a hypothetical question

[captain_obvious]

I wasn't quite 100% sure where to put this thread.

Let's say that you meet a potential mate that meets all of the qualities that you would want in a mate. However, you discover that your mate was a terrible kisser. How would you handle the situation?

[Pelios]

I would show/teach him how to kiss

[DarkSeph]

Teach them. Communication is key in a relationship, so you should be able to tell them you don't enjoy their way of kissing and show them a way you're comfortable with.

[losing touch.]

hmm, it depends. that could be a kinda awkward situation. i'd probably just tell them.

[ShimmeringFaerie]

Agree with Liam and Andrea. It's exactly like if you had a partner who didn't know how to play your favourite sport or something. You just teach them how to play. There's no point in leaving them or anything just because they don't kiss well. Kissing can be taught and if they meet every other criteria you have for a great partner, you definitely don't want to let someone like that go.

[PlayingPretend]

I agree with what's been said.

I remember when I met my boyfriend - he loved kissing with tongue, and I disliked it. It didn't "hurt" in the sense it was painful, but it "hurt" in the sense it was aggressive and uncomfortable and honestly felt as though I were just another girl in a club he'd hooked up with. I was honest about not liking it. I told him this time around that I didn't mind him using a little bit of tongue, but I still couldn't appreciate a full-on french kiss. And there were a couple other times I had to direct him to a different approach/style of kissing. That being said, he has more of a tendency to show me what to do. He's generally the one that leads from one form of kissing to another and I follow his lead and mimick his movements. We've also both discussed the sorts of kisses we like, and talking about what we like ultimately helps us more than mentioning what we don't care for, even if it's important to touch on it briefly.

Personally, I feel the biggest issue is the delivery. Like I initially told my boyfriend I didn't like tongue by saying "ew, keep that slimey and slobbery thing away from me. " And there have been a couple occasions where my boyfriend or I have said "so slobbery. " At one point, I told my boyfriend "we're kissing, honey, the goal isn't to eat my mouth. " That's how we tend to work with one another - we use humour and then talk more deeply about it when necessary. That approach won't work for everyone. Sometimes people need a more sensitive approach. Instead of being told what they're doing wrong, perhaps they need to hear something like "hey, I want to show you my favourite sort of kiss." Other times, people need to be directly told "I don't like tongue kissing much. My favourite sorts of kisses are the butterfly kisses you give me. " and so on and so forth. It's all dependent on the person.

But the thing is, people can learn to work with one another and learn each other's likes and dislikes, and they can learn to kiss more "properly"/to your liking. I don't believe it's a suitable foundation for the ending of a relationship.

[PSY]

Show them how it's done... then practice, practice, practice. =D