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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 02:18 AM

so yesterday my bf of 7 mos dumped me threw a text message

it said.....

i think it best that we should not date anymore i like you and all but you are to abusive like you hit me hard that is why my sides were hurting and i am like i love you but i cant be with you i am so sorry i hope we can still be friends..

i txted him back saying thats low that he had to do it threw a text he called me yelling saying that i was low or w.e and i was like i never abused you he told me i bruised his ribs and there is no possible way little me could do that i know my own strenght and like i never hit him hard enough for it to hurt like yea i joke around and shit play hitting but thats it i never make contact and if i have the times where i do its like no foreve behind it

and while on the phone he said oh and i almost got in trouble because u left a bite mark on my neck i was like im srry? and his mom said in the back round that i was disrespectful

what pisses me off is there is NO FUCKING POSSIBLE WAY THAT I COULD HAVE BRUISED HIS RIBS that takes alot of force something i dont have the strength to do that because other wise my sisters fiance would have much more then bruised ribs by now because we wrestle like every week

fml i feel so numb and worthless i told him that he made me feel worthless because he dumped me threw a text and so he started to say what the txt said to me and i was like i got it the first fucking time you dnt have to tell me twice and i havent cryed yet or anything but like ugh fml

any advice or anything

i mostly wanted to rant on about it cause i dnt have anyone to talk to about things so like yeah...........


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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 02:37 AM

Rants are good - they keep us sane. I rant a lot and sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn't. Hope it helped.

Honestly, I've got nothing against play fighting - if you want, you can come to Australia and bruise my ribs for me.

Let's just say that it was all a cop out and he was too premature to be ready for a relationship and be ready for the problems relationships can bring - if he can't get through something as simple as bruised ribs (and talk to you about it... like a boyfriend should) from play fighting, or a love bite on his neck, then there's no way he could get through something more complicated. It just seems so trivial to me, and that he should've found something decent to blame a 7-month break up on. I'm sure that there's a better reason - or he's just not ready to share a relationship with someone.

Forget about him, darl. Move on and find someone that thinks you're worth a bruised rib and a love bite. Find someone that suits you - and stay strong. You'll make it through okay.

<3 - Melbs.


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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 02:46 AM

ill gladly go back to aussie lolz thanks for the reply
i didnt bruise his ribs
play fighting the way i do cant hurt anyone
not to mention im not strong enuff to do that


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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 03:17 AM

Sounds to me like he dumped you for his own reasons (I believe you're right and you didn't cause his bruised ribs) and:

1. Wasn't man enough to do it face to face.
2. Blamed it on you so he wouldn't take the flak for it and so he could convince himself that had righteous reasons for breaking up with you and not feeling guilty.

Do not listen to him or let him make you feel bad. He just wants to make you feel like crap so he doesn't have to.

I'm sorry this had to happen to you, but you'll get through it and be a stronger person because of it


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 01:31 PM

yea i guess what hurt me the most is what his mom said shes never even met me she dont know me and she said im not respectable


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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 06:16 PM

Don't worry yourself about that. If his mom is so close-minded that she believes her son's every word without any connection to you at all then she doesn't deserve to know you. Don't get me wrong, I understand that it must sting, but you've done nothing wrong and you don't deserve to be treated as if you're some horrible abuser.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 06:34 PM

Hey,

To be honest, if he finishes things through a text message and tries to blame it on you then he really isn't worth bothering with! Try to move past him; he doesn't seem like a decent bloke. If his mum has never met you then she really can't judge you in any way, her son has probably been saying things and mums tend to believe their children over other people and can get protective. You know you didn't bruise him or anything of the sort so try not to pay any attention to what he says. As long as you know the truth then that's all that matters. There will be much better blokes out there for you who will treat you with respect and decency


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Re: text message dumpage - September 13th 2009, 07:37 PM

Oh, I'm sorry =( I hate it when people are such...[naughty word here] spineless jerks that they can't even end it properly. The fact of the matter is, even if you had hit him hard enough to give him a bruise (which I too think highly unlikely), the correct response is to tell you that! As for his mother, if she's never met you then she's likely only heard his skewed side of the story. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do about her opinion of you, but that's par for the course I think. You're definitely better than the lot of them, dear.



