My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

To make a breathtakingly long story short, here's my problem:
-Been dating this girl for six months now
-I love her very much, and plan on spending the rest of our lives together
-She is my first girlfriend; before then I had tryed for many many many years with no luck and it brought me to some dark places (so I can say finding her saved my life)
-She says she is not ready for sex or anything to do with sex (touching breasts, rear, or even kissing anywhere from the bottom of the neck down); we are both virgins
-It seems to be the only reason we argue; we are very happy
-We are on this cycle of me trying to initiate simple intimate physical activity (without the slightest intention of having sex), then she tells me to stop and I really respect her so I do. But then that part of me that wants to be physical gets upset and frustrated, so apparently I get "that look on my face," she says. Then she gets sad because she can't satisfy my needs, and I get upset because I don't seem to have the strength to wait and the last thing I want is to pressure her, etc and etc.
-I really love her, I waited so long for her, and we have discussed it a few times. However, I can't seem to find an outlet. Masturbation has gone down to all but zero; I always think of her and I feel shamed so I don't, yet I can't even touch her really so I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
-I'm a virgin and she is as well, and I know her being her she would let me have sex with someone else; but I obviously want to only be exclusive to her.
-I'm just not sure what to do at this point

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

Eventually when she is ready she will come around. I experience a similar thinf with my bf i get upset bcuz we have been together almost 4 years and still have not had sex but its mostly me thats not ready so it has caused some little fights. It still bothers me but we both know we have more important things to worry about and that its not the biggest deal cuz it will come one day :)

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

Hey there,

It sounds like this is something your girlfriend is not going to budge on any time soon, and why should she. Everyone has the right to say no and not be ready for sex. If this is a problem for you then maybe the two of you aren't going to be compatible. If sex is something you can't wait for the maybe you need to question your future with her.

I wish you the best of luck,
Paige

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

Firstly, six months my feel like a long time to have been in a relationship, but if you're both quite young it may feel too early to be having sex. I had been with my boyfriend for just over a year before we had sex for the first - mainly because I was still underage, but partly because I didn't feel ready.

Secondly, I can kinda relate with your girlfriend - first relationships can be scary. I had two boyfriends before my current boyfriend, one lasted 3 months and the other lasted 8, but neither of them went further than kissing. When I got with my current boyfriend, it was clear that he has a little bit more experience than I had, but not much - he was also still a virgin. However, I'd go over to his house and slowly we'd get further with each other - multiple times I'd stop him from going past what I was comfortable with, so maybe your girlfriend just gets a little nervous and feels like she has to stop? You've just got to remember, if she's said she's not ready, don't push her into it.

As for being together six months, for me that was about how long it took for things to start picking up in the sexual department - like I said, we only had sex after a year, so don't worry about how long it's taking. If it's really bothering you that much maybe she isn't the one for you.

Lastly, I agree with Traci about the masturbation thing - it's normal so I wouldn't worry about it. I know for a fact that my boyfriend does it as sometimes we don't get to see each other for a couple of weeks and he feels like he needs to which isn't a problem. I also know that sometimes he thinks of me while doing, and other times porn will come into the equation, which is also fine.

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

Its impressive you are willing to wait. Hats off to you mate.
I think you're just hormonal. Just keep the willpower up and it'll pass soon enough!
Best of luck

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems
 

As an update to everyone here on my thread, thank you so much for your amazing advice and your respect for me. I appreciate it so much that there are still people out there that have kind hearts and sincere advice.
On the day of us officially being together 6 months, we had our first sexual experiences together, and they have been the most amazing and romantic times of my entire life.
We are still shying away from intercourse for now, which I am completely okay with. I feel my position is to make her feel good and to live out her fantasies.
Thank you guys again very much.

Re: My Girlfriend and I are in love, but my physical wants are causing problems