16, Never had a boyfriend

[DisneyGirl]

Normally this hasn't really bothered me. Today my friend and I were talking, I guess I unintentionally must have offended her by something that I said because the next thing was "well at least I've actually had boyfriends, who have you dated? Oh right... no one. My point proven." I just tried to laugh it off but that has been bothering me all night. I'm really quiet and shy which doesn't help, but seriously I don't even think guy has ever taken any interest in me. I've had my fair share of crushes, none of them would ever go for someone like me though. I honestly feel like such a loser... it seems like every single other person at school has had one except for me. Is it bad I'm 16 and still haven't dated anymore? My sister and mom both had "boyfriends" at a much younger age. I don't know, I feel like I'll probably never find anyone honestly

I am 25 years old and have never been in a relationship at all. My friend was gorgeous and never had one till college. It isn't a bad thing. And honestly if you don't like yourself how do you expect someone to like you? That is just how I see it.

[JollyRancher.]

It's okay to not have dated anyone and not to date anyone. Honestly, as long as you are happy, that is the most important thing. A lot of people think that dating means happiness and that doesnt really mean that.

I didnt have a boyfriend until I was 16 turning 17. And honestly it was better to just be by myself. I got hurt by the person and then after that made lots of angry decisions. I wasnt happy. And that was what I needed to be.

So dont worry about dating. As long as you are happy with the way things are, then you are okay.

[Elision]

I can only agree. Your happiness is the only thing that matters when it comes to dating, and if this hasn't bothered you before, then you shouldn't feel shamed by your friends. I only had my first boyfriend was I was sixteen, and actually I wish I hadn't, it didn't go well and I felt too young at the time. It is an entirely personal choice, and sometimes it takes a lot longer to find the right person for you, but that's totally ok. Just make sure youre happy, and thats all you need

[TheAtomicBlade]

Mate its totally OK. I'm 18 and never mind a girlfriend, i've not even had a kiss yet haha.
Don't worry, you've got plenty of time. You'll find the right person soon, and then be wondering why you were worrying

[Always *]

No there's nothing wrong with it. It was unkind of your friend to throw that in your face as an attack instead of maturely telling you that you said X and it upset her. That's just poor conflict resolution right there.

Load of people don't have boyfriends until they're older than 16. One of my best friends is 25 and still never had a boyfriend. My boyfriend was 22 when we started dating and I've been his only girlfriend. I don't think my sister has had a boyfriend either.

Trust me, having a boyfriend can be great. I'm not going to sit here and be like "don't worry, it sucks any ways" but being single is also great; it's so easy to forget that both ways are awesome. Also, you never know if you'll get a boyfriend at 17 or 18 or something, who knows. I wouldn't worry much. Plus, so many high school relationships end, I'm probably really biased because my high school boyfriend was abusive, so I'm not going to be like "don't waste your time", I'm just saying that even if you don't date your for a while, it's ok.

If it bugs you, you could always try asking people out. Via text if it is to hard to do in person lol

[Clarent]

Not at all. Relationships arent something you can just do, like a checklist. Some people have them earlier, others wait, for various reasons. Don't feel bad about it.

[Jess~]

if you believe that no one will ever be interested in you, then yeah, no one will ever be interested in you.
it's amazing how much life really is mind over matter.
there's such a thing as a "self-fulfilling prophecy", in which if you truly believe something will never happen, it probably won't, because you'll subconsciously be dismissing anything related to it.

cool, huh?

likewise, if you remain optimistic and hopeful about something, it gives you a better chance of that thing happening.


listen... this the most real advice i can give you.
dating, sex, all that BS... that's all it is. BS. it's all so overrated at this age. for now, i personally just look at all of it as "practice" for the future, when i'm with someone i actually care about.

but i know that no matter how many people say it's not even worth it in high school, kids are still gonna do what they wanna do, they're still gonna want what they think they want.

SO, i do have to say that if you really do want to go out and seek a boyfriend... that's cool! go do that, and good luck with it!
but if you're searching for a soulmate and you're still insecure and have such low self esteem... you're either going to attract the complete wrong type of guy, or no guy at all.

one statement that has proven itself true time and time again is that "you have to love yourself before someone else can love you."
how are you supposed to show someone how awesome a person you are if you can't even see that for yourself?

for now, i'd recommend just working on yourself more. get to know yourself and find characteristics about you that you think make you great.
make a list of pros and cons, and work on those cons to better yourself.

one good question a teacher posed in class the other day was "why should somebody date you? what can you offer that would make them want to date you?"
and if your answer is "nothing, they won't want to date me", then yeah, you need to work on your self esteem, your self worth, and developing your personality more before you should even think about getting a boyfriend.

[Dawn.]

I was in my first serious relationship when I was 19 but only 'dated' when I was 16. It's totally normal not to have had a boyfriend when you're 16.

Date when YOU'RE ready because it's so much better when you do.