Really messed up...

Pelios · **Really messed up... -** November 8th 2009, 08:34 PM

OK
So I wake up today and I have a text message from my boyfriend saying to call him as soon as possible. I was a little confused so I called him. He was upset, and told me one of our worst nightmare. He told me his dad had finally messed up really bad; he got his “lover” pregnant. It was my boyfriend’s worst nightmare he would wake up one day and hear this news.
A little background on this. His father is really popular in our city he is always donating to charities and is involved in everything. Everyone knows who he is and, this news will defiantly be hard on all his family. Tomorrow everyone is going to know, and is going to be talking and start “rumors”. My boyfriend hates been in the spot light and now because of this he will probably be in a lot of stress.
Right now I’m on my way to his house, to be there for him and support him. But I don’t know how to react, I mean I really like his father I don’t know if he is going to be there. And his mom is really nice to me; his brothers are going to be there I guess. I don’t know what to say or do. I mean is there anything I can say to make him feel better. Today is going to be easy compared to tomorrow when everyone finds out.
Any advice or tips will be great. I’m just really in shock. I don’t know what the future holds for him or his family. I'm really scared.

blueraider0 · **Re: Really messed up... -** November 9th 2009, 03:59 AM

So you're dating a family in scandal. Well, this isn't your boyfriend's fault, obviously. But he will be sad. Especially because, from what I can muster, he knew his father was having an affair. He knew about it and kept it quiet from his mom. However: it is still not his fault and never was. It also has next to nothing to do with you.

So you're dating a family in scandal. All you have to do is support your boyfriend through this difficult time. That is all you must do. This isn't your responsibility, nor his. So be supportive, help him realize it isn't his fault if he thinks it is, and that's about it. It's not that there is nothing else you CAN do, it's that there is nothing else you SHOULD do. Let the family solve the family affair. You just support the member of the family you have the closest relationship with.

Algernon · **Re: Really messed up... -** November 9th 2009, 04:13 AM

I think he should just ignore it and show them that he's in a relationship where he's waiting to have sex. Which is great.

Pelios · **Re: Really messed up... -** November 9th 2009, 04:37 AM

I don't think he can just go on and ignore it. We are both family oriented. I know I'm not dating the family but I really get alone with the family.
I just came back from their house and you could just feel things were not going to be the same...

BigBL87 · **Re: Really messed up... -** November 10th 2009, 05:00 AM

Right now, your presence is better than anything that you could ever say. His emotions and thoughts are likely going 5 million different directions, and will for some time. Different people react differently to certain statements, but a hug is pretty darn universal. Just be with him and support him.

Also, as it appears you are Christian, I'd pray for wisdom and guidance, as well as for healing in his family. If he is a Christian as well and he is up for it, praying with him in addition to being good from a spiritual perspective can also be very therapeutic.