Inexperience & Child Abuse

[Double X]

So my girlfriend and I just got together recently, we were just like cuddling on the couch...but it makes me feel awkward. And I can't kiss for my life. I know I am inexperienced and suck, she is my first and I am her 3rd (4th?). But I don't care about her history at all...I do not get jealous.

I guess I get kind of queasy over romantic physical contact. I was sexually abused as a child for some time before ages 6-7. I don't want to say who but now I realize what terrible trust issues and insecurities I have over it. In everything else in my life I feel fine, because I guess I detach myself. But when I actually feel emotionally invested...it just feels wrong. I don't know.

We have been going out for over a week, so I guess it makes sense that we have kissed. But when we did, it was pretty awkward. I told her I was abused as a child briefly, and that's why I feel the way that I do sometimes it's just agh...

I don't know what to do...I feel like she hates me or thinks I am a freak. She is really a great person from what I have seen, we are just moving a tiny bit too fast for me. I don't know...I don't want her to lose interest...can someone just reassure me or offer any advice? Please?

[Supervisor]

Well make sure you undertand this is normal. But, comuntication is very important in a situation like this. I dont hink she is mad, i think that you just think that because your emotions are taking over. The best thing you can do right now is talk to her.

[PSY]

*hugs* I'm sorry to hear about what you went through as a child, Kyle. I think that you are incredibly brave and strong, to start a relationship with someone despite everything that happened to you. You are NOT a freak.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with taking things slowly. Let her know now, before you become too emotionally invested in this relationship. If she's willing to wait until you're more comfortable with "romantic physical contact", then you're all set! Just keep communicating with her, letting her know when you're ready to take things a step further, or when you need to take a step back. If she's not willing to wait, then I guess she's just not "the one"... but most people are very understanding about this sort of thing, and would be willing to go at your pace.