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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Exclamation Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 12:05 AM

i could use some help my gf is 16 and im 19 and we been fighting alot on and off about 3 times a month during our 2nd months dating weve been talking for 9 months total and im in love with her and shes in love with me we got in a huge fight on last sunday about me and her and i asked what did she want and she said she didnt know i wanted a answer riggt there i said okay take all the time in the world but dont be surprised if im gone when u decide she cried for a hour! so we actually made up that night in person and we had sex and she said she loved me right after it and i didnt reply amshe wanted me to come over the next day so we can talk about us and fix a few things and i said okay i was leaving work in monday she calls me saying that we cant see each other my mom isnt allowing us to see each other and i got soo upset she said i was being possessive and i made her anxious and i that i had people watching her which is sorta true . The reason i had 2 people spy a lil bit i found out from my bestfriend that her bestfriend had a video from September of her letting another kid kissing her neck i talked her bestfriend the video was deleted and she admited to it and i confronted to my girlfriend on sunday . She lied which made the argument a lil rowdy but we calmed down and talked normal. But getting to the poikt she told me her mom didnt want us being together and that we need space and that we arent good for each other any more and i asked if she was breaking up with me on the phone right now she said she didnt want to but her mom is making us break up but she sounded like she was gunna cry and said she had to go.tuesday i showed up to her house and no one was home she tried saying she wasnt home but she finally came to the door and we talked and she said i was her first love and i was the first person she cared about and she said maybe in the futre we could be together again. I asked if we could be together snd go back to what we used to be amd she said she had to talk to her mom and see if thats okay.she texted mr 4 hours later that night saying goodnight i replied the same and i havent talked to her For about 3 days . I called her lastnight crying about my friends being stabbed and she said idk what to say were not together anymore i think you need to get help. She said she needs space i said okay. What do i do i want to go to her house and talk to her mom? Is that a bad idea? Should i give up and say to her im coming by to get my clothes ? I love her so much. But heres a lil update i just got back from her house and she wants to be friends and i wrote her a 3 page letter saying goodbye when i got there she answered the door i asked to talk and she said yes and she said shes not ready for a relationship amd that shes done with this like i want to try and get her back . I understood and said okay fine lets hangout soon and she said ill see, and she and me talked for 30 mins just about everything and we were smiling and laughing and she went to get me to give her a kiss on the cheek i sorta gave her one and then i said could i get one last kiss and she gave me one last kiss and i left . She texted me and i asked her should i leave you alone for some time she said no its fine. Rn im have extreme bad anxiety because i wanther back and my friend got put in the hospital for being stabbed and he might die and i was supposed to be with him 2 days ago when everything went down and i told him nahh i want to stay home because im stressing out about my girlfriend. What doooooo iii dooo about all this i want my girlfriend and if my friend dies im gunna loose it 😫😫😫😩😩😩😩😩😩😩😩
   
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 12:46 AM

I'd worry more about your friend right now. The relationship with your girlfriend is over. Will you two get back together? Maybe, but for right now, I would assume it's over and begin moving on with your life. Your friend was stabbed. He needs you right now, and I would definitely spend some time with him. I'm glad that you and your girlfriend are on good terms, but I would not use the fact that you're communicating as a reason to contact her inappropriately. If she's not ready for a relationship right now, you need to respect that.


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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 01:00 AM

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I'd worry more about your friend right now. The relationship with your girlfriend is over. Will you two get back together? Maybe, but for right now, I would assume it's over and begin moving on with your life. Your friend was stabbed. He needs you right now, and I would definitely spend some time with him. I'm glad that you and your girlfriend are on good terms, but I would not use the fact that you're communicating as a reason to contact her inappropriately. If she's not ready for a relationship right now, you need to respect that.
There has to be some way to get her back i understand
Y friend is hurt but hes on life support rn and isnt waking up so theres not much i can do. Do i stop texting her? Call her every night and talk? Leave her alone completely?
   
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 01:25 AM

I'd at least be there to support his family and see if there's anything you can do to be of help to them.

