end all kinds of contact with me. He kept telling me to get over him because he can't afford to love me back and find the right guy after he left.
Now it has been 2 weeks, he left, blocked me from facebook and also my number it has been hell for me i want to forget him get over him i have a guy who is willing to rip his heart out for me who has been with me for 5 years in every sort of problem who has always considered my happiness as his first priority i do love him not as much as i love the guy who doesn't love me back whom i just met 6 months ago i think about him all the time now cry for the whole night missing him so much whenever i kiss my boyfriend his face flashes before my eyes and my heart just shatters i know my boyfriend doesn't deserve me he is too good to be with me i don't even love him the same way i did before i am in a huge mess i try everyday to forget him and wait that someday he might contact me again. I can't even see him now he has graduated what am i supposed to do? if i leave my boyfriend i know i'll never ever not in a million years find a guy who would love me the way he does but i just can't stop loving my senior its not the same with my boyfriend anymore. He is really worried about my certain mood swings everytime i see him i get upset it's mostly guilt now. yes i am afraid of getting dumped but my biggest concern is not that. If i tell him the truth he will never be the same person anymore and i don't want to do this to him what should i do tell me please
   
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Re: In an awful situation,need some good advice - December 10th 2013, 10:58 AM

I guess first of all you should accept that you have closed all doors of going back to the other guy whom you love. You said that you love your bf but not as much as the other guy. The only way you can love him more is if you tell him the complete truth. Otherwise in your subconscious mind you'll keep thinking that you are cheating on him. As you have shared all the details here and I can understand everything, I am sure he will also understand. If he truly loves you, he will forgive you. After you've cleared this burden of your head, things will become better considerably. It might not happen at once, but it will definitely happen. No need to rush it. Think calmly about the bes way to break this to him and do it.
All the Best!!
   
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Re: In an awful situation,need some good advice - December 10th 2013, 11:16 AM

thank u that helped
   
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