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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 10th 2010, 05:50 PM

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Ugh, so I feel like I'm sitting back and watching my girlfriend cheat on me. We're in a long distance relationship and she always says things to other girls like "I lovee youu babyy" And people make "signs" for her and a girl made one for her and it said "Sex now.." and her response was "Wow youre demanding but okay ! <3" Just like under the sexual or "I love you" type signs theres always hearts and stuff. Last night she went to semi formal with some girl who she said she HAD to dance with to represent how good her highschool was. Then today she tells me it was for gym credits and she didn't do it. Theres a pictures with her arm around a bunch of girls, and I'm not really worried about those, but I am worried about one where they're like staring into each others eyes and the girl she went with was like feeding her and idk why this is all killing me. I don't know what to do anymore.. i love her.. but I feel like I can't trust her.. (By the way we're in a long distance relationship)


And she fights so you won't ignore her,
'cause thats her biggest fear.

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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 10th 2010, 06:40 PM

Hey There!

Long distance relationships are difficult at any age, let alone 14! I would say, that you need to talk to her. Talk to her about how you feel, about these other girls, and about any other worries you may have. If she is loyal to you, then she will listen to what you say, and try and stop with 'sexual inuendos'.

I mean, as an example, my boyfriend flirst LOADS with other girls, but I'm pretty confident that he will always be loyal - which means in most respects I'm fine with him flirting. Relationships are all about trust, and if you dont have trust - then you dont have much.

Talk to her about these issues, and see what she says. Your young (Hell - I'm young!), we don't need to go wasting our time on people that are going to mess us around - at this age we need to live a little, and find out what we want from life


I'm still alive.
Must have been a miracle
It's been one hell of a ride
Destination still unkown
It's a fact of life: If you make one wrong move with a gun to your head
You better walk the line or you'll be left for dead.


I'm a runaway train on a broken track
I'm the ticker on the bomb that you can't turn back
Thats right.
I got away with it all and I'm still alive.
Let the end of the world come tumbling down.
I'll be the last man standing on the ground
As long as hot blood runs through my veins
I'm still alive.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 10th 2010, 07:26 PM

Well, you are very young to be in such a relationship. And bearing in mind that your girlfriend is also young, it doesn't help a bit. So, talk with her but I just would be cautious especially since you saw those photos, you don't know what may be happening there, so just talk to her but don't be surprised if there is something else happening, just prepare yourself.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 10th 2010, 07:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksonian View Post
Well, you are very young to be in such a relationship. And bearing in mind that your girlfriend is also young, it doesn't help a bit. So, talk with her but I just would be cautious especially since you saw those photos, you don't know what may be happening there, so just talk to her but don't be surprised if there is something else happening, just prepare yourself.
Yeah, understand that that's common at your age. It's hard to have a serious relationship. I think you'll look back on this and laugh. If you don't like her "cheating" then I would break up with her.


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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 10th 2010, 10:15 PM

I have talked to her, She said nothing happened. She just went to Senior Semi - Formal with the girl so she could have someone to take pictures with. But then she told me she had to do it for her school, then said ballroom dancing was for extra credits..


And she fights so you won't ignore her,
'cause thats her biggest fear.

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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 10th 2010, 10:18 PM

I doubt you should worry about the comments. All my friends write sexual innuendos on each others pages.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 14th 2010, 12:46 AM

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Originally Posted by SaveMe View Post
I have talked to her, She said nothing happened. She just went to Senior Semi - Formal with the girl so she could have someone to take pictures with. But then she told me she had to do it for her school, then said ballroom dancing was for extra credits..
Her story is constantly changing. Which shows reason for suspicion. But don't invest heavily in this, if you have then un-invest just to get prepared just incase.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 14th 2010, 01:53 AM

To be blunt: break up with her. Don't make excuses to stay with her. I know how difficult it is but in the end it's not worth it. I know from experience. It may seem like the end of the world but I promise it's not. Just live your life and enjoy it, you don't need this kind of stress at the point of life your in currently. Just leave her and let some time heal it and then find someone you can trust and preferably that isn't long distance. If you can't trust her, you don't belong in a relationship with her.
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 14th 2010, 02:00 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jacksonian View Post
Her story is constantly changing. Which shows reason for suspicion. But don't invest heavily in this, if you have then un-invest just to get prepared just incase.
Sorry to put your age here, but 14, you might not be used to the "mind games" people play in relationships. Seriously? Extra what for dancing. Get real. That's a lie. Is it really worth you relationship? If my bf danced with another girl for "credit" It's break up with him.


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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 14th 2010, 06:05 PM

I would be cautious. While it's true that my friends and I are incredibly sexual towards each other, it could be seen as flirting with other girls. It really comes down to whether you trust her to stay loyal or not. If you know she would never cheat on you, talk to her about it and just explain that you know she would never try to hurt you but that some of the sexual innuendos bother you. If you believe that she would cheat on you, why are you with her in the first place?


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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 14th 2010, 06:19 PM

It all boils down to how much you trust her, which is a huge part of a long distance relationship. If you don't feel like she's being honest with you and it's causing you undue stress then end it. I think the whole "class credit/extra credit/representing her school" thing sounds bogus, but as to the whole like sexual jokes and stuff my friends and I can be like that two sometimes, and we were a lot worse when we were about your age. But if girls were posting stuff like that on my boyfriend's Facebook and he was responding like that I'd be pretty upset. Try talking to her, in the end it's your decision, but I would break things off. It would hurt now but in the end it might be for the best.
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 15th 2010, 01:53 AM

Thanks for the advice guys. I've talked to her a bit more, and told her I really thought she was cheating. We've been through alot together, she said to give her a week to prove shes not and if I feel like she is cheating still she said she'll step out of the picture because she wants me happy. So I said I'd give her a week. Good Idea or not I guess I'll find out. Thanks everyone <3


And she fights so you won't ignore her,
'cause thats her biggest fear.

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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 15th 2010, 02:01 AM

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Originally Posted by SaveMe View Post
Thanks for the advice guys. I've talked to her a bit more, and told her I really thought she was cheating. We've been through alot together, she said to give her a week to prove shes not and if I feel like she is cheating still she said she'll step out of the picture because she wants me happy. So I said I'd give her a week. Good Idea or not I guess I'll find out. Thanks everyone <3
Sorry to disappoint you hon, but this really seems shady. Good luck though.


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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 15th 2010, 03:15 AM

I kinda agree with Holly on this one. Is she just going to stop with the flirtatiousness for just a week and the go back to her old habits?
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 17th 2010, 03:20 AM

Thats what I've been wondering, if I see it again I'll probablyy leave. ;p


And she fights so you won't ignore her,
'cause thats her biggest fear.

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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 17th 2010, 05:33 PM

Good for you, I think that'll be for the best. Hope everything works out for you!
   
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 17th 2010, 08:26 PM

Good luck
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Re: I feel like I'm sitting back just watching her cheat.. - April 24th 2010, 01:14 AM

Thanks everyone


And she fights so you won't ignore her,
'cause thats her biggest fear.

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Keep your head up gorgeous,
they'll kill to see you
fall..
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