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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
averagemike Offline
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Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 12:41 AM

Theres this girl that i really liked but she was never interested in me and it broke my heart. anyways iv seen her date other guys including 2 friends from school with 1 she was with for a year. well 3 years later she now likes me. idk what to do i do kinda like her still but i cant get over the 2 guys shes been with cause i know them well. should i be worried about this i dont like the 2 guys and there not my friends anymore.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
The Truth Offline
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 02:27 AM

If they're not your friends anymore, why are you so concerned?

Are you just mainly angry about the fact that she's been with these guys before and you don't like them now? If so, you're just restricting yourself and you shouldn't be. But if you truthfully can't get over it, then don't enter the relationship if you think it will jeopardize it in the future.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 08:42 AM

Just a few words...

Judge not on the past...
Every dawn opens new potential for change and growth...

Give her a chance.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 08:46 AM

IDK...personally, I wouldn't go there...but then again, I'm pretty unforgiving...
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 12:14 PM

If you honestly feel like she is picking you only because you are second choice, there is nothing wrong with just saying no. If she get's upset, then so be it. It was her fault for choosing your ex-friends over you.

If it interests you, maybe if you decide to go out with her, it wouldn't hurt to ask her "Why me?", you know?

In any case, I wish you luck my friend.
Shaun.


Click here to PM me any time, I'm here to help you if you want to talk to someone.

Beware lest you lose the substance, by grasping at the shadow. - The Dog and the Shadow, Aesop
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  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 02:09 PM

Look in your heart and see how you really feel.
If you really want to date this girl then date her, don't let things like her past boyfriends affect you.
However, make sure she's picking you for you, not because she's run out of other guys.
Good luck.
Lou


"Life is pain, anybody that says different is selling something" ~ Fezzik's Mother, The Princess Bride. ♥

"To die, would be an awfully big adventure."~ Peter Pan

"Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many.
Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books.
Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders.
Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations.
But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it."

~ The Buddha

14-04-2010. R.R <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 02:15 PM

If you really do have something for her, I think you should ignore the boyfriend his history and give it a shot. You've can only gain.


Good luck,
Sean
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 14th 2009, 02:17 PM

Well if it's over with these guys then why should it bother you?


   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 15th 2009, 03:18 PM

It's worth giving her a chance and not worrying about the other guys.
   
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 15th 2009, 03:58 PM

Personally I would hit that, and then not get involved, I woulnd't lie to her.

But that's just me. I'm a bit of a bastard when it comes to things like that.

No girl is worth un-needed stress. Honestly, everyone is not as unique as they want to be, sad but true. The more experiance you get with girls the better you can learn this and understand it.

Once upon a time I looked at girls and thought they were all different, but they are not. They are people, and people are not unique. Ever heard the expression "Everyone is special?" well sure, if were all special were all the same, which is not special at all.

As for the old friends another quote for you.
"All is fair in love and war."

It is.

Go for it, hit that, if you want to date her, date her. Don't think about other people. You you you.
   
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 15th 2009, 04:05 PM

I don't think you have anything to lose here. I say go for it. You'll probably regret it later if you don't. Plus, if those guys aren't your friends anymore, why would it matter?

Lets face it, you probably won't end up marrying this girl...I say date her and enjoy the relationship. If it lasts and becomes a great relationship, well, then thats great. If it doesn't, then you can move on, and at least be thankful that you tried.
   
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 15th 2009, 07:50 PM

I say go with it. No use holding a grudge, and you still like her, so what do you have to lose? The older you get the more history the girls you date are going to have. Very few girls practice abstinence, and I mean that sexually and emotionally. All girls have a past and most will have ex-BF that you may or may not know. Who are you to judge them? You have a past, too. If you don't now, you will soon enough.

I say go for it and don't be petty.


Just keep fighting

"You can't sew a stitch with one hand while you're taking it apart."

"If you're going through hell..... keep going."

"There comes a moment in everyone's life when you must choose between resentment and joy. To be free again, joy must mean more to you than vengeance... Forgiveness is the best revenge, because when you forgive, it sets you free."
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 16th 2009, 01:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaymz404 View Post
Personally I would hit that, and then not get involved, I woulnd't lie to her.

But that's just me. I'm a bit of a bastard when it comes to things like that.

No girl is worth un-needed stress. Honestly, everyone is not as unique as they want to be, sad but true. The more experiance you get with girls the better you can learn this and understand it.

Once upon a time I looked at girls and thought they were all different, but they are not. They are people, and people are not unique. Ever heard the expression "Everyone is special?" well sure, if were all special were all the same, which is not special at all.

As for the old friends another quote for you.
"All is fair in love and war."

It is.

Go for it, hit that, if you want to date her, date her. Don't think about other people. You you you.
I know I usually don't agree with him personally but.....yea.....go for it man.

Or you could actually give it a shot if you like her but if its only a physical attraction now.....go with the first one.
   
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 16th 2009, 01:57 PM

If you still care about her, go for it.
If you don't, don't.
That's really all there is to it.
   
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 16th 2009, 02:57 PM

If you aren't friends with the other guy's she's been with I just don't see the problem. If you still like her, go for it. You can't not be with someone because of their past and who they have been out with previously. You'd end up never being with anyone! If they were good mates of yours I'd say stay well away, but they're not so don't miss out on a girl you like for them.
   
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Rosemma Offline
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Re: Help with a girl problem - January 16th 2009, 07:09 PM

You still like her as your thinking about it so much.
Theres no harm in trying and seeing how it goes.
Maybe before talk to her about how you feel about the other guys shes been with.
You might find out something that makes your worries feel a lot better.
   
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