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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 22nd 2014, 07:08 AM
don't worry too much. i know that things are already improving. She's just having a lot of bad history which translates into her emotional barriers, but they're going down one by one.
just remember that you've always got all of us!
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 22nd 2014, 05:40 PM
She cut last night, first time in a week and half. Not bad though, no blood was spilled. She got rid of the blade today, but I know she has plenty more. She's gone to counciling today, first time in around 2 months, she's getting more help and I feel evermore in love, I just can't let her do this alone.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 24th 2014, 08:01 PM
82 individual cuts in 48 hours, 2 panic attacks probably more today and yesterday, constantly being asked to he left alone, wants to find a way out, making posters on her self harm addiction, drawing pictures of self harm, all this in one week. And I couldn't be more in love, I love her...I'll get her through this
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 25th 2014, 09:50 AM
but i think that you can still help your gf. What's she currently going through? 82 cuts is a lot. Some bad thought is probably causing her sudden spike in SH. But what i do know is that you're helping her a lot.
Stay strong. The both of you can make it through this
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 25th 2014, 01:46 PM
Stay strong, both of you, not just her. I know this is hard, but you're right - you can do this. Keep it up man, it's heart warming to see what you're doing for her. PM/VM me if you need a chat bud.
Take care,
~Jack.
PM/VM Me if you need any sort of help, I welcome ANYONE who wants to talk.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 26th 2014, 05:36 AM
Sometimes people resort to smoking and drinking to escape from pressure. but i think that you are stronger than you think you are. things will definitely get better, and i promise you that everyone does that kind of stuff at some moment in their life.
Don't die. I know that you're a really sweet , nice guy. You deserve to live happily with the person you love.
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 27th 2014, 08:05 PM
In the last 3 days, I've cut, gotten drunk and smoked. She's ok, ok day today, but when I get home I feel nothing. I hate my parents! I just feel hurt :/ by everyone
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 27th 2014, 10:30 PM
Hey,
It's really amazing of you to be so supportive of your girlfriend, but please make sure you're taking care of yourself as well. Do you think that the issues your girlfriend has are influencing your urges to self-harm or smoke? If they are, you might benefit from taking a step away from your relationship. Do you know what your triggers are? If not, maybe you can keep a journal or a blog so you can find patterns in what you write. Once you identify your triggers, you can begin to work through them.
If I remember correctly, your parents are aware of your self-harm. It doesn't seem like you're too happy with them at the moment; are you comfortable discussing why? Perhaps you can tell them that you're struggling again when you feel like you're on better terms with them. If you're not comfortable discussing it in public view, feel free to PM me. You can also use HelpLINK and Live Help which are confidential; only the Staff have access.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 29th 2014, 03:09 PM
you can rant to us about your problems anytime... we 'll never judge just don't think about the situation negatively, but also watch over her. a positive mindset is required to overcome this
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 30th 2014, 05:44 PM
I haven't smoked or cut for a couple of days, but I'm suspecting I'm Bipolar, I'm sorry this thread has sorta become about me. There are times where I can be sky high, and I feel nothing can stop me and I'll be the most talkative and hyper person on the planet, then something happens, big or small but I sink and I hit rock bottom, THE BOTTOM. And that's how I feel now, since Monday, Tuesday I hardly talked, because I had my phone taken from me, Wednesday, I was able to talk to her because my parents were out and today I was planning on seeing her and she said she couldn't leave the area for my place, so my supposed Bipolar disorder kicks in and I feel shitty now.
I just feel I've had enough
I wouldn't consider my self harm bad, it's not really self harm, I think it's my attempt at dying but it's put under the self harm label, they're suicide attempts, and my parents are the reason. They don't understand the importance of life. Emma means the world to me, despite all she puts me through. And without my phone, being unable to contact her in her hour of need, kills me. She's was triggered on Tuesday when we wasn't able to talk and in tears yesterday when we couldn't talk.
