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I think I'm in denial about something, and he is confusing - May 29th 2010, 10:33 PM

Alright, well, for anyone who has been paying attention to my random threads about a guy i have a special feeling for here goes. (they are titled Do you think they will last and Damn him! :P)

Well, i stood up for him and his sister who is my best friend/ pretend sister when these kids were being ass holes on facebook, and he called his sister saying how witty i was and smart and i repeatedly "owned" them and he has even more respect for me, which made me happy. Next, he started chatting me about various things, those kids, and all that. Well, i find out interestingly enough, my friend mentioned that he told her he talked to me, and it was one of the best conversations he has had with someone in a long time. This definately made me wonder and smile He is 4 years older, and i cant possibly date him, but i think we both have a soft spot for eachother. He is not a pedo so wouldn't even think of making a move, but still, it just made me wonder, because my friend says he treats me differently and thinks of me differently than her other friends, and she just knows he does. He actually sent me a friend request after i got mad he got back together with an ex and deleted him (they have a turbulent relationship, and currently are not together, just like 2 weeks ago they also split, and 3 weeks before that because she is a hussy ) But I don't really get it, i keep convincing myself, i am just another one of her stupid friends, and partially i think i do that to protect myself, but he is just confusing me. He even said that it would be cool and i would fit right in if i came to live with them for the summer in a couple years, and my friend almost fell over dead b/c he would never say that about the others.
   
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Re: I think I'm in denial about something, and he is confusing - May 30th 2010, 09:23 AM

I honestly wouldn't focus too much on comparing how he acts with you and how he acts with "the others." Getting caught up like that is like a mind trap; before long you start nit picking and over-analyzing every little action of his and lose sight of what it is you really enjoy: your time with him. Honestly, that might be more beneficial to focus on: the time you spend with him and building a friendship with him. You know right now (and wisely) that a relationship with him isn't possible, and so I wouldn't bother reading much in past that. I know it is hard to turn your sights away from someone you like, but for now I would focus on building up the friendship and not so much the relationship you wish could happen.


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Re: I think I'm in denial about something, and he is confusing - May 30th 2010, 09:38 AM

My biggest problem is i would very much like to build the friendship, but i dont want to send him the right/wrong message or annoy him by talking to him. I dont want him to know i have feelings for him, but i want to talk to him, but i dont want to annoy him or anything, or for him to think him being nice, even if he does have a little bit of a soft spot for me, makes me have some stupid little school girl crush on him. I like that i am considered different, and it worries me that i am going to mess it up and annoy him by talking to him or something, but then he said it was a good convo, but im in denial anything good could come from this, like me being able to talk to him without walking on eggshells or anything. Oy vey he is confusing me, and i am just as confusing lolz. And i dont really compare how he reguards me differntly, i just dont want to end up screwing a friendship or anything up with him.
   
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Re: I think I'm in denial about something, and he is confusing - May 30th 2010, 09:43 AM

Hey there,

It does sound like this boy might care about you. It sounds like he might feel a connection with you that he hasn't felt with others but I would encourage you to wait.

Reason one: He is four years older and dealing with different things than you. You are just barely going through your teenage years and he is coming out of them. You two would have difficulty being on the same page.

Reason two: You need to experience teenagehood and not be bogged down by a relationship with someone who might/expect more than you can give. I.E. Total and complete commitment etc. You need to experience life for a bit and then if you feel like jumping to a relationship with someone four years older than you you can. Say when you are 18.

I know right now waiting might seem hard but in the end if this relationship were meant to be it can and will survive the years. It will grow stronger and when it is meant to happen it will happen.

Right now you just need to let yourself be a adolescent and deal with all the problems of adolescence.

I hope this helped a bit. I am sorry if it isn't the greatest advice but I am tired but I promised to reply and I didn't want to not do that.

Best of luck and if you need anything pm me.

Jenna


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Re: I think I'm in denial about something, and he is confusing - May 31st 2010, 11:29 PM

Hey there. Here is my input, hopefully it shall help you.
Just be yourself. It seems you are confusing yourself and he is also confusing you. You were yourself when you were talking to him and defending him and his sister. And you were yourself when talking to him, right ? If so then keep things simple and keep being yourself.


I came here to help out, so if you wanna talk or just need someone to bounce ideas or issues off of or something else then send me a message and I will reply as soon as I can.
   
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