Is he criticizing me?

[ale_x3_ily]

My boyfriend is honest with me. Sometimes brutally honest. He tells me the negative things about me and I'm wondering if this is wrong of him. He's not telling me to be mean, because after he tells me what is wrong that I do, he says "it's okay, I really like you anyway."

Is it wrong that he's telling me these things? Like right now, he just told me he feels like I follow other people too much.

I don't know whether to be upset or grateful that he's trying to let me know the things I do wrong.

[Pelios]

I don't think there is a right or wrong answer for this question. It really depends on what type of person you are. I prefer when people are "brutally" honest with me, if I ask if I look fat in a dress I want people to tell me straight forward if I do or don't. But there are people who look for a "positive support" meaning they are looking for an answer that will make them feel OK.
But he can also be honest in a gentle way.

[LetGodArise]

As Andrea says, I think that it might be in a good way.. at least, he means it that way. If you're offended, though, talk to him about it.

[PSY]

My boyfriend does this as well. Sometimes, I'm grateful that he's brought my flaws to my attention. Other times, I'm already aware of my flaws, and it's a bit annoying to be reminded of them. Over the years, we've worked out a compromise: save for a few flaws that I'm particularly sensitive about (ex. my procrastination for schoolwork), he's more than welcomed to offer "constructive criticism" regarding other things he notices.

It really depends on how your boyfriend is bringing these things to your attention. For example, he said that you "follow other people too much". Do you think he has a valid point? Is this flaw interfering with other aspects of your life (ex. do you spend a lot of time worrying about pleasing your friends, vs. doing things with your boyfriend or having fun on your own)? If so, then I don't really see how it's a bad thing. If you think he's being TOO blunt, however, then ask him to use a bit more tact when addressing his concerns.

[xxpaigiexx]

Hey Alexjandra,
I think by the sounds of it your boyfriend doesn't say these things out of criticism but out of love.
I think he could be a little bit more tactful with what he says and how he says it.
You need to think about this, is it what he's saying that bothers you or how he says it.
If things are bothering you then you need to speak to your boyfriend and make your feelings known because he won't know that it's getting to you unless you speak up.
Love Paige xox

[PSY]

Originally Posted by xxpaigiexx

You need to think about this, is it what he's saying that bothers you or how he says it.

I couldn't agree more. =) Thanks for bring this point up, Paige.

[Missy07]

There's a huge difference between constructive criticism and just picking on someone. My ex did this all the time...the whole brutally honest thing. He didn't care that what he was saying was hurting me. Anyway, I can totally relate to how this can make you feel. It depends on how you feel about it...if him pointing out every thing that he thinks you're doing wrong makes you feel like he's criticizing you, then maybe you should tell him that it's hurting you and y'all can talk it out together?

Sorry if I'm not much help...but I can definitely relate to this.