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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 12:23 AM

last july i met this guy on facebook. for the first couple months we talked every day, as often as we could, through texting, mostly. in october i was grounded and had all my texts blocked for a month, so we talked on the phone a couple of times, but still mostly talked on facebook. when we started texting again it wasnt as often, but we still talked a lot.
i don't even know what to say about this guy. he's so great, and it always cheers me up to talk to him.
i've told my friends about him. some of them, though think it's all a really bad idea. i can understand that, i guess. i mean, with all the stories about internet perverts and fakes and all that. but i really honestly believe that this guy is real, and that he's not a total wierdo creeper.
i mean, wouldnt it kind of be a lot of effort to make a whole network of fake facebook profiles? because he has friends from his school and stuff and his friends have added pictures of him and talk to him and stuff... it just seems like he's a real person.
he's never asked me for pictures, or to meet me (we live a few states apart) or anything like that. our conversations are purely social.
so what i'm asking is this: is it bad to have friends that you've never met? does it really matter that much that you've never met them in person?
i mean, his friends could be saying the same thing about me, that i'm a wierd old man pervert, but i'm not!


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 12:28 AM

Sadly sometimes its best to have friends online that you never meet... they're there for you when you need to chat and you don't have to deal with the drama of heartache and living far apart. If you just want a friendship then there's no big deal at all! If you want to persue this as a relationship I suggest you take a little percaution in doing so but don't be too freaked out about it.





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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 01:13 AM

Hey Sarah,

I can see why your friends are concerned about this situation but if you take precautions it does not have to be a bad thing. If you keep it as just a no meet friendship than it would probably be okay. The thing about meeting people online is you can never really know 100% how safe the person is.

I think you should do what you feel is right but you definitely need to take precautions to ensure your own safety.

Hope this helped and good luck.


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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 01:32 AM

I don't think that there's anything wrong with having friends online which you've never met before, I personally have quite a few. I think, though, that you just have to be safe about it (as mentioned). After all, you've never really met them before and you can never really be too sure that they really are who they say they are. So, it's better to be safe than sorry. Your friends are probably just trying to make sure that you'll be okay.

Either way, we have an awesome thread in our articles section about being safe online, if you'd like to have a look at it. To view that, click the following link:

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Take care.



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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 02:39 AM

There's absolutely nothing wrong with having online friends. =) I spend more time interacting with some online friends than I do with my own roommates!

Now, ONLINE DATING is another matter altogether. In many cases, it's simply not worth the time and effort, and that could be one reason why your friends are so concerned about your growing closer to this boy.






   
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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 03:33 AM

I think it's pefectly ok...as long as your cautious about what's going on...


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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 03:44 AM

I think its fine having online friends. I mean, sometimes its good to be able to talk to people completely removed from the situation, and sometimes its also easier to talk to people you don't know in real life.

But just remember, be safe.
   
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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 04:08 AM

Sarah,

It is always important to practice online safety, even with someone you feel you know very well. Do not tell this guy your home address, what school you go to, etc. If you must meet, do it in a public place and bring a friend. The safest thing would be to not meet at all.

Now, in my personal experience, these relationships can be alright. I was in a semi-relationship with someone I met on a forum once...he turned out to be entirely real, and a great guy. This doesn't have to be another facebook horror story; just be very careful.

I will say that long-distance relationships are extremely difficult to maintain, and you should think long and hard before getting into one. If you care about this guy, though, I do not see why it's a bad idea. Just expect for it to not last, and hope that it does. I knew a couple who met online. They've been married for years.

Take care.


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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 05:49 AM

whatever you do, don't get attached.

Quite truthfully, you don't really know how. yeah, you make 'talk about everything' but you've never had a one on one, eye contact-instant reaction conversation. So you really don't know. Everyone can make an alter ego that they will portray online. Also, what guarantees you that how he asked online/through text is the same as in person? How can you get the proper interpretation of things that he said, without hearing the tone of voice and seeing his expression.
   
