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Unhappy I don't know how to feel about this? - July 16th 2017, 11:20 PM

Hi guys,

I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We've been having sex for a year, perhaps 18 months, and we are very, very careful and sensible when it comes to birth control. However, even though we are very careful, I know there is still a chance that I could get pregnant, although it is unlikely, it could still happen. I decided to talk to my boyfriend about this; about what our plan would be if anything were to happen. I started by asking him what he would feel and what he would personally want to do if I did fall pregnant. He responded by saying that being as we are not really emotionally and financially prepared for a child in our current situation (100% true), then he would want us to have a termination for our own and the baby's sake. I don't know how to feel. I felt hurt, sad and disappointed when he said this. But I don't really know why as I totally understand why he feels that would be the best option if it happened in the near future. I guess it just made me feel like he would not support me, and has made me wonder what he'd do if I did get pregnant and decided to keep the child. I think it's made me feel as though he won't stick by me if things get tough. Am I wrong for feeling this way? Is it irrational? What should I do now?

Thank you in advance,
Elle
   
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Re: I don't know how to feel about this? - July 17th 2017, 03:21 AM

Hey Elle,

I think it's perfectly reasonable for you to feel this way. It's a totally valid concern for you to have, and his answer does suggest that he might not be there for you if you do end up pregnant. However, this is really only based off of one answer - you did ask him what he personally wanted to do without giving any inclination in regards to what you would want. Just because abortion is his preferred option doesn't mean that he wouldn't be there for you if you did get pregnant. I would suggest talking to him about it. Let him know that this is worrying you, and if he says he wouldn't support you then I think you should probably break it off. Would you really want to continue having sex with this guy if there's a real risk that you could be left alone as a single mother?

Hope this helped and feel free to PM me if you ever need anything!

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Re: I don't know how to feel about this? - July 17th 2017, 05:25 AM

You did the right thing, confronting him and ask him about the future things is the best way of preparation, but things may not happen upon your expectation, that's also good to know that in the early times you know what will happen with you, your boyfriend and the possible child if there is.
Some people also change if the child is born so you can never say.
   
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Re: I don't know how to feel about this? - July 17th 2017, 05:27 AM

I think that you need to convey this to him because it's possible that he would still support you if you decided to keep the child. He might personally feel that termination would be best for the both of you but if it came down to it he might still support you. However, the only way you would be able to get a real answer is if you talk to him. It is important that you are both on the same page about this as well.

My boyfriend have talked about it quite often and we both have agreed that we would likely choose to keep a child if we ended up pregnant. It wouldn't be easy. We wouldn't have a lot of money and would probably have to get assistance but neither of us feel that terminating would be something we could do.

The reason it is important for you to both be on the same page is so that if the worst does happen it won't ruin your relationship completely etc.


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Re: I don't know how to feel about this? - July 17th 2017, 07:39 AM

ask him.

he said he'd be OK with an abortion. he may not know your feelings, or he may assume you feel the same as him.
   
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