TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts Chat Room

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Rate Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Gaomory Offline
I'm dead inside
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Gaomory's Avatar
 
Name: Emory
Age: 21
Gender: Genderfluid

Posts: 3
Join Date: May 2nd 2016

Unhappy I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.. - May 2nd 2016, 05:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I didn't know where else to go..or if anyone even cares for that matter..but uh..hi.
I don't really know how to put this without it coming out wrong and not how I need it to sound, so I suppose I'll just say it and hope someone knows what's up...
Well..back inbetween my 8th grade and 9th grade years, I was in a relationship with someone..we'll call him Tom. Tom abused me in ways I don't want to go in to..but it was damage I thought maybe I could get over. My mother never believed me about what happened and so I haven't gotten to speak to a therapist or anyone, hence why I'm here now as a junior in high school...because I realized..I realized there may be something wrong with me..
You see, this is the year I met someone who has really started to change me. He makes me smile and he's amazing and supportive and he knows what happened and he doesn't care the baggage I carry. And that's amazing. But..while I happily tell him I love him, I realized..I don't really remember what that feels like..I realized he intrigued me because with everyone it was easy to gauge how I should respond and it made evaluate that most people don't exactly think like that. Or at least, that's what I was told. And with him, I never know how he's going to react and it's just different. But..I've never felt that warmth you get from love. He says he loves me, but in the end, I find I just can't really..I don't know, fathom that he's being honest? It doesn't feel like I'm actually in a relationship with someone. I mean, we kiss and we spend time together, and he accepts me for who I am, and it's amazing..but..I just can't shake this fear. It feels like everything could fall apart and it's mostly because I feel like I've lost some part of me...like I lost the part of myself that feels things like love and happiness. I cry and I hurt..I get angry...but I can't remember what the warmth of happiness is like...I feel like all of my energy is going toward pretending I know what it's like..
Is there something wrong with me..? Is this normal....? I need...I need something...or someone to reassure me I'm okay...please help me..
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount30
Guest
 
DeletedAccount30's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Re: I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.. - May 2nd 2016, 05:32 AM

Hey!

Welcome to TeenHelp! I hope you enjoy your stay here and receive the help and support you need.

I'm sorry you've been through all that. You definitely deserve much better than this. First things first, nobody here will judge you. You don't have to worry about it coming out wrong. Be free and open, say what you feel comfortable saying. It's all okay. We understand, because we've been on your end many times before.

I'm sorry for what Tom did to you, that was cruel. :/ It seems to me that you need help and support. I understand that you can't speak to a therapist because your mom doesn't believe you, (I'm sorry about that, is there any way to convince her? What about your dad?) do you have a school counselor or an elder you can trust? It helps to talk about what happened to you, please don't keep it trapped inside you. Talk to someone you can trust and confide in them. Hopefully, they'll be able to help you but if not, it's okay because just talking about it will help you feel better too.

I'm glad you found someone much better who makes you feel amazing! I understand your fear, it's completely normal to feel that way considering what you've been through. Do you think you can trust him with what happened? If you feel comfortable doing so, I would suggest you talk to him about your fear. Be open with him and let him know how you feel because communication is the key to a great relationship. He seems like a pretty nice guy and I'm sure he'll understand.

I know it doesn't feel that way right now, but you do deserve to feel happy and this will all pass. What you're going through right now is not permanent. It will pass. You just need the right support. Find someone you can confide in. It's going to be okay. I promise.

Again, there's absolutely nothing wrong with you. It is completely normal to feel this way after being abused. All abuse victims fear being abused again and thus tend to fear intimate relationships. Being abused can make you feel like you don't know what real love feels like, because someone you thought you loved betrayed you and hurt you.

I really think you should talk to a counselor or therapist, is there really no way you can make that happen?

I hope this helps a bit. Please take care! It's all going to be okay.

Good Luck!
See you around.
Love. - xx
   
1 user(s) liked this post or found it helpful.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Gaomory Offline
I'm dead inside
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Gaomory's Avatar
 
Name: Emory
Age: 21
Gender: Genderfluid

Posts: 3
Join Date: May 2nd 2016

Re: I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.. - May 2nd 2016, 05:38 AM

That honestly makes ms feel so much better..it's been a couple years since it happened and I just don't know how to feel about anything. I've tried for years to convince my mother to take me to a therapist, but she just speaks of how miserable her life was and is. My father isn't exactly in the picture, hasn't been since I was about 4. But really, thank you again. That makes me feel a lot better..
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
DeletedAccount30
Guest
 
DeletedAccount30's Avatar
Edit avatar
 

Posts: n/a

Re: I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.. - May 3rd 2016, 07:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gaomory View Post
That honestly makes ms feel so much better..it's been a couple years since it happened and I just don't know how to feel about anything. I've tried for years to convince my mother to take me to a therapist, but she just speaks of how miserable her life was and is. My father isn't exactly in the picture, hasn't been since I was about 4. But really, thank you again. That makes me feel a lot better..
Hey again!

I'm glad I was of help. Feel free to message me if you need anything! I love seeing a new notification waiting for me when I log in, to be honest. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Don't hesitate to reach out for help to anyone on here or anyone you really trust in real life, all of us are here to help you. Plus, reaching out is in no way a sign of weakness. It's a sign of courage to face your problem and a desire and hope to change and set things right.

Take care!
Love. - xx

P.S. I'm sorry for my late reply.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Idomm12765 Offline
Member
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Idomm12765's Avatar
 
Name: Isabella
Gender: Female

Posts: 1
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: May 14th 2016

Re: I'm not really sure what's wrong with me.. - May 14th 2016, 11:51 PM

I was recently being swxually harassed, I'm 15, and he was 18. Since I deleted the texts proving he forced me to send him nude photos, for obvious reasons I didn't keep them. This however was a mistake, because neither the school nor the police could press charges. And what's more, he did this to my friend too. I have no idea what to do. When I told him to leave me alone, he threatened that if he couldn't be in a relationship with me, it was my fault for the resulting depression. He went so far as to say that he would kill himself if I didn't agree. I was so scared because he was so angry. I'm.a small person, and he is built like a linebacker. The worst part was that I just can't get rid of him, he's on my bus, in the same hallways as me, and has similar friends.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
help me, minor abuse, personality disorder?, wrong

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Rate This Thread
Rate This Thread:

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2021, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints | Mobile

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.