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Re: text message dumpage - September 14th 2009, 01:46 AM

I am feeling better now. Spent most of yesterday dwelling on it then today said fuck it im gunna have an amazing day and i visited my uncle willie whom i love dearly and he made me feel better about things he has such a great humor and is so sweet he always makes me happier so like now im ready to just keep living. It's his loss not mine


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Re: text message dumpage - September 20th 2009, 06:05 PM

-sighs- entire fam was over yesterday and kept asking me about my "boyfriend" it hurt because i had to tell them he dumped me and it brought me right back to the way i was feeling last weekend and now i just kinda wanna crawl under a rock and stay there


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Re: text message dumpage - September 20th 2009, 06:54 PM

Don't let other people asking about him bring you down. You know that he wasn't worth you. Instead of losing your composure you politely say "Oh, ____ and I arent together anymore." If someone asks why, you just say it wasn't working out and leave it at that. And you go on about your day, because you know that YOU are amazing and deserve better than this guy, who was a complete jerk, end of story.


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Re: text message dumpage - September 20th 2009, 08:27 PM

Hi,

Not at all trying to sound like the only negative voice (because I'm not), but I too had a gf who did things like hit me. She'd hit me, not very hard, but it was freakin' annoying because she did it so much. And she would bruise me. And she'd bite me also, and I'd tell her to stop and it would go right overtop of her head. And she'd also do other things, like sitting her ass right on the pillow that I was going to lay my head into and go to sleep that night and fart right on it, and then burst out in laughter like it was just so funny... It was not funny. I told her to shape up and stop doing things like that, and she did not listen, so I sent her on her way.

Not sure how your situation was, but some people like that kind of stuff but others do not. In my personal experience that I was talking about, I got tired of being hit, physically attacked, etc etc. It got on my nerves. I had to get rid of her, I was freaking tired of being treated that away against my own will.
   
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Re: text message dumpage - September 20th 2009, 11:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by T4rnishd View Post
Hi,

Not at all trying to sound like the only negative voice (because I'm not), but I too had a gf who did things like hit me. She'd hit me, not very hard, but it was freakin' annoying because she did it so much. And she would bruise me. And she'd bite me also, and I'd tell her to stop and it would go right overtop of her head. And she'd also do other things, like sitting her ass right on the pillow that I was going to lay my head into and go to sleep that night and fart right on it, and then burst out in laughter like it was just so funny... It was not funny. I told her to shape up and stop doing things like that, and she did not listen, so I sent her on her way.

Not sure how your situation was, but some people like that kind of stuff but others do not. In my personal experience that I was talking about, I got tired of being hit, physically attacked, etc etc. It got on my nerves. I had to get rid of her, I was freaking tired of being treated that away against my own will.
Even if that was what happened it's still his fault for not saying "look, this is getting annoying" or even just "please stop", though I still believe he just turned the tables to make you seem like the bad guy so he didn't get the raw end of the deal.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
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"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
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"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
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Re: text message dumpage - September 21st 2009, 02:22 AM

he never told me to stop and i didnt do it very often if he had asked me to stop i would have


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Re: text message dumpage - September 21st 2009, 03:47 AM

I know, and that's why I say that there's no way that would be the reason. If it was abusive at all he'd have complained or said stop or something.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: text message dumpage - September 22nd 2009, 12:15 AM

oh ok lol sounded like u was attacking me


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Re: text message dumpage - September 22nd 2009, 02:49 AM

Oh, of course not. I was just defending your point that, even by the grace of god it was because you were 'abusing him' (laughing at the thought), he should have said something so even if that was the situation then you couldn't have known, so it still wouldn't be your fault.


"What do we live for, if not to make life less difficult for each other?"
-George Eliot

"Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it."
-Groucho Marx

"Don't be afraid your life will end; be afraid that it will never begin."
-Grace Hansen
   
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Re: text message dumpage - September 24th 2009, 02:22 AM

I got dumped by text a week ago from my bf,i just see it as an immature move.And also me and my ex would play fight alot but we'd both hit each other in the private area hard,believe me you prob didn't hit your ex bf as hard as i'd hit mine lol.
   
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Re: text message dumpage - September 24th 2009, 02:54 AM

I do have to agree about the neck biting. Same thing happened to me when I was younger and It didn't end well. When someone says don't leave a mark, there usually is a good reason not to, especially if you have a mom like mine.

But the thing about the text message was in fact low. He should have done it to your face. And why was the mom in the background... Was she there to witness the breakup/have something to do with it?


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Re: text message dumpage - September 24th 2009, 08:59 PM

i have no clue about the mom and well he never told me not to leave a mark untill the last time i did and he said ime get in trouble now cause of it so i stopped leaving marks and well he liked me bitting his neck cause it turned him on but he got in trouble with his step mom for it


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Re: text message dumpage - October 5th 2009, 10:19 PM

its whatever now
i dnt care


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