Ask her the level of communication that she wants. Breakups are not one size fits all; some people stay close friends, others wish to no longer speak. Ask her what she is comfortable with.


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 01:49 AM

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I'd at least be there to support his family and see if there's anything you can do to be of help to them.

Ask her the level of communication that she wants. Breakups are not one size fits all; some people stay close friends, others wish to no longer speak. Ask her what she is comfortable with.
Should i say goodnight and goodmorning to her still? And i found out hes awake i can now sleep ?
   
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 02:48 AM

Ask her whether or not she's comfortable with that. Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy I was no longer dating saying good morning and good night to me unless it was a very particular friendship, but she might be different!

I'm so happy to hear your friend is awake!


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
& the sun said “it hurts to become."
Andrea Gibson, "I Sing The Body Electric; Especially When My Power Is Out"
  Send a message via MSN to Coffee.  
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 11:17 AM

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Ask her whether or not she's comfortable with that. Personally, I wouldn't be comfortable with a guy I was no longer dating saying good morning and good night to me unless it was a very particular friendship, but she might be different!

I'm so happy to hear your friend is awake!
I asked her yesterday when we were talking do i still say goodnight and good morning and she said it would be okay and sje said to me she meant it when i sais i loved you, i said goodnight to her lastnight she responded goodnight chris
Do i say Goodmorning have a good day? Like i really wamt her back . Even if i cant get her back i still want sex from her our sex was amazing i aasked that to her and she said would u give me the full thing like make me cum like u used to and i said of course thats what made it amazing . How do i try and get her to hangout? Domt talk for a few days?
   
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 01:48 PM

Why would she still say yes to sex if she's made it clear (from the sounds of it) that she doesn't want to be with you? I mean, it's interesting she wants to make sure you won't be selfish about it but sleeping with an ex is a terrible idea. It just complicates the process of moving on OR getting back together in a meaningful way.




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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 04:21 PM

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Why would she still say yes to sex if she's made it clear (from the sounds of it) that she doesn't want to be with you? I mean, it's interesting she wants to make sure you won't be selfish about it but sleeping with an ex is a terrible idea. It just complicates the process of moving on OR getting back together in a meaningful way.
Did you get my Pm?
   
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 06:00 PM

I think that you should be with your friend right now as they need you more than ever. Your girlfriend should understand that if you tell her that you love as much as you have ever done.

I can understand why you feel stressed about it and that is perfectly normal. What happened is horrid and I feel so sorry for you and especially your friend who had to go through that.

I don't want to sound like everyone else but if you ever want to PM me then you can, I will listen to you and help you in as many ways that I can

Take care and I wish your friend a speedy recovery


David Armes

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keep positive
   
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 9th 2015, 08:39 PM

If she doesn't reply to your text, then she doesn't reply. I don't reply to 90% of texts I receive. You asked if you could send her a good morning text, but that doesn't mean she has to reply to it.

I'd clarify with her on the sex. Her first message sounded pretty clear that she was not interested in a romantic/sexual relationship with you right now, and if you had mentioned sex, she may have only agreed it to appease you. Ask her what SHE WANTS out of your future friendship with her. If she wants a friends with benefits relationship where you two are not in a committed relationship but continue having sex, that's her choice, but make sure she's actually the one choosing it. It doesn't particularly matter if you want to continue your relationship with her. While it's good you've communicated that to her so that she's aware of your feelings, ultimately, if she doesn't want a relationship with you back, then you need to move on.

I agree with others when I say that I think supporting your friend in the hospital a better use of your time right now then trying to translate your ex's text messages. He's the one dealing with the recent injury, so be there for him.


I said to the sun, "Tell me about the big bang"
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Re: Someone please give me answers - November 10th 2015, 12:39 AM

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I agree with others when I say that I think supporting your friend in the hospital a better use of your time right now then trying to translate your ex's text messages. He's the one dealing with the recent injury, so be there for him.
This! I should have touched on that too but I was limited in my time here earlier. I totally agree. You really should spend time with your friend to help him out in this difficult time for him.




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