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Exclamation My Boyfriend is mad i got high - March 10th 2019, 12:12 AM

so the other night i had an edible as i do from time to time which my boyfriend was aware of but last night when i told him i was high he got super mad at me and said he does not want me to do it again, he lost someone close to him to drugs so i understand where he's upset but he's still mad at me the next day and is almost "punishing" me by not responding to my texts which he knows causes me immense anxiety. i dont know how i should feel towards him or how i should go about talking to him, help!
   
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Re: My Boyfriend is mad i got high - March 10th 2019, 09:54 PM

Is there something about your using it the other day (week?) that was worse than other times? For example, did he maybe think that using was a thing of your past? Or did you provide details that you haven't usually before?

I think the best thing for you to do is to just acknowledge his pain. Obviously, the majority of people who use marijuana will be able to do so safely, just like the majority of experiences involving alcohol are safe (e.g. as long as you don't drive, overdose etc), but if he has experienced trauma where someone in his life died because of drug use or alcohol use, he might have a reaction that's completely disproportionate to what the rest of us would do. It doesn't make it ok for him to get mad at you or angry with you, but I do think that empathizing with how much pain that causes him and how it's hard for him to be objective will make it a lot easier in resolving this. I don't think the right thing to do here would be to shut down his feelings; his feelings matter, his ability to express those feelings matter, and he might have reacted the way he did because, whether he realizes it or not, he might be taking your use of edibles as a flagrant disregard for your life or how your risking your safety would hurt him (and others like your family and friends) in addition to harming yourself; if he feels like he's not being heard or like you're being to casual about something he thinks is really serious, it explains his reaction.

Acknowledging his reaction/feelings I think will help because I don't feel like a "it's my choice and it's perfectly safe" attitude will help when he has a very real reason to find drug use uncomfortable.

Next, I would try to let him know you're sorry that if the way you brought it up, or the way you described it, etc upset him, and that was never your intention (see "acknowledging his feelings") and that you'd like to talk about a reasonable way to proceed. While you are totally ok to keep using the edibles; make the space to find out what makes him so uncomfortable about it, see how you can show him that you're being safe (because it's just marijuana, but, again, he has that trauma of drug-related loss, so he doesn't see it that way), and what he needs so that you can still occasionally use it but he'll know you're ok when it happens.
   
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Re: My Boyfriend is mad i got high - March 15th 2019, 01:55 AM

thank you so much, i will definitely use some of these tactics to talk to him
   
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