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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
delilah Offline
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After some feedback. - August 21st 2009, 10:46 AM

So I'm just looking for some comments on this I suppose.

Me and my guy have been together for a year and half and a little bit more. and we love eachother heaps.

Just tonight he was worried that he didn't miss me the way he used to.. like when he is at work or uni he isn't sitting there wishing I was there all the time. And I was very suprsied he saw this has something to be worried about.. the last time I felt like that about him was back in our first few months of dating.

I mean I always would be happy to see him, and I do think "oh this is such a nice day i wish me and ___ could go to the beach!" or something.. but I don't long for him.. it takes about 3-4 days (plus phone) before I really start to need to see him.

(although we tend to see eachother every second day anyway).

We talkd about it and we're both fine with not missing eachother like that, and he felt very reassured that I didn't expect him to be misssing me like that and to that extent. Cause he was worried something was wrong cause he didn't.

ANyway what do you guys think? Is that something you'd expect in a relationship after a year and half? or more? or less even?
   
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Re: After some feedback. - August 21st 2009, 12:06 PM

hey
i see why your worried but to be completly honest i think this is very normal after a year in a relationship.
it also depends on the couple, for example with me and my boyfriend he always wants to see me but i get weeks where i love my own company but i still miss him and like him but i get days and weeks where i do just constanly want to be near him.
aslong as you still care for your boyfriend,still love him and still want to be with him then i think it's fine and i find it's great you've both spoken about this, good communicatioon eqauls successful relationship (although sometimes it doesn't but i don't think thats the case here lol).
don't worry about it,i personaly think it's normal
   
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Re: After some feedback. - August 21st 2009, 12:43 PM

hey yeah, nah i'm not worried, it was just interesting for me, it didn't occur to me that anyone would be worried! it wasn't until he mentioned that he was (because he thought he was 'supposed' to, not because it actually bothers him per say), that i realised some people don't think it's the norm.

but yeah.
   
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Re: After some feedback. - August 21st 2009, 07:19 PM

For me, it's honestly depended on the person.

I have a best friend of 2 years who I miss incredibly if we miss a day of talking (though I'm generally fine to go a couple without breaking and sending a clingy e-mail), but this may be due to the fact we've talked for hours for mostly everyday since we met. There are other people, however, who I'm safely comfortable knowing they're going to come back to me and that their feelings for me aren't going to disappear overnight (my friend can be rather fickle, and I believe this leads for my dependency). These are people I've known for longer, some of them for less than, 2 years, and I feel that that's how things go - especially in romantic relationships. To me, it's healthy, and quite frankly, it'd probably feel more unhealthy to me if that weren't the case. Just my personal opinion on the matter.

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Re: After some feedback. - August 21st 2009, 07:34 PM

Don't worry! I've almost got used to not seeing my boyfriend very often, so I don't miss him, but I do sometimes. I think it's normal.




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Re: After some feedback. - August 21st 2009, 08:07 PM

I've never had a girlfriend, but I mean sometimes people I'm sure don't like being away from there partners possibly because they might worry if they won't see them again for some reason. He could subconsciously know now that he'll see you again and so doesn't have to worry about it. Idk that's just my two cents whether or not it has actual relevance to what your boyfriend is doing idk.


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It's Fearless" ^_^

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Re: After some feedback. - August 22nd 2009, 12:24 AM

Keep in mind with my responses I am just trying to be as logical as I think I can be and have no dating background.

I would imagine this to be normal in a longer relationship. He still misses you but deals with it in a different way.

He trusts you and knows you now, so he doesn't have to show how much he misses you. He knows you are there for him, he knows he is going to see you sooner rather than a possible later.

I wouldn't worry too much about it, if anything it is a good thing.

He isn't losing interest, he is losing doubts.
   
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