Non-PG13: Promiscuous or a slut?

[SquannyPants]

ok so please don't judge me too harshly for what i'm about to say.

basically i want your views on how bad this behavious is :/
i'm 18, been "sexually active" for 2yrs and i've slept with 5 guys. now that on its own to me doesnt seem like such a bad thing. but this is kinda the pattern its followed:

guy 1: 8 month relationship.
ended.
guy2: slept with him on our 2nd date. 1 month relationship, based on sex.
ended kinda badly.
guy1: had sex with him on numerous occasions.
guy3: one night stand, in a park.
guy4: 8month relationship.
ended.
moved on quickly to guy 5: slept with him on first date, 1 1/2 month casual relationship.
ended
guy6: no sex
ended.
guy5: casual sex even though now he has a gf
guy2: casual sex even though he also has a gf

so right now i'm having casual sex with these 2 guys. and i really do know i should be soso ashamed of myself, but i'm not. i love it. i love the high it gives me, i love the fact there are no strings attached, i love how uncomplicated it is, even though it probably sounds really complicated.
is what i'm doing so wrong? does it make me a slut or am i a nymphomaniac or just promiscuous or something?? i don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. i just love being single and being able to see who i want when i want n do what i want (or who i want i guess).

am i terrible person for doing this?
is there anyone else thats done somethings similar?

[flippinmayonnaise]

You're eighteen. This is a time in your life where you are free to experiment and try out new and exciting ways of living. I am certainly not one to look down on the way you decide to live your life, so no, there is nothing wrong with this. Everyone makes different decisions differently.

One thing that does concern me though, is that the two guys you are currently having casual sex with are in relationships. If they are in open relationships, that's fine, but if they are in committed relationships (relationships where if the girlfriend was to hear about you and him having sex and would get upset), I suggest you end them just to save face for the girlfriend.

Cheating can cause serious mental issues for the person it happens to. If the guys are in committed relationships, try to think about the girlfriend, who is sitting idly by unknowing of what is going on. That hurts. And to my morals, yes, that is wrong and shameful of you to take part in.

If the relationships are open, however, feel free to do whatever you please. If you're happy and doing the right thing based on your standards, that's all that matters anyways.

[I-Love-him]

Originally Posted by SquannyPants

ok so please don't judge me too harshly for what i'm about to say.

basically i want your views on how bad this behavious is :/
i'm 18, been "sexually active" for 2yrs and i've slept with 5 guys. now that on its own to me doesnt seem like such a bad thing. but this is kinda the pattern its followed:

guy 1: 8 month relationship.
ended.
guy2: slept with him on our 2nd date. 1 month relationship, based on sex.
ended kinda badly.
guy1: had sex with him on numerous occasions.
guy3: one night stand, in a park.
guy4: 8month relationship.
ended.
moved on quickly to guy 5: slept with him on first date, 1 1/2 month casual relationship.
ended
guy6: no sex
ended.
guy5: casual sex even though now he has a gf
guy2: casual sex even though he also has a gf

so right now i'm having casual sex with these 2 guys. and i really do know i should be soso ashamed of myself, but i'm not. i love it. i love the high it gives me, i love the fact there are no strings attached, i love how uncomplicated it is, even though it probably sounds really complicated.
is what i'm doing so wrong? does it make me a slut or am i a nymphomaniac or just promiscuous or something?? i don't know if there's something wrong with me or what. i just love being single and being able to see who i want when i want n do what i want (or who i want i guess).

am i terrible person for doing this?
is there anyone else thats done somethings similar?

To answer your question simply...no your not a terrible person for doing this. however if you are sleeping with guys whoh have girlfriends then i'd consider changing yourself because that just isn't fair and yes you could be considered a slut by some girls if you sleep with a guy who has a girl.

But if your enjoying sleep with lots of guys then fair play, i don't think your a slut, i just think your enjoying sex and don't want to be in a relationship which is fine. just make sure you don't lead guys on for sex. and also i hope you are safe and use protection against std's and contraception! Even if you use protection, i suggest you get checked at the std clinic just incase but other than that...

