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I'm in love with my neighbor? - July 13th 2009, 11:29 PM

I've had a crush on my neighbor since like, 4th or 5th grade.
In 9th grade we became really good friends. We spend a lot of time together over the summer before 10th. I would go to his house pretty much every day, and we'd just have a lot of fun. Towards the end of that summer he told me he really liked me and I found out he was thinking about asking me out. A week or two later he started dating my best friend. I was so confused and hurt. I was so used to flirting with him all the time, but I know I couldn't because he was dating one of my best friends. I tried really hard to just be friends with him, but it was so hard, because I still really had feelings for him.
A year later I got in a fight with my friend and she brought up the guy, my neighbor, and said I was just jealous because he "chose her over me." I really didn't know what to say to her after that, so I just walked away. after the fight she told him not to talk to me. So he didn't.
For some reason I still really like him, even though he's not alloud to talk to me. every time I see him i remember that summer two years ago and how happy I was when I was spending time with him.
But my issue is this: He's leaving for college next month, should I tell him how I feel? or at least try to talk to him? He's not going too far. it's only a couple hours and I'm sure he'll be back for holidays and breaks and stuff. It just feels weird letting him go without saying anything. and it'll be really weird knowing that he's not in the neighborhood anymore. So what should I do?


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Re: I'm in love with my neighbor? - July 14th 2009, 12:02 AM

Assuming he's still dating your friend...

What would be accomplished, if you told him how you feel?

1. You would feel better (supposedly).
2. He may be flattered by your feelings for him, or he may avoid you out of respect for his girlfriend.
3. His girlfriend, if she ever found out, would probably become jealous and/or insecure in the knowledge that another girl has feelings for her boyfriend.

He was a boy that you flirted with two years ago. He is now a boy who is committed to a relationship, and moving away to pursue other goals. Let him move on, instead of bringing up things from the past that could cause him problems in the present day. If you have any respect for him, then have some respect for his current relationship as well.

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to re-kindle the friendship... especially considering how you were abruptly forced to cease all communication with him, due to his girlfriend/your friend. HOWEVER, telling him how you really feel would be... selfish, honestly.

In the event that he's SINGLE... sure, why wouldn't you tell him?







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Re: I'm in love with my neighbor? - July 14th 2009, 05:13 AM

It's really unfortunately that happened, sorry to hear it.
Did you ever ask him why he didn't ask you out? By the way why didn't you just ask him out?
If you want I think you should try staying friends. As for telling him how you feel, maybe not, not now atleast.
If things with him don't work out, maybe it just wasn't meant to be and you'll find someone better.


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Re: I'm in love with my neighbor? - July 14th 2009, 11:41 PM

I din't ask him out because I thought my freind liked him. and I guess I was right.
I just don't want this to be one of those things that's like, 'man, I wish I had done that."
Like, I don't want to find out in 20 years that he liked me this whole time.
Bust at the same time, I don't want to tell him and have him think I'm a total ceep or something.


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Re: I'm in love with my neighbor? - July 15th 2009, 01:14 AM

I think you missed the point of my first post. This isn't about regretting it if you don't tell him, or coming across as a "creeper". This is about whether or not he's currently in a relationship. Is he? If he is, then I would strongly suggest you don't say anything to him, because it could cause so many problems for his current relationship. If he's not in a relationship, then I don't see why telling him would be a problem.






   
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