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Question Unstable and Stable Personalities - August 24th 2009, 02:38 PM

Hello

This is my first thread, so if it needs to be moved if it doesn't belong here it's fine and in my 6 months here I haven't seen anyone talk about this. It deals with both friends and relationships so I figured since it didn't fit into one it belongs here.

Anyway, this morning I was thinking. There are the four general personalities Sanguine, Melancholic, Chloric, and Phlargic, sorry if I spelled them wrong. I read places that it says that opposites attract. So Melancholics are attracted to Sanguines, for example, but I thought about a new twist, which since I've never been in a relationship so I can't confirm it with a relationship, but i can confirm it with my friendships.

Basically, Unstable people are attracted to Stable people, not necessarily consciously. Thinking about it most of the friends I have ever made have been Stably minded. I personally have an Unstable personality that can at times be very sociable and other times shy and unsociable, but most of the people I actually become friends with both guys and girls and get to know have been Stable either consistently more emotional or less emotional.
I just discovered these people for the most part and never ever thought that I would be there friends when I first met them and it sounds like that's how a relationship would most likely develop for me.

It's funny then how I have always been more attracted more Unstable people at this point, but I've never been able to get to know them and maybe this is why? It could be like how sometimes people are attracted to the bad guy/girl even though it wouldn't work out.

I understand that everyone is different and has had different experiences and I'm not trying to stereotype.
This is just a thought and if anyone has any input positive or negative please post it, it's interesting seeing what other people think.


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Re: Unstable and Stable Personalities - August 26th 2009, 04:04 PM

First of all, if you see this better fit in either Dating and Relationships or Mental Health, let me know- I'll move it for you But for now, I think it is fine here.

This is a very cool idea! I think I would consider myself slightly unstable and I really do fall in love with stable guys. I suppose where I lose the connection is where stable people want unstable people. As in, what do unstable people have that is attractive to stable ones? I can understand why an unstable person would want someone to fall/lean on. But maybe stable people like unstable people because they are more interesting/unpredictable. Perhaps that element of surprise is attracting. Two unstable people couldn't work out because there would be nothing solid- nothing really holding them together at all times? Same with two stable people, there would be no fun- way too boring.


But, I am not sure that these two define why opposites attract. I think you can be stable but have some sort of trait that is attractive to some who is also stable but has a completely different trait. For instance, someone who is an amazing skier might be really attracted to someone who loves to read. These two interests are enough to keep them together, although they are pretty opposite. Or maybe one is much more family oriented than the other. I think opposite has to entail more than one thing to really be considered stable and unstable. For example if you were very preppy, cared about appearances, struggled with self image, loves pets and wanted no children.... you probably wouldn't be attracted to someone who is a farmer, loves big families, wears overalls and cares more about lakes than looks.

But on a smaller scale, I see what you mean. All of my friends are pretty much stable
... I am the odd one out


Interesting post, thanks for sharing
I hope my comments made a little bit of sense

-Amy


   
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Re: Unstable and Stable Personalities - August 28th 2009, 10:42 PM

Your comments were great. Thanks

Yeah that's sort of what i was thinking. What you wrote that two unstable people aren't that good because they can't support each other that great and two stable people would be to boring, so a stable with an unstable person sort of balance the equation

Yeah there is a lot more to people being attracted to each other then just this, besides I would rather actually marry someone with similar interests it's just underlying things like stable and unstable/ social or not social that influence the decision some.

I know the girl I liked for 2.5 years has a more unstable personality like me and she had to go through depression and I've always been uncomfortable talking to her and I think it deals with I worry I'll offend her or something, when I'm just joking, but a more stable person may get the joke without offense or something, but one of my best friends in high school we were just friends for a year cause I was a junior and she was a senior, but I just sat next to her in class a month after class started and we became good friends and we would joke with each other and talk and have fun in class, unlike the girl I liked and she didn't seem like that exciting of a person and I guess more stable in my analogy, but we were just really good friends and I was always the really excited one and she was more cool.

Yeah I think I want to move this too Dating and Relationships when you get the chance.


"It's the first kiss. It's flawless. It's really somethin'...

It's Fearless" ^_^

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