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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Breakup stuff. - October 4th 2015, 06:52 PM

So, first thing's first. I'm in my second year of college. I've dated twice in college so far.
The first guy was horrible. He is a terrible guy, I know that now. Anger issues, passive-aggressiveness, jealousy, rage in the truest form...and lastly, ruining my name after the breakup. The worst things you can imagine, he said everything.
He had wanted us to have sex on the first date, and I was really not comfortable with that. I can't give so much of myself to someone unless I have complete 110% trust in them. So he'd let it be then.
Then he went around saying he'd never want to have sex with me.

It wasn't a very long relationship, but it still took me time to get over it. (I didn't know he was a dick then)
While pretending to be my friend, he started spreading shit about me around college.
But it's alright now. I've started liking college, and it's all over.

Then came the second guy. He's a sweetheart, truly. We had a two-month relationship. He changed colleges and is now in a different state, so it was long distance. It was hard, he was quite moody from time to time.
We broke up a few days ago. And though I really feel we can be friends in the long run, which is what we have decided, it's still hard dealing with this.
It's nothing major. I just wanted some help dealing with this.
I've been hurt before, in the long run I know I'll get over it. It's just my tomorrow and my day-after that I want someone to help me with.


Don't judge me because I sin differently from you.
   
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Re: Breakup stuff. - October 5th 2015, 05:22 AM

Even if you plan on becoming friends, it's best to not do it now. For the time being, cutting off contact will be the best way to move on. It's going to be tough to not talk to somebody you were close with, but it will get easier each day. Put a little more time into schoolwork even though it's boring. It will keep you preoccupied and feeling productive and on top of the material will help you feel better. I also recommend spending time with friends and family even if you don't feel like going out or just want to be alone. Knowing that you are going to feel better, and being through this before will definitely help too. You want to keep positive and keep reminding yourself that you'll be okay and you won't always be hurting like this. You've had experience dating somebody whose not worth it so you know what to look out for, and you've closed the door with this other guy so that you can open one with somebody even better in the future. There are people out there for you and the hard part is being patient to meet them. Even though I know you're hurting right now since the breakup was recent, try and find reasons to enjoy the present instead of looking to the future when you'll feel better. Get involved in some new activities, try some new crafts, etc. I'm sure you'll be friends with this guy again some day and there's a lot to smile about in the present moment!


And here you are living, despite it all.
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