TeenHelp - Fear of dating

TeenHelp (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/)

- Relationships and Dating (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f9-relationships-dating/)

- - Fear of dating (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f9-relationships-dating/t158967-fear-dating/)

Dear TeenHelpers,
I've never been in a relationship, I've never even held hands with anyone. I met a guy on my friend's birthday party a few days ago and we really got along, so we exchanged contacts and later some messages. We decided to meet on Wednesday for a bike trip. The thing is... the perspective of going on a date stresses me out, but not in the positive-exciting way, it simply scares me (as most other situations in life). I guess a date is supposed to be fun... What I fear the most, I believe, is any kind of physical contact. I have no idea where it came from, but I've never really liked being touched by anyone. My mum would hug me, but I didn't like it. My parents divorced when I was a small kid and I've never truly seen a romantic relationship. When somebody touches me I immediately get tense. And I don't think it's okay. I would like to enjoy touch, to feel comfortable and I don't want such barriers to prevent me from getting into a relationship.
What should I do?
S

Re: Fear of dating

Honestly, my suggestion would be to enjoy yourself in the present moment. A bike ride sounds like a lovely first date. It can be overwhelming to think about the expectations that go along with dating sometimes, and I can understand your fear. I would suggest letting go of all that and just being in this person's presence. If physical contact comes up, I would suggest being honest: that you aren't sure your ready and need to take it slow. It's important NOT to push yourself on that point; otherwise it will backfire spectacularly. Listen to your heart and your body and maintain the boundaries you need to maintain to be comfortable. Physical contact doesn't have to happen on the first date for it to be a good date. If this is someone who can hold a good place in your life, he'll understand and respect that.

Good luck and PM me if you need anything else.