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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Unhappy my mom found out about my boyfriend. what do i do? im 17 years old - May 30th 2014, 05:18 AM

So my boyfriend and i were friends for a long time and then we decided to become more than friends. we're so compatible and I cant honestly say we're in love, we just very much enjoy each other's company. We're both 17 and we attend an academic school, we're not the type to be immature and imprudent about things. Sometimes, he comes over while my mom isnt home and we just make out on the bed and whatnot. We haven't gone very far, yet we still spend a lot of time on the bed. We also take pictures (not inappropriate ones), cute couple pictures and stuff like that. Today my mom found those pictures and now she is freaking out and yelling at me proclaiming her disappointment. What do I do?!?! Pleaaseeee help
                   
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Re: my mom found out about my boyfriend. what do i do? im 17 years old - May 30th 2014, 02:21 PM

I think it's important that you just talk to your mother and find out why she is upset with you seeing this boy. With what you've said, you're not doing anything too much, and you're just having fun with this boy. She may think you're doing all sorts of things, but you should speak to her and clear the air.

When you find out what her problem is, you can try to work through it.



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Re: my mom found out about my boyfriend. what do i do? im 17 years old - June 2nd 2014, 09:47 PM

I agree with taylalatbh, I'd talk to your mom and talk it out. I wish you good luck though. :/ I know things like this may make people freak out and such. But, make sure to explain to her you're not doing anything wrong. It's the way of life. :P

Good luck!



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Re: my mom found out about my boyfriend. what do i do? im 17 years old - June 2nd 2014, 09:59 PM

You sound like you are being reasonable in your relationship! So you don't need to worry about that.
Now, going to be honest here, you probably should have honest with your mom from the get go. Now maybe you had a good reason not to be, but there is a possibility that your mom's anger is partially the outcome of her being hurt that you never confided in her (even if she led you to believe she didn't want you to be dating).
So it's to late to have done that. (just saying so for future reference). Just let her calm down and try to calmly talk to her later (don't tell her you love him though, use things like "I really care for him", declaring you're love will potentially upset her if she thinks you're to young to be in love), any ways, if she calms down it'll be easier to approach the topic, and you can explain why you never told her and stuff.
You're 17 and have a boyfriend, you're doing nothing wrong even by super conservative standards. Ok, so maybe the conservatives would be upset (no interaction between genders seems to be preferable to them when it can be avoided), but that's honestly ridiculous and extreme in this day and age. Any ways, like I said, you are doing nothing wrong. It's not like you are sleeping around (which is debateably risky - I worry about teenagers doing it because I worry about how responsible they'll be and if shit goes wrong, such as pregnancy a teenager is in a tougher position that someone in their 20's). So without reckless behaviour (sex with anyone who moves, drugs, jumping off cliffs, idk, choose your poison!) you're in the right here. But you need to take the time to hear why your mom is upset and respect it (ex. if you hear something you don't like, don't get pissed) and explain your perspective. If things start getting out of control, leave and revisit the conversation.
I hope you can work it out. It'll be ok.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
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Re: my mom found out about my boyfriend. what do i do? im 17 years old - June 5th 2014, 11:34 PM

If you were friends with him before starting a relationship there shouldn't be such a big problem, did your Mum like you being friends with him before?
Clear the air and explain your feelings to your Mum, maybe ask her about the boyfriends and relationships she had when she was your age. Make sure to tell her that you're both being safe and not rushing anything, perhaps spend time outside of your bedroom more often?
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