should i keep talking to him?

[lana_303]

i just resently stoped seeing this guy. he didn't want anything serious and i liked him too much for it to continue the way it was. he was worried about losing me as a friend and said he really liked and cared about me, which came as a surprise really. we agreed to be friends and still hangout. that was 2 weeks ago. he cancelled plans with me last week and we haven't been talking much. he says he'll talk to me later then doesn't and he stops messaging me in the middle of conversations, which is really starting to annoy me. i asked him if he wanted to still talk to me and he said he does, but obviously he doesn't. i can't see him being hurt over me ending it, so i don't get it. he's going through a hard time at home right now and i feel like i should be there for him. he talked to me about it tonight, but then randomly left again. i still like him, but i don't know if i should bother. should i still try talking to him?

[Fishie]

Yes, you should still try talking to him but this situation sounds exactly the one I am in right now, so hopefully I can be of some help to you. What it sounds like is he needs some time to himself, to think things over. Many things are running through his head right now, as he knows what kind of relationship you wanted and he is probably reevaluating the situation. He obviously doesn't want to lose you as a friend, but yet at the same time doesn't know how to keep you without you getting your hopes up. He needs some space as hard as this might be for you it is for the best to just let him be and let him come back to you so I would suggest not talking to him, well initiating the conversation and when he is ready to talk he will talk to you. This isn't easy on him either, there are two sides and it's better to just wait it out because sometimes the best things are worth waiting for. Time is what will fix this, and he will have sorted things out, sounds to me as he is confused about his feelings and how to express whatever it is he needs to express but yet he can't. He might be trying to distance himself from you aswell seeing as how you mentioned he cancelled plans. My guy has done this too, I don't know about his past but it might be the fact he is starting to fall for you and is scared or the fact that he feels distance is a good choice at this time. Either way you roll the dice, he does need some time apart from you. I say give him 3 weeks or so for him to get himself together. He also may be going through a hard time and doesn't want you to be around while he goes through this. But if he talks to you first then go ahead and talk otherwise give it 3 weeks or so of space before you contact him again,simply this gives you both a break. Best of luck!

[lana_303]

thanks. the only thing is, i'm here for school and i leave for home next month. i haven't seen him in 2 weeks and i do want to see him again before i leave. he says he does, too, but i don't know if he'd cancel again.
and again, he says he'll text me tomorrow and i'll bet you anything he won't. it hurts. if he doesn't want to talk, why does he keep saying he will?

[PSY]

I can definitely see how April's point may apply to your situation. On the other hand, the opposite could be true. He may want to break things off with you entirely, but he doesn't want to hurt your feelings. So, he's saying that he "wants to be friends". Either April could be right, and he really DOES want to be friends (and is re-evaluating his relationship with you)... or he could just be saying that to be "nice". By saying he wants to see you, then canceling his plans, he's getting you used to the idea of not having him in your life, either on a romantic or platonic level. I wouldn't say he's doing this in order to be malicious, and in order to drive you away altogether. His heart may be in the right place, but his actions are doing you more harm than good, and I think you should tell him how this is hurting your "friendship".