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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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Synaestheasiaen Offline
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I've never felt so betrayed. - August 6th 2009, 06:11 AM

I have a cousin who is a couple years younger then me. We were never close and she's self proclaimed selfish bitch. No one in our own family can stand her. Now that's saying alot not to mention how sad that is. So you can see she's a pretty horrible person. She dated a guy for a couple months and never wanted to admit it to anyone and they broke up and him and i started dating about 9 months later and we've been together for almost three years. He just told me that 2 years ago when we had our first break up, him and my cousin went to a movie and kissed. He said he did it because he needed comfort since I was with my brother at his college. I completely went off on my cousin and we are no longer speaking.

I'm not as angry at my boyfriend because he came clean and we weren't dating at the time anymore, but to me it doesn't change anything. He knows that I can't stand her and that she's a snake and yet he kissed her. I feel so betrayed and so gross right now and think of the times she's been over to my house while he was with me and me being an idiot and not knowing what those two did. Am I justified in being so hurt and angry? I honestly do not know what to do about my boyfriend. There isn't anything lower he could possibly do to me other than that. I need some guidance. Please.
   
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Re: I've never felt so betrayed. - August 6th 2009, 06:27 AM

Could've been worse they didn't do each other.
   
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ChaosScene Offline
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Re: I've never felt so betrayed. - August 6th 2009, 12:06 PM

Hmmm this is a tricky one.
So this break up then?
If it was a full break up and you left each other.
i.e you both saw yourself as single.

Then I cant see anything wrong. After you split just because you dont like her does not me he should not see her or anything. Regardless if you get back together later on. As at that point maybe both you and him would not have know you would get back together.

You have to remember he is entitled to his own opinions and feelings.


However, if the break up was period of time away.
i.e you were just taking a break from seeing each other. But both saw yourself as being in a relationship.

Then you would have every right to be upset. But again he is entitled to his own opinions regarding her.

hope this helps.


Im always willing to listen and answer questions, so if you got something on your chest, lets talk about it already...
PM me when your ready
   
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Re: I've never felt so betrayed. - August 6th 2009, 02:21 PM

Wow. I must say I would probably be pretty upset. However, technically I shouldn't be. lol.
If you guys broke up for real, then he technically could do anything with anyone he wants, and you could too. I guess you didn't end up doing anything with anyone...and had you this probably wouldn't be so painful.
It's a hard situation...and I am surprised that if he didn't tell you when it happened that he is telling you now...2 years later. However, I guess it's better to be honest.
Nevertheless, you can't change what has happened; you can't change the past. You need to decide if you can get past this in order to stay with him. If you don't think you can, then you may want to consider taking a break. This time, if you don't want him to see other people make sure you guys talk about what the technicalities of a break entails.
Good luck! I hope things turn out well!
   
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Re: I've never felt so betrayed. - August 6th 2009, 09:07 PM

At the time he didn't want to believe she was doing nothing but making fun of him and I know we were broken up, but still. It was my cousin for christ's sake. I decided we will go on together because i agreed we'd go through insane obstacles together, but it just hurt me so much that he would do that. I understand that he was free to do whatever he wanted, but that doesn't make it okay to kiss my evil cousin nonetheless. To me it was worse than cheating. He knows now what a twisted chick she is, and that he had no feelings for her, it was just because he was vulnerable and saught comfort and although I still find it fucked up that he would run to her for it, I guess he wasn't thinking straight.

I told him we are never talking about this again but yeah I guess it makes you stronger.
   
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Re: I've never felt so betrayed. - August 6th 2009, 10:42 PM

Yea...the least you can do is try and get past it. It won't be easy if it was hurtful towards you but I'm sure he wasn't intending to hurt you.
I hope it all works out!
   
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