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Relationships and Dating Ask here for advice on dates, break-ups and other relationship concerns.

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bborder Offline
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i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 22nd 2010, 11:25 PM

HELP PLEASE !! My boyfriend and i had been together for almost 3 months when we ended things. When i met him he orginally had another girlfriend but ended up leaving her for me. He was very nice in the beginning but ended up saying rude comments and being rude off and on even when i was being perfectly nice to him. One day after talking to my ex he came with me to do some errands and we kissed. Thats all that happened and he texted me after to talk about it. My boyfriend the next day went through my cell phone when i was out of the room and found out. I want to get back with my my boyfriend but he's saying he cant forgive me, even though i waited for him to get rid of his girlfriend for months and put up with his attitude for months. What should i do?

Last edited by bborder; April 22nd 2010 at 11:46 PM.
   
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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 22nd 2010, 11:46 PM

If he decides it's in his best interest to not take you back, there isn't much you can do besides move on. I'd explain to him that you want to be with him, and that anything that had happened with your ex was a mistake. It wouldn't hurt to sympathize with him.


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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 08:52 AM

I think if your boyfriend flipped out that much over a kiss after being with two girls for months (which should already be a sign he's bad news) that you should give up on him. I say maybe, if the situation with your ex isn't too bad, if you still have chemistry with him, maybe he would be a better match? (just a suggestion since i know nothing of your relationship with your ex)
   
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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 01:33 PM

Eh, I'm not going to say he overreacted. Even a couple months into the relationship, had it been me, I'd still be stung, and probably greatly, seeing as the trust would have been destroyed, and the relationship ruined, before either had even a chance to begin. I don't think it's fair to dismiss his feelings by saying "if he flipped out that much over a kiss, he's not worth it"... I feel a lot of people would, and I don't feel they're wrong for that.

That being said, if he'd been "nice in the beginning" but making rude comments, if even on and off, as the relationship progressed, then that's a red flag and pretty big warning sign that things can only stand to get worse later on, maybe even sooner than expected. Though it might be tempting to beg him for another chance, I'd really advise against doing it anymore. You don't want a potential abuser for a boyfriend; it will only end up hindering the both of you.

I also don't agree with getting with your ex. Exes are exes for a reason, and even if you cheated with your ex, I wouldn't say that that's some sign the chemistry is there or that you should be with him as opposed to being with your current boyfriend. I'd say it's more a sign that you might need to take some time to re-evaluate what you want from a partner, and what you're willing to give to a partner, before jumping into a new relationship. Part of being in a relationship is exercising self-control around exes which might stir up feelings and memories from the past, which, if you're still working on diminishing the last of your feelings for them, can be a confusing process, one in which you should take time being single to work through.
   
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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 03:17 PM

If I was in his situation, the fact that you hid it is too much to stay together, even if it was only 2 months.

Don't pressure him or try to prove yourself, just be super positive and confidant, and hope he takes you back.


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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 03:30 PM

Move on, this is at an end.
   
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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 06:52 PM

If he was being rude, you shouldn't put up with that for a second. Did you talk to him about his attitude? Because you should have.
Don't cheat. It's never acceptable. I know tons of people, including myself, who would never take a cheater back.


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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 06:58 PM

Well sorry to burst your bubble, but It's probably not going to happen. Once you cheat on someone you've pretty much sabotaged everything.


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Re: i cheated on my bf and want him back - April 24th 2010, 10:35 PM

There is always hope for a relationship to be repaired even after someones cheated, that happend with me and i was taken back becouse she wanted to give it anouther go.

Hopefully things will work out
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