Obsessed :( and I hate it

[canook182]

I think im obsessed with my ex gf. Not in like the "I want you back" kind of way, but in a more "I cant get over you" kinda way. And to be honest I HATE it!! I know I need to get over this girl that i broke up with almost 4 YEARS AGO!!! but for some reason I cant. I don't know if it's a mental thing, or just my will isnt strong enough to let go of her. I just need a tip or two, if anyone has any. That would be very helpful. Iv tried a lot. Iv tried thinking of her as just another girl I dated in HS. But then I keep saying shes the girl that broke my heart in HS. I have had another GF but it just wasnt the same. Like I was saying, I honestly think im obsessed with this girl and I need any help that anyone can give.
THANKSS!!

[StabMyHeartLover]

Everbody is differn't so it takes differn't amounts of time to get over people.
What is it about her that you can't get over?
You need to talk about thouhgs things first before you can really get her out of you system.

[canook182]

Just I keep on like thinking about the past. And how it was with HER, and not how its going to be with other people. I know I shouldn't do that, but for some reason its how iv been thinking for the past almost 4 year of my life. Im fed up with it and I want to change it but I dont know how to

[PSY]

Perhaps it would help to look at your previous relationship as a learning experience, versus as a standard for future relationships. We all fall once or twice when we're learning how to ride a bike. As a result, we remind ourselves to never do some things again, or to do other things when the situation arises, or to simply coast at other times. Yes, this relationship was your "first" in certain regards, and it sucks that things didn't work out... but it doesn't have to be the standard. Rather than dwelling upon all the things that went wrong and that you wish you could have changed, dwell upon all the things that went wrong... and how you're NOT going to let them go wrong again in future relationships.

Other than that, I really can't tell you how to move on. Four years is a long time, and maybe you really won't be able to gain closure until you find someone who means even more to you than your ex-girlfriend ever has.

[NuHalo]

The heart remembers experiences better than the brain can in some cases.

It has been a long time since you guys broke up, and you still cant get that feeling out of your mind and body. I am going through the exact same thing as you right now, so just remember you aren't alone. It's been going on two years for me now, and I still know that, now compared to even just a year ago my feelings have exponentially improved. I'm definitely better off than I was before, and I'm sure you are too. Even if it's just you aren't in the 'I want you back' stage anymore.. thats an improvement.

Do what you can to cover these thoughts, by keeping yourself busy with life. And eventually, someone will cross your path... and something new and wonderful will fill you up again.

Take care.

[WillO'Wisp]

You're not alone. I remember when I was 16, I only met this guy once and we were going to go on a date but never did, I kept thinking about him, obsessing about him, and then I found out he had a gf and it crushed me, which kinda triggered some of my depression and suicidal thoughts which, now I realize, was totally stupid. But it took me a couple years to get over him, then another guy I had a crush on, he moved away and that crushed me even harder, it took me awhile to get over him, try about a few years, and then after I kept dwelling on it I finally decided I was over him and was not going to think about it or obsess about it anymore.
Everyone is different, some people get over it quickly and some people don't, with some people it takes quite a bit of time, but also something to occupy your mind to help you pass this faster. Try taking on a hobby or a sport or a craft of some kind, maybe a job, hang out with friends more often. You can't date someone and expect to fill that person's place when you are not over that person yet, of course. When you're over the person, then you will be ready to date again.
Hope this helped.