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Question I'm turning 18 and my boyfriend is 16 - August 18th 2009, 05:15 PM

Is it ok for us to be together? i always feel like i'm doing something wrong when we are together we don't have sex or anything only kiss.But my mom and older sister think it's wrong they call him jailbate and tell me i can't date him because i'll go to jail.His parents like me and don't care about the age different,idk i still feel like i shouldn't be with him even tho i care about him alot and wanna be with him he also feels the same.I wish everything could be ok nothing in my life has been good i'd rather just die then deal with this.


What should i do?

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Re: I'm turning 18 and my boyfriend is 16 - August 18th 2009, 05:54 PM

To put it bluntly, your mom and your sister are flat out WRONG. I'm actually surprised that there is some stigma to your relationship, as there aren't as many older girls/younger guys compared to older(pedophile lol) guys/younger girls.

If you're just kissing, that's fine. If you'll eventually have sex with your boyfriend, that for up to the both of you to decide that, you're both legal and not even 2 years difference. If it's only your mom and sister that are giving you a hardtime about your relationship, all I can say is to toughen it out until they both realize that they are being ridiculous. If it's people from your high school that you giving you crap about it, don't worry about it, you'll be out of high school very soon.
   
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Re: I'm turning 18 and my boyfriend is 16 - August 18th 2009, 06:32 PM

Phillips is correct. This is not a matter of opinion or judgment, if you and your boyfriend [regardless of age] enjoy spending time together and being in a romantic relationship and it's not directly hurting anyone than that is a decision between you and him, not anyone else, not your family or friends or even authorities to argue with. Both of you must understand that in this society you will most likely face discrimination and persecution based on the social stigma that anyone involved in a romantic relationship with someone younger, especially teenagers, will be taking advantage of the younger person, this is sometimes true and sometimes not. As you get older though, this stigma should not be a problem as less people will be concerned with your age and more with your attitude and abilities. Basically what I'm saying is you've got to tough it out until you and your boyfriend are out of highschool which in my experience is the cesspool of gossip and social conflict.

In fact I know a couple in the U.S. who are happily married, wife is in her 60's and husband is in his 30's. When I first found out they were together it blew my mind at the age difference, but later I came to realize that they were happy together and nothing else really matter. The only problem with this relationship is that it is very unfair for the husband, as he will have to bear the loss of his wife for a long time to come.

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Re: I'm turning 18 and my boyfriend is 16 - August 18th 2009, 07:06 PM

Thanks for replying it means alot,and i know i'm trying to just get over and it and forget about what my family says but it's still hard :/ and i graduated this year btw he's obv still in high school.
   
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Re: I'm turning 18 and my boyfriend is 16 - August 19th 2009, 05:03 PM

Things will get better with time, if your relationship with him is a healthy one your family will have no choice but to accept that you two are serious about each other and that they cannot and should not interfere whether they like it or not. Your family members are just people, like any other people, they can make mistakes and believe false things, we are all only human and are so easily conditioned to believe and feel certain things. I would not blame your family for the way they feel, sometimes it can be difficult to accept things that they were not raised with. Instead you should aim to help your family members understand and to appreciate the beauty in a romantic or even platonic relationship as I assume you do understand since you do not seem to be affected by the social stigmas you observe in others.
   
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