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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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TH Anonymous Offline
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Does she want it to end? - December 3rd 2018, 10:42 AM

[SIZE="a"]My girlfriend and I live in separate cities but see eachother every weekend. I feel it has been working well so far despite the distance and we've been together for 6 months and talking for a longoing time beforehand. We both know that the distance is hard but I definitely think its worth the travelling each weekend because she is truly the best thing that has happened to me.
She has recently been going through a lot to do with her family and says she isn't happy. She has told me that she needs space and that maybe I shouldn't see her for a bit. I appreciate that and if she wants space I will give her it - I want what will make her happy.
It's just tricky because I want to be there for her. I feel maybe she's doubting the relationship? Surely if she was happy being with me and if I made her happy then she would want to see me? Do you think she's having second thoughts about the two of us? It's not like we see eachother everyday as it's not possible for us to stay at eachothers in the week because of college. But she feels she needs even more space than this.
I'm unsure what to do about this and feel a bit useless in the way that I've not been able to be there for her and make her feel better about what is going on in her life. The fact that she wants space from me makes me wonder if I have made it worse. I understand that what she is going through is hard for her and I'm not trying to make this about me. I respect fully that its her choice to want some space and I appreciate that and want what is best for her. I just wonder where it leaves me.
Any help is appreciated
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Re: Does she want it to end? - December 4th 2018, 01:07 AM

It's hard to tell if she wants to break up. If she's going through a lot, she might be depressed or just otherwise unable to invest properly in a relationship and that stress might be making it difficult for her to connect to others and thus affecting your relationship. If she wants to break up, it's not very fair keeping you on the hook thinking you're still together, or maybe not, but she might not see it like that.

From my point of view, I think she at least owes you a conversation. You could simply let her know that you absolutely want to give her space but you at least need to know if you guys are still a couple, ask for a reasonable time to reevaluate (e.g 3 weeks), and so on. I don't think she should just be able to indefinitely keep you hanging not knowing, and she shouldn't be putting you in a position where you aren't sure there's a relationship to even save, also you should be able to contact her and get basic information about what's going on. I just sort of feel like if she loved you, she would want that much for you and you deserve that much, so don't be afraid to ask for it.
   
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Re: Does she want it to end? - December 7th 2018, 04:30 AM

I would advise you to have a frank conversation to find everything out between you, she is sure to tell you everything if she cares for you
   
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