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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Unhappy Nasty Break-up After a 2 Year Relationship (long story) - June 17th 2009, 12:11 AM

Two years ago, I met this cute geeky guy and we ended up getting together. Things escalated a little quickly, no sex but, intimate things did happen. After a year and a half, we went all the way, cause we did fall in love with each other, after all.

I was a fairly defensive girlfriend, there were a few jealous incidents. But, he was the same way. At the beginning of the 10th grade year, my boyfriend ended up fighting a guy over me. I was still friends with the guy, which effected our relationship for a while. My boyfriend was out of school for a whole semester, and we took a 4 day break from our relationship, and I the fight had some to do with it.

After that passed, we got closer again. Soon, he was back in school. We had an amazing Valentine's Day. My birthday, we had a small party with all of our friends. His birthday, he got a Harley Davidson Motorcycle and I was at the shop, then his party the next day.

Still, I was jealous of one of his friends. She always had a crush and claimed to be in love with him for years. She came over to his house every once and a while and they were around school together often. Even though he had told her it wasn't happening, she never gave up. Though, she too became a close friend of mine, she was at both of our parties, I had her over to my house a few times.

I have some issues I need to work on, my jealousy and "rants". I use to take some things out on him that he didn't deserve. He was far from perfect, with sudden new "in your face" sort of attitude. He'd always been tough, but he changed a lot...

Less then a month ago, one of my bratty moments got taken way out of context. I told him I really did want to see him that day and he wanted an alone day. Then, he broke up with me because I did continue on about it. He said we were breaking.

I assumed it was going to be like last time. I didn't leave him alone. I talked about us getting back together. He was jealous when I would hang out with my guy friends. We talked and he said he just needed to clear his head. I assumed we were getting back together sometime soon and he led me to believe so.

Weeks passed, and finally I left him alone. Another week passes, and school let out. The last day of school, I told him if he ever needed me, I was there. After school, he called me and asked me if I wanted to come over "for old time's sake". I honestly had plans, and also was unsure about his motives, so I passed it up.

The following Friday, I called him to tell him of a small problem I had. We talked for hours, he implied about our future relationship. I thought we were getting back together very soon.

The next Wednesday, I was invited to his house, plainly for sex. I went over there on bad judgement; I really thought we were getting back together. Things didn't feel the same, but I did it anyway. He didn't talk to me all that night. I called him a few times Thursday, he never answered, until about 9 pm.

He told me he had a lazy day. He said things felt weird for him also the previous day. He wanted to see if things would ever be the same, and they wouldn't and we weren't getting back together.

I did some reading on his girl friend's bulletins on myspace, and she had implied she was at his house that day. I told her what happened between he and I, and asked her if she was there that day. She said she was. I told her he was playing both of us.

I talked to him the next day on IM, and he said some pretty nasty things to me once he realized I knew our girl friend was over at his house. We exchanged some nasty words, and he said he would come and get his necklace soon.

Myspace is partly to blame for my lack of sanity lately. I'd been reading her status and surveys, talking about she and my ex kissing, hanging out, not exactly in a relationship, but being close to one. He posted some nasty surveys saying some bad things about me, how he "hates" me and threatening my best guy friend whose been helping me through this hard time.

This guy friend I have has been hanging out with me, trying to make me forget these things. He's been there through all of this. I think I've been falling for him lately, but I don't want him to end up a rebound.

I'm still not over my ex and my friend "dating" him partly because I think he's doing it to make me angry. I think he's going for anything he can get because he wants to be needed. The bad part is, I really think that's more of the case then that then that he actually likes her, and I feel bad for her!

It hurts so bad, and I'm so confused. I know I need to let it go, but my whole life revolved around him after awhile. And getting into a relationship with my guy friend, whose been acting like he "like-likes" me, would just be a bad idea right now. I don't want to hurt him. My ex still hasn't talked to me since the nasty conversation, and hasn't come to get his things yet.

Advice, support, and comments are all very appreciated.

Between You & I
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J&M's Mommy Offline
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Re: Nasty Break-up After a 2 Year Relationship (long story) - June 18th 2009, 05:54 AM

I do not like games in a relationship, and it seems like he is playing games. Its terrible that he is bringing another helpless person in all of this. I think he has created a big mess, I say unless you REALLY want to give him another chance you take his stuff to him, and forget him. Easier said than done, I know.

Single Mommy since July 2011
Joseph, 4 and Madelyn, 3

my back-to-back babies are 1 year, 1 week and 1 day apart.
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saraherself Offline
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Re: Nasty Break-up After a 2 Year Relationship (long story) - June 18th 2009, 08:13 PM

Yes, it seems like that's the case. His games are getting old, but easier to get over as the days pass.
Thank you.

Between You & I
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