Ugh, I feel bad, I feel week, I can't help her, there's no helping her, but still I Carry on...
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 30th 2014, 06:41 PM
I think you should only worry about yourself for a little while. But if talking to her helps you, perhaps you can try other methods of communication such as email. And don't worry about the direction the thread is taking, this is your thread and you can talk about whatever you'd like to. It's good that you haven't smoked or cut for a few days! Every second is an achievement. This thread may give you some clarification on the different forms of self-harm if you'd like to check it out. If you have attempted suicide recently or are in danger of doing so, reach out to someone as soon as possible so you can get the help that you need.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
October 30th 2014, 06:50 PM
Ugh -_- as I said in a post earlier, we planned to spend the day together but certain circumstances made her unable to come. She was sorry, I felt shitty, but at least I saw her, and now I feel a bit more in love with her she was triggered earlier, I think she's ok now, she's baking 30 mins ago she was trying to unscrew a sharpner blade :/ but she's ok
My parents made her dinner, and although I've told them she self harms, they want her to make her feel guilty for using and wasting our 'resources'
NO she self harms, we're meant to make her feel good!
I LOVE HER
Last edited by ElectricWizard; October 31st 2014 at 12:45 AM.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 2nd 2014, 09:08 AM
Doubt she will talk to me after I made her sleep last night, she doesn't want the nightmares given to her. I don't know right or wrong, whether she slept or not, it doesn't really matter, it's the dreams that matter, and they're probably the one think I will never get rid of or be able to combat. Did I do right or wrong? I kinda nagged her to sleep, and her dad does to and many other people. She does sleep at times, but vary rarely. I feel bad anyways, I'm a bit of a relationship noob so I'm scared she'll leave me, because she's just completely unpredictable...I got this lovely card from her in the post and it made me happy! I wasn't expecting it! It told me how she cared about me and I'm always there and stuff, even though I feel weak at times, I just need to keep strong for her...
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 3rd 2014, 03:10 PM
dont worry too much and i think that you're much stronger than you think you are. Don't blame yourself in any way. Thinking about this issue just shows that you're a good boyfriend who cares about your girlfriend. be proud of yourself!
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 4th 2014, 09:43 PM
It's annoying me how people are telling me how she's 'clinically depressed' and all that bullshit. Of course it's true, but I don't need to be reminded about it. It's actually nice to think she's happy. She cut tonight, and yesterday and probably every other day. I was told I was one of the only people keeping her on this earth and I can't throw it away, I can't throw it away! I'm her lifeline, and it's scaring me! I can't fuck up! She's not sleeping! She's not eating! I have a exam tomorrow and everything is crashing down on me, I have 2 people in my life who are self harming, and my brother held a knife to his wrist, my 10 year old brother! I'm angry, I'm sad, I have no idea what I'm feeling, but something has changed tonight, I need to hold her and hug her despite all this shit, I love her so much!
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 5th 2014, 03:48 AM
i know that things will get better for her. and i think that no matter what happens, things will get better . You and your brother and her will eventually be able to escape all of the suffering and be happy.
You are one in a million. Not many guys i know are as supportive and as nice as you.
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 5th 2014, 03:01 PM
Like I've said before, it is wonderful that you're trying to support your girlfriend. Not a lot of people would know how to be supportive in this situation. I know that supporting someone struggling like this (especially when you're struggling similarly) can be draining on you, and you need to take care of yourself before you can help others. You should make sure that your own needs are fulfilled so you can be the best you can be while helping others. You cannot be your girlfriend's only lifeline. She needs other means of support as well, if she doesn't already such as a therapist, counselor, or one of her parents. Perhaps you can encourage her to utilize the links that we have provided to you in this thread.
As for your brother, it would probably be in good interest to tell your parents about what he's going through so he can get the help that he needs.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 5th 2014, 06:55 PM
My brother is nothing to worry about, he's naive, copies me, he hasn't seen me self harm, but he has seem me in states, with cuts on my arms and stuff. He'd never do it, and I'd never let him.