No i don't think your a slut at all! mabye promiscuous but if you enjoy it then it's fine. like i say just be careful with what you do.

[TheLittleNinja]

Hey =]

No, I don't think your a bad person - but I also think you should be careful when 'playing' with other peoples lives - I wouldn't have slept with a guy who I knew had a girlfriend.
However, if you want no strings attached sex, with out the commitment of a relationship then I'd say your behaviour is OK - however if your looking for committed relationships - then this isn't the best way to go about things.

[The Morrigan]

It doesn't seem too bad but I think you should perhaps break it off with guy 2 and guy 5 if they have girlfriends already. It's not really fair on the girls that they're already with and you don't want to get a stereotype of being the other woman.

[Brandon]

To put it plainly, I think the difference between the two is self-control. For the most part, you had self-control until the point where you started sleeping with guys who have girlfriends. I'm not gonna write an essay about why you shouldn't cheat because that's not what you're asking.

Up until the point where you started sleeping with dudes who had girlfriends, then you were doing fine. I honestly think that there's not enough sex going on in the world, and I honestly think that teenagers should be having as much protected sex as possible. It's perfectly fine to be in a relationship with a guy and have sex with him on numerous occasions. It's okay to have sex with a guy on the second date. The thing about having sex on dates, it really depends on the woman. Some women just love sex and can't help wanting it. Sex early on may end up ruining the relationship, but I think it's ultimately your choice.

So if you stopped doing guys who had girlfriends, then you'd probably be promiscuous. Otherwise, then yeah...it is kind of slutty behavior.

[WillO'Wisp]

You should not be sleeping with guys who have girlfriends, so that's nothing to be proud of. I think you are acting a bit promiscuous. I'm sorry, I'm just being honest...maybe you should slow down and wait until a special guy comes along? Alot of guys only want sex from girls, and if you give that to them they take off, never to be heard from again. There are a few good ones out there who don't just want sex, you have to wait for that one to come along.

[Keep Calm and Eat Cake]

As others have stated, the only thing that I see as a problem is how the guys have girlfriends. If they didn't have girlfriends, i'd say it's a great thing; sex no strings. Your choice obv, but will probably end in drama.

[Sonofalich]

Everyone has missed the point...

She can sleep with guys who have girl friends without any sense of guilt.

She is doing nothing wrong, it is them.

I've slept with plenty of girls who have boyfriends, do I feel guility? No... because I'm not in the relationship. I'm just a guy looking for sex.

You can't spend your entire life thinking of other people that you don't even know, because if you do. Go join a 3rd world aid group because they are the people that really need help.

What your doing is fine, only thing I would say is make sure you get regular check ups for STI's and use protection with people that you do not know / trust as getting an STI is not too fun and I speak from personal experiance...

Only people I don't use condoms on are my fuck buddies because condoms are crap... but I'd prefer my penis not to get Gonorrhea or Chlamydia or any range of infections.

[Keep Calm and Eat Cake]

Originally Posted by Sonofalich

Everyone has missed the point...

She can sleep with guys who have girl friends without any sense of guilt.

She is doing nothing wrong, it is them.

I've slept with plenty of girls who have boyfriends, do I feel guility? No... because I'm not in the relationship. I'm just a guy looking for sex.

You can't spend your entire life thinking of other people that you don't even know, because if you do. Go join a 3rd world aid group because they are the people that really need help.

What your doing is fine, only thing I would say is make sure you get regular check ups for STI's and use protection with people that you do not know / trust as getting an STI is not too fun and I speak from personal experiance...

Only people I don't use condoms on are my fuck buddies because condoms are crap... but I'd prefer my penis not to get Gonorrhea or Chlamydia or any range of infections.

Just because you don't feel guilty, doesn't make it right. I get your point that yes it is more the guys with the girlfriends that are in the wrong, but that doesn't make it any more acceptable to be apart of potentially ruining their relationship. Im not tryingto teach the OP about morals or whatever because i don't have the right to; it's her life and I know how much i hate it when people try and say whether what your doing is right or wrong. But you can't take no responsibilty for what you do.

