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PoeticJessie Offline
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Name: Jessie
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Insecurity - April 19th 2019, 01:53 AM

I've been struggling a lot with insecurity lately. It's not something I've really had to worry about with this relationship before, but recently, I constantly have this fear of pushing him away because I'm too clingy/emotional/needy/etc. He hasn't said or done anything that has led to the feelings. I don't think there's anything specific going on in my life that's contributing. It's just this new and really uncomfortable feeling I've been going through. I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it because they may think I am being overly emotional, and that makes me feel even more alone, which in turn makes me really anxious.

It's very isolating. I don't want to tell all of this to my boyfriend because I don't want to be exactly what I'm afraid I'm being. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else about because, again, I don't want to become what I'm scared I am.

I don't know how to change it. I don't want to feel like this. I hate feeling like this, and it's not me. I just don't know how to fix it. I'm also scared it will transfer over into my job, where I'm in a supervisor/lower management position.

I guess what I'm wondering is, what can I do to fix this? How can I stop feeling like this?
   
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Re: Insecurity - April 19th 2019, 03:46 AM

What's prompted the insecurity? You say lately, so what's set you off? How is your insecurity with the relationship connected to your job?
   
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Re: Insecurity - April 22nd 2019, 01:49 PM

Hi Jessie,
I'm in a relationship too and I understand what this is like.
A) You need to have trust in your relationship. He needs to know he can trust you and the same goes for you.
I would suggest you talk to your boyfriend. Even if you aren't able to figure out the problem yourself, maybe he can help you. It could be an underlying issue that you are unable to recognise; the sooner you get to the bottom of it, the better it is for your relationship.
B) It is very very important, at all times, to be in touch with your feelings. I cannot stress this enough. Know your insecurities, your triggers, your faults, and you can own them, work on them and learn from them. Dont hide away from accepting the truth of how you feel.

We all get insecure, getting insecure/jealous is not what causes the breakdown of a relationship. It is mistrust and miscommunication.
Always keep communications open.


do what you gotta do
   
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Re: Insecurity - April 28th 2019, 08:03 AM

I think we all have our insecurities. The best way to fight it is to trust the person you love and also love your flaws. You guys should communicate more to build a solid foundation in your relationship. Having doubt is normal but never let that take your happiness away.
   
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Re: Insecurity - May 7th 2019, 09:16 PM

I think everyone gets insecure about something they really care about from time to time. For me, I have friend and acquaintance related issues that causes me to be insecure and anxious about my closest friendships today. Do you have anything like that, some sort of past issues that have been unresolved that are turning up with a different person, ie your boyfriend? If that is the case, then I suggest talking to your boyfriend about it. Let him know how you're feeling and how it could be relating to unresolved issues with people in your past. Is he the type of person to listen and be open-minded?

I'm sorry you are feeling insecure and hopefully you are able to work through it soon!

Feel free to reach out again if you want to.
   
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