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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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noobtoob Offline
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I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 06:15 PM

So me and my girlfriend have had a rather tough week.
We've argued several times over what she classes as silly things. But recently I chose to remain calm and it seemed to work but then I took something she said wrong and it slipped into an arguement.

She told me that she was back in contact with her ex, which I was cool with.

But there's this other guy on the scene who she has kissed before (she told she didn't kiss him, but upon me digging, she admitted that she did kiss him). This is after her going on at me about me not trusting her, so.. i'm supposed to trust her when she witholds the truth?

I can understand why she lied, it was 5 months ago, 2 months before she met me. But she's in daily contact with this guy at college and walking home with him and their other friends afterwards.

She's told me that she'd never go any further than just friends with him and that she is in love with me over the phone. I figured everything would be ok, we both seemed hopeful. She says that sometimes the arguements make her think "what's the point?" in us.

Today she went to college again, and I felt better all day tbh, no more worrying. But she cancels plans to see me again, due to the rain and her feeling "meh" and "not right" she said it wasn't because of me.

I asked why she walked home in the rain and she listed the guys name first, before all her other friends. Stating that they did not have bus passes.

Now I may have no reason to be stressing here, but could she be feeling this way because of him? Or is she just scared that we have been having such a hard time?

She seems very blunt with her answers to me and seems slightly distant to me. Could it be because of this boy garnering her attention again today or is she just scared that we will argue again?

She said she wouldn't know what to do if everything wasn't ok between us this time.

I'm confused, please help.
I've been saying ILY to her, I love you. But she only says "LY" back. Skipping out the I. I confronted her and asked what was up, and she responded by questioning my trust in her. Saying that she thinks, I think, she doesn't love me and that just because she doesn't say it, it doesn't mean she doesn't mean it. Then she said she wished I would stop being insecure. But why skip out the I, 3 times now, after last night and starting to see this guy again for the first time in months?

(She started college 2 days ago, and today after college she's been weird)

Last edited by noobtoob; September 8th 2009 at 06:30 PM.
   
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Re: I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 06:25 PM

Maybe she is still unsure whether she wants to be with you or not. Loads of times I feel 'meh' and I still manage to see my boyfriend cos when I'm around him I'm happier. I don't really think that this boy has changed her feelings for you but maybe she is looking for a distraction? Give her a little time, if she keeps cancelling plans with you though then you might want to think about ending this.
   
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Re: I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 06:39 PM

Can you not discuss with her instead of going on a forum
   
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Re: I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 06:43 PM

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Originally Posted by Ben1 View Post
Can you not discuss with her instead of going on a forum
That would result in another arguement tbh and that's not what I want right now.
   
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Re: I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 06:44 PM

The relationship won't go any further then
   
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Re: I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 07:05 PM

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The relationship won't go any further then
I didn't say I wouldn't tell her, I said not right now because it would lead to another arguement. Please refrain from posting short, unhelpful answers.
   
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Re: I think my girlfriend may be having second thoughts about me - September 8th 2009, 07:30 PM

Hi!
Things do seem like they are on shaky ground. I'm sorry you're going through a rough time with your girlfriend!
It's probably because she's overwhelmed by something else? Or distracted? Or just wants a break? It's hard to say with girls (take me for example!). It kinda takes some time to put things in order, and to think things through. And sometimes, yes there are a lot of misunderstandings. There will be. And there will be a communication gap.
She may have lied to you about the kiss, but then later she told you (after you poked into it true...but she still ended up telling you)...big step. Plus, she also just started college...so she could be trying to get used to that as well!
I think you should just give her a little time, and be your usual self. Don't freak if she doesn't say I love you, and just say love you.
when you think about this too hard, you will end up finding some kind of so called 'hidden meaning' in everything, when there really isn't any! and you'll also end up stressing yourself up.
when she asks you to trust her, just trust her. Do something only if this happens over a period of time...give her some time to adjust...then you'll see things better!!

Hope I helped! If you need to talk, please pm me!!
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