[Magic.]

I'm 19 (just) and I've slept with five guys too. Three I was in a relationship with, two were two of my closest friends. So from a personal point, I don't think it's slutty. You're 18, and as long as you're safe and noones getting hurt I see no harm.
However as said, those guys have girlfriends, so somewhere along the line those girls are going to get hurt. I see that as going too far to have fun. Find guys that are unattached and have all the no strings fun you like, but with girlfriends involved it's not fair.

[dr2005]

Originally Posted by Sonofalich

Everyone has missed the point...

She can sleep with guys who have girl friends without any sense of guilt.

She is doing nothing wrong, it is them.

I've slept with plenty of girls who have boyfriends, do I feel guility? No... because I'm not in the relationship. I'm just a guy looking for sex.

You can't spend your entire life thinking of other people that you don't even know, because if you do. Go join a 3rd world aid group because they are the people that really need help.

All I can really say in response to that is "It take two to tango". In my view you can't really absolve yourself of responsibility for your part in things, particularly if you know the other person is in a relationship. You have the freedom to lead your life in whatever way you see fit, and I am in no position to moralise or dictate how people should conduct themselves, but at the same time you have to accept the consequences of your choices. If we don't, we'll all just be up the creek without a paddle.

As for the OP, as I said I'm in no position to moralise, but I would agree with the others in that you should probably call it quits with the two guys who have girlfriends, if only because it's a disaster waiting to happen if either girlfriend finds out. As far as the rest of it is concerned, I'd say it's your choice how you lead your life and it doesn't necessarily make you a terrible person. Just make sure you look after yourself really.

[Algernon]

Sleeping with guys with girls is not good at all.

Other than that, I wouldn't call you a slut or anything. I've been with a few guys too, but that doesn't make me a slut. I cared about all of them except one, and that was a mistake.

[Lugez]

I see no issues with this here.
Even with sleeping with the boyfriends. You have nothing to be guilty about. It's their own fault in the end because they chose to do it.

Just because you don't feel guilty, doesn't make it right. I get your point that yes it is more the guys with the girlfriends that are in the wrong, but that doesn't make it any more acceptable to be apart of potentially ruining their relationship.

What relationship is she ruining, exactly? If the guy is willing to cheat on his GF, then I don't see a great relationship to begin with. If anything, good job for sleeping with them for helping end that relationship earlier than it would have.

[PlayingPretend]

Eh. They're both in the wrong. I would say the boyfriends share more blame simply because they're the ones cheating on their girlfriends. However, she is making a conscious decision to help them do so. She is making a conscious decision to be their booty call. She will end up only hurting them, hurting their girlfriends and hurting herself, but no one can change her mind about what she's doing. I have strong, strong views on this, but you didn't want an essay on why what you're doing in these "simple" relationships is wrong.

I'll say that though it's not my preferred lifestyle, I was fine with everything up until you started saying you were sleeping with not one but two guys who you know have girlfriends. I'd use a completely different language than the term slut in that case.

[firecracker]

Originally Posted by PlayingPretend

Eh. They're both in the wrong. I would say the boyfriends share more blame simply because they're the ones cheating on their girlfriends. However, she is making a conscious decision to help them do so. She is making a conscious decision to be their booty call. She will end up only hurting them, hurting their girlfriends and hurting herself, but no one can change her mind about what she's doing.

I'll say that though it's not my preferred lifestyle, I was fine with everything up until you started saying you were sleeping with not one but two guys who you know have girlfriends. I'd use a completely different language than the term slut in that case.

I could make a post, but I would just be repeating this. I agree with all of this.

[Rainbow Dash]

The only thing I see as bad is sleeping with guys who have girlfriends. It's not fair on their girlfriends at all. I personally would only have sex with a person I was in a good relationship with, but that's just me It's your life and your body, do as you will. Like I said before the only thing I don't agree with is you sleeping with people who are in relationships.