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Unhappy Sex crazy boyfriend - April 13th 2017, 06:10 PM

So my boyfriend of years now..
We've been together for a long time. For the first 3 years, our relationship was totally non sexual. Nothing at all. No sexting. No nudes. No feeling each other up. And then slowly we started exploring things. So it's been a year now since we started sleeping with each other. We have sex a lot. Like A LOT. Used to be fun. But off late, all we ever do is be sexual, him more so and I try to refrain from it. I've talked about this to him. He said he knows that its not very nice of him to always feel me up and try to fuck me when I'm not really in the mood but he just can't resist me and I've always let him do what he wants to me whether I want it or not. But now I can't do it anymore because I'm starting to feel like an object? I know he genuinely loves me but this part of him sucks... I hate it. Last time we met, he tried everything he could to seduce me and make ke wanna do it but I was firm and he kind of got upset.

I've also been feeling hurt for a lot of other things he's been doing and this doesn't really help.
   
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Re: Sex crazy boyfriend - April 14th 2017, 01:15 AM

I think if your boyfriend won't respect your boundaries, you need to walk away in those situations. You need to make it clear that his behaviour and persistence in wanting to have sex all the time makes you feel objectified and degraded when you want your relationship to be about more than just having sex. If he keeps persisting, you need to say "no, I mean it, and if you're not willing to back up, I'm going to go away" and literally get up and walk away from him. If he still won't back off, go home if you're at his place if you have to, tell him to leave your home, etc. Don't let him treat you that way, it's not ok. I don't care how high his sex drive is, that doesn't give him an excuse to take away your consent and your desire in the process, and you have to use your voice and your power to assert yourself ok! My ex was like this, but in someways worse (he was very manipulative and it got to the point that I had to accept he was abusive). Even years later it is still hard for me to assert myself in my relationship (with a different guy) but it's so important to do so in these sorts of circumstances. Just remember that he's doing this though, not you, he won't respect the need to find a balance in your relationship where both of you are comfortable with the sex. He won't rein it in and meet you half way, and unfortunately you're going to have to be the one to assert yourself and set up boundaries. I hope it'll work out. But remember you deserve to be treated well.




Feel free to PM me if you ever need to chat or have questions
   
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Re: Sex crazy boyfriend - April 14th 2017, 04:30 AM

I agree with Always and also you can do things like hang out in groups or out in public. But you guys need to set boundaries because that will be healthiest thing for you two.
   
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Re: Sex crazy boyfriend - April 14th 2017, 04:39 AM

I hope he understands. He does happen to be one of my best friends and I would hate to lose him. I hate this but I think I will do what Always said.
Thanks u guys
   
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Re: Sex crazy boyfriend - April 14th 2017, 07:25 AM

True intimacy is focusing on both your needs/wants/desires and the other person's needs/wants/desires. Each person should do both.

It sounds like your boyfriend is only focusing on his own needs/wants/desires.

That, as you are experiencing, is a recipe for an unhappy unfulfilling relationship.
   
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