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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.
cant be with my girlfriend because of my dad -
February 22nd 2014, 07:23 PM
I have been with my girlfriend for eight months we have recently broke up one month ago. everything was fine until my dad started disliking my girlfriends mom and started saying that she was crazy and did not like her eventually it led to me not being able to go over and her not being able to come over and my girlfriend did not like going out that often... And after all it was pretty hard for us to be together so she later on broke up with me. I know that she still loves me and I know that I still love her but with my dad in the picture I cant date her... i already tryed talking to my dad I thousand times but it doesn't work... I don't know what to do please help me what should I do?? The worst part is that we go to the same school,in the same class and that she has been suicidal for a little bit, she has been through so much and lost her father at a very young age has cut contact with more than half of her family. our relationship was perfect until my father started intervening he started putting curfews started taking my phone away when he saw me talking to her and then eventually didnt let me go over her house which is the only way I could see her out of school. I really want to get back with her and she really wants to get back with me but we can be together with my father in the picture please help me out
Re: cant be with my girlfriend because of my dad -
February 24th 2014, 12:48 PM
Its hard to know what to do without knowing more unfortunately, is there any chance you and your girlfriend could meet up some place thats neither house, if you talked to her you could still hang out at school, until your dad sorts out his issues. it sounds alot like you really like her, and that she might need someone like you to be close to since she cant connect with her family anymore. hopefully your dad comes around, and can tell give you reasons why he doesn't want you to see her, and you could work something out, work around his issues. All the best, you have the best chance of fixing this, is you want this, you will find a way, be strong. if it lasts long enough, you might have your license soon, which will help. sorry i couldn't help more
Re: cant be with my girlfriend because of my dad -
February 24th 2014, 08:26 PM
Hello, and welcome to TeenHelp!
Many people have strict or difficult parents, and they manage to stay in relationships. It sounds like your girlfriend broke up with you because she couldn't spend time with you outside of school. Maybe I'm not getting the full picture (there could have been other reasons why she broke up with you as well), but based on what you've shared, that's what I'm perceiving.
I know it's not ideal to be limited to "school time" when you're in a relationship... but after taking into account the lunch break (30 minutes?) and mutual extracurricular activities (e.g., joining the same after-school club), that might make staying in a relationship worth it. It's still SOME time Monday through Friday that you can be with your girlfriend. I know some people who are married to members of the military, so they'll go weeks or even MONTHS without seeing their partners. It's possible to maintain a connection when circumstances are less than ideal.
With regard to your father, you may want to check out these two articles on effective communication (1) (2). You may not be able to get everything you want, but with the right approach (e.g., calm voice, willingness to negotiate, respectfully asking for clarification), you may be able to spend SOME time with your girlfriend outside of the normal school schedule. At the very least, it can help improve your relationship with your father and build the foundation for better communication when the two of you have disagreements in the future.
Re: cant be with my girlfriend because of my dad -
February 28th 2014, 06:45 AM
thats pretty sad , but you need to talk to your girlfriend at school and try to tell her its hard for you not talking with her and also about your problems because its the only way , mean while try to convince your dad , its okay if he doesnt agree but dont stop keep on insisting if you want to go back to things and stay normal , just keep on insisting him, be strong !