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Unhappy Hardest breakup possible - HELP - February 8th 2015, 01:07 PM

So, I have a problem... Recently I've found out that after a few long months I was cat fished. And I didn't take it well because I fell in love with the person but also with the picture. I contacted the real girl but she has her own life and her own boyfriend so I didn't bother ruining her upcoming valentine's. Currently I am left alone, with no help and extremely heartbroken as I am still in love with the made up person and the real girl's looks.
How can one get over this breakup?

*What does being cat fished mean?*
It means that you were lied to in a way, when someone cat fishes you it means that they have stolen someone's identity online and are using it to get to you, for example you meet a cute guy but it turns out it was somebody else who just wants to hurt you and mess with you.
   
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Re: Hardest breakup possible - HELP - February 8th 2015, 02:56 PM

Hey there,

I can understand why you're upset right now, you were speaking to someone and you were under the impression that this girl was who she said she was. As difficult as it is you need to move on. Yes this hurts, but there are plenty of nice, decent people out there who I am sure would appreciate someone like you. What happened wasn't nice, but just put it down to experience and move on from it.

I wish you the best of luck and I'm here any time you'd like to speak to someone.
Paige


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Garyl Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Hardest breakup possible - HELP - February 8th 2015, 07:44 PM

That's a very painful situation to be in, and I'm sorry you had to experience that. But unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do in this situation except look forward. The person you fell in love with was a fabrication and the person whose picture you were attracted to has her own life. It may be very hard to accept, but it's not really possible to get good closure in this situation. The best you can do at this point is learn what you can from the experience and move on. Fill your life with things that take up your time; friends, hobbies, family, volunteering. If you're in school perhaps join a club, something to take your mind off of what happened. Find things in your life that give you a sense of purpose and fulfillment. Surround yourself with people who are supportive. It will be hard, but in time you will find the pain grows less and less as you have other positive things in your life.


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Re: Hardest breakup possible - HELP - February 8th 2015, 11:21 PM

People "catfishing" you, doesn't always mean they intend to hurt you. I've been catfished about 3 times now, but not out of hurt.
The first time, was by someone who found me so attractive that he felt as if I'd never date him if I saw the real him.
The second time was by a younger female who was afraid of getting picked on by older people.
The third time was by someone that I'm still involved with, and this is the one that I'll tell you about.

I've never considered myself "straight" when it came to sexuality. I'd say it, but never really felt it. I met her online, but this girl was in the form of a boy. She convinced me and several others that she was a guy for nearly 3 years. One day, the subject came up and she told me she had a secret. I already had guessed that this "he" was a "she", but seeing it put me in some type of shock. Now here is the thing, we had a romance going on, and I loved her dearly. The only thing that was different about her was her gender, not who she was, and that's TRULY the person that I had fallen in love with. So I said, forget it, I love her. I never considered myself truly straight anyway, so oh well.

Here's my point. Understand that you never really fall in love with how someone looks. You fall in love with the personality, with character, but never really the looks. You two should talk about it, and you should find out her true intentions. In my case, this girl was at first playing around, but it got so deep that she kept it going because she thought that if she told me she'd lose me, when in all honesty, I couldn't have cared less about her gender. Now, my love for her is greater than it ever was before.

So talk about it before making any drastic decisions. Some people choose to leave "catfish" alone, because they lie about their looks, and trust is destroyed. But I'd rather find out why, and make my decision from the explanation given. Trust me, you won't regret it.

Take Care hun .


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