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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 01:06 PM

my best friend and I have never met, and were online, I mean yeah we get along amazingly and we've known each other for almost 3 years now, and we just go from strength to strength...

Also I... kind of met, more got talking to my girlfriend through facebook, and we've been going out for 3 months now, so otht hose I have and havent met online, have lasted so to speak, 3 months isnt a long time, but we've had no problems

I will say though... my best friend told me she loved me and she wanted to go out with me, and as much as I liked her back, I said no because I would never do online, Im too much of a physical person, just hugs and kisses even, cant live without... SO yeah were best friends, and my girlfriend is too, but sometimes a friend, well... its different...



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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 01:10 PM

I'll second what Joel has said. Basically, at this age, or any age, the physical aspect [kissing, hugging, etc] is elemental. This is why I do not think that online relationships can work to the full extent real life ones can. I have been put in a position where I seriously was considering an online relationship and in the end did not for this reasoning.
Best of luck. x


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Re: Online relationship? - June 30th 2009, 09:45 PM

As pretty much everyone has said: friends, yes, dating, no. I met my best friend online three years ago and I trust him above all my "real life" friends. There are creepy people out there, but there are also great friends. Just make sure the thought is in the back of your mind that, while he may be the most amazing friend you've got, you still need to be careful. =)



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Re: Online relationship? - July 3rd 2009, 01:31 PM

I have a best friend of 5 years who I have never met. He lives in a different country but we talk about everything and anything. Sometimes these friendships help more in times when it seems like there is no one for you to talk to around you. So as long as its friendship thats fine, if you think about taking it further, like the rest have suggested be cautious.

Hope this helps.
   
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Re: Online relationship? - July 3rd 2009, 05:11 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by hello giraffie View Post
last july i met this guy on facebook. for the first couple months we talked every day, as often as we could, through texting, mostly. in october i was grounded and had all my texts blocked for a month, so we talked on the phone a couple of times, but still mostly talked on facebook. when we started texting again it wasnt as often, but we still talked a lot.
i don't even know what to say about this guy. he's so great, and it always cheers me up to talk to him.
i've told my friends about him. some of them, though think it's all a really bad idea. i can understand that, i guess. i mean, with all the stories about internet perverts and fakes and all that. but i really honestly believe that this guy is real, and that he's not a total wierdo creeper.
i mean, wouldnt it kind of be a lot of effort to make a whole network of fake facebook profiles? because he has friends from his school and stuff and his friends have added pictures of him and talk to him and stuff... it just seems like he's a real person.
he's never asked me for pictures, or to meet me (we live a few states apart) or anything like that. our conversations are purely social.
so what i'm asking is this: is it bad to have friends that you've never met? does it really matter that much that you've never met them in person?
i mean, his friends could be saying the same thing about me, that i'm a wierd old man pervert, but i'm not!
i met my boyfriend on the internet,we see eachother every week and he's amazing,the best guy ever! i guess i was lucky but also i just checked everything out, for example if he has a active facebook acount with a few pics of himself on there which have been comented then yh i say he's a real person. problem with online relationships is that you can't 1oo% tell what there personality is so you can't say you like him until you meet him! i thought my boyfriend was a bit clingy when we started texting but he's not at all! lol and yh his mates thought i might be a weird psyco perverted man and i had my doubts about him but luckily it all turned out great! i mean, meeting guys is always gonna be dangerous for the first time because you hardly no them anyway! i once met a guy at the bus stop and he was a total psyco but he seemed so nice when he chatted me up!! so you gotta be on your gaurd all the time anyway.
most my friends are mates i've met on facebook or whatever. i'm not good at making friends in real life, and mates online take a lot less efffort than real mates lol. it's up to you if you want to take it farther and meet him, i advise giving it about 3 months before meeting him or anything, if you do decide to meet him one day then make sure you take some mates with you. let me make it clear though that just because i got lucky with my guy, it by no means means that you will also have the same luck! unfortunatly there are some very sad men and ladies out there who lie about themsevels for several reasons. i know people who have met guys from the internet and they've turned out really nasty.
be safe and good luck.
   
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