My girlfriend's friend cut herself, and I'm close to her so I'm figuring ill help her too! Emma's mom is going to Ireland this month :/ despite what she does, I think she still loves her
She's triggered now. That's all I hear, and, I don't know the word, but I feel I've had enough :/ it's our 5th anniversary on Sunday, I'm scared I can't make it till then...
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 6th 2014, 04:18 AM
you can overcome all of this. Things can be tough at times. And to be honest, i think that all this harming is a coping method to deal with all the stuff you're going through. But there are better, harmless ways.
I'll always be here. You can make it through this.
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 6th 2014, 06:38 PM
Thank you all for the support! I'm feeling love again ahah! I love her so much staying strong, I'll alway be there for her, thank you all for helping me and her through this! You guys mean the world to me! And so does she!
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 7th 2014, 08:00 PM
I can't control her :/
Tomorrow she's meeting up with some fucking prick to drink and smoke, she sai she won't smoke, as I told her I didn't like the idea, so shes getting some vapour, I don't think she will get vapour though, no such thing as trust.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 7th 2014, 11:48 PM
You're right, you can't control her; no one can. Only she can control herself, and she has to make the choice to seek help to take steps to see better days. As harsh as it may sound, she is in control and thus she is responsible for herself and her actions.
It is nice that you want to help her, but I think the both of you would benefit from seeking help from an adult or a professional who can help in your situation.
If clarity's in death, then why won't this die?
Years of tearing down our banners, you and I
Living for the thrill of hitting you where it hurts Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 8th 2014, 07:16 PM
i think that sometimes, you just gotta give her some freedom because she's went through a lot. Just make sure that she doesn't do anything physically harmful.
just relax, and remember that you'll be able to overcome this no matter how it turns out. You are strong. You are reliable. I believe in you
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 9th 2014, 12:26 AM
So something completely new to me happened tonight.
I got a call from her, she's at a friends house, ands she's still drunk, but they're apparently all going to bed now. About 10 minutes ago, she rang me up, I've spoken to her on the phone 12 times, but this one hit me. I told her I was bipolar, or supposedly, I want to get myself checked out, but she rings me and tells me she loves me over and over and over, and she started to cry and I did have a shakey voice...but that was the first time I've heard her cry, and I'm choking up as I write this, but I've never had a moment like that. I'm not an easily convinced person, but I think tonight convinced me, and I love her so much, we were just on the phone for 20 minutes saying we love each other and ill never leave and I'll always be there. Of course, it could of been the alcohol :/
Her friend who I just happen to hate took her blade away. I'm glad he did so. I love her so much and I feel pain I feel her pain....
I said to her 'I love you, and I want you forever
I need to keep my game up, so I can hold her forever
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 9th 2014, 07:07 AM
i told you she loves you.
she's just someone who has went through a lot. And like i said before, stuff like alcohol and smoking are some of the escape paths people use when they're going through a lot of shit.
trust me, you deserve her.
It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.
Re: My girlfriend self harms -
November 9th 2014, 03:30 PM
Thank you all
She was telling me she'll be ok soon, I'm convinced she will, I promise she will
I have repercussions from last night but I deal with them, I've told her what I feel about it and she's sorry and I keep saying its ok to everything hehe!
The smoking and the alcohol was used exactly as a release. She's been given mood elevators which cause suicidal side effects :/ I don't know if it's true.
And we've been together for 5 months and I'm happy, because this is yet another crucial point we have passed together. We were talking about our future. What we'd do in 50 years, Our dog were going to name Kurt and the last one, far more personal Lets just say umm...children! Not just yet though! Too early! And one thing that really touched me, she said 'babe, you know that bit in the titanic where the two old people are one the bed and the water is rising? That's us.' And it made me think, she does love me despite what she does and I really do love her, no matter what, I can't describe my love for her! Conquers all!