Still not any better..

[thesimpson90]

It's been about 3 weeks since my girlfriend broke up with me and things aren't improving at all.. After the first few days of trying to talk to her and just saying stupid things, I gave up on trying to talk to her.. The day after she called me to see how I was doing because she apparently thought she was following me when she was hanging out with her other exboyfriend and she wanted to make sure I wasn't angry or getting the wrong idea I guess. The conversation ended up with her crying because she was worried about me..? Well, we really didn't talk much after that for the next few weeks.

This week was spring break and I've gotten a few messages from her which seem like they are trying to start conversation (Hey, what are you up to?, etc.) At first when I got a message from her, I was excited. Then 15 minutes later she just randomly stopped responding. The next day the same thing basically happened. Well Friday, I had a party and she texted me before that but stopped responding again soon after, so after my party I called her out on it because it was frustrating me. She said she doesn't want to talk 24/7 like we always have.. We ended up getting into an argument over really dumb things. She started telling me I was being melodramatic and it was irritating her (following up by saying that I seemed like I was saying things just because they sounded nice and dramatic) but I don't understand because I'm not sitting here editing texts trying to make them sound amazing or anything..

I just keep getting the feeling that she really hasn't been phased at all by this breakup negatively and that she really doesn't care about me at all.. When I asked her she said that if I was going to act like she didn't care then she wouldn't and that she wouldn't text me if she didn't care about how I was doing, but I don't understand how starting a 15 minute conversation can really be productive. It seems to me, and maybe I'm just paranoid or something, that she only texts me to check up on me and if everything is alright she'll just move on like I'm some pet that she has to feed occasionaly for me to live..

This morning I apologized because some of the things I said may have been a bit unresonable (I made the mistake of drinking last night, and although I wasn't drunk I did say things I usually wouldn't say.) . She responded at 5 saying that it makes it hard for her to talk to me when I get irritated whenever she does something that's not expected? I'm not sure when I've been doing this but apparently she's under the impression that it's been going on.. I didn't text her for clarification because honestly, I'm not in the mood to fight with her again and feel like a dramatic clingy asshole because apparently that's the impression I'm giving her.

Also, she apparently told one of her friends about me driving to her house the day after we broke up and about me following her when she thought it was me so now he told his sister who told mine that I'm coming across as a stalker... So now I get to worry about a rumor of me being a stalker spreading..

I guess overall I'm just growing tired of life, yet I still enjoy living. I waste so much time thinking about her when I doubt that she's even thought of me more than once today... I seem to be getting a little better though as I can at least pretend to be happy around friends, but whenever I'm alone, I get depressed. Today for some reason was the hardest and walking in to find that my family was watching Titanic didn't help as it made me realize that I don't have a relationship and I don't have someone there for me. And I guess I'm just getting tired of everyone giving me the same advice when I can't find someone new, and giving her space doesn't solve anything.. I guess that's it for now.

[DanielR]

Hmm. Tough one...

So what exactly are you doing? Attempting to be her friend/be friends instead of dating?
I'd recommend what I always recommend: Ditch her and move on. Not everyone can stay friends with an ex girlfriend... and its not easy.

It's not fair on you that she will cancel a conversation simply because 'she doesn't want to talk to you 24/7'. If she doesn't want to talk to you that much, why the hell is she talking to you at all? You're clearly being stressed out by this... and the best way to combat stress is to cut out the thing that stresses you. I would suggest this: The next time she texts you... don't answer. Why bother? You're only spending money on the woman knowing that she'll cut the conversation off prematurely as she usually does...

Another thing I would suggest, is if she starts an argument... walk away/hang up. If she starts an argument via text, turn your phone off. You don't need it, nor do you want to argue... right?